Controlling people are unhappy people. When we learn to let others fly according to their personal characteristics under the control of the Holy Spirit, we then can enjoy them much more. When we can take our focus off of ourselves and let another person flourish creatively, we will have a greater happiness.
It is a matter of faith, letting go of our spouse to grow in their own way as we reap the benefits of their growth. If we can think in terms of them as half of us, the half that holds a different and exciting personality that enhances us if we do not interfere with it.
When we selfishly guard every movement of those we love, we tend to stifle their creativity, growth and intimacy with us. To resolve to enjoy the way God made our spouse and let them fly freely, they will ascend to new heights as they move through life using their gifts and talents while at the same time enhancing the entire marriage experience by their blooms.
This kind of marriage takes self sacrifice and unselfishness. A marriage that is in chains to one of the spouses wants, is a marriage doomed to hardship and resentment. Do we want our spouses to have to continually struggle to avoid their resentment, because of the bondage they feel in the union. Or, do we want our spouse to feel free to express themselves and in so doing grow closer to us.
Bondage never reaps closeness. that is why the Lord Jesus Christ never forces us to be what He wants us to be, but freely gives us what He desires, when we want it. The best way to endear someone to ourselves is to let them go and watch them grow. Then we will be truly happy and our joy will be full from their accomplishment.
