Narcissists are facts based only in their thinking. They cannot evaluate openly. They use half-truths, lies, and secretiveness to hide their true motives. They are childish in their interactions rather than having the ability to delve deeper into any situation to resolve it.
Since resolving a matter to deepen a relationship is not their goal they will fight bitterly to maintain superiority. Because they do not love they don't care about truth they only care about winning.
They use force and dogma instead of reasoning and thoughtfulness in a discussion with someone. They must win out over anyone they converse with in order to be superior. Sadly too much of their dogma is not based on the Bible but on their desired belief, even when they quote scripture it is out of context and twisted to fit their own manipulations.
They tend to have tantrums when they don't get their own way. Their tantrums come in many forms, sometimes the silent treatment, withholding kindness, and love and encouragement to punish those who will not bow to them.
When a narcissist is not getting their own way they are in attack mode to bring people and circumstances back under their control. They will hate anyone who does not follow their mandates and they never admit they are wrong about anything.
2 Timothy 3 describes them in detail and warns us to avoid them.
2 Timothy 3:1-5
(Ragingly Insane) Difficult Times Will Come
3 But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come.
2 For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, slanderers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy,
3 unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good,
4 treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God,
5 holding to a form of godliness although they have denied its power; avoid such people as these. "
Removing someone like this from your life is not giving up on them, it is giving them over to God. We cannot influence someone who hates us and fights against the wisdom God has imparted to us through His Word.
All of us should be teachers of the Word as we grow in Christ. No one is exempt from teaching and training as mature believers.
Hebrews 5:12-14
"12 For though by this time you ought to be teachers, you have need again for someone to teach you the elementary principles of the actual words of God, and you have come to need milk and not solid food.
13 For everyone who partakes only of milk is unacquainted with the word of righteousness, for he is an infant.
14 But solid food is for the mature, who because of practice have their senses trained to distinguish between good and evil."
We see more infants in the church today than we do seasoned and wise believers. It is because our modern churches are focused on the facts more than the Spirit of the Law which is the closer walk with Christ as we seek Him in all things.
Many narcissists in the church are there to boast about their knowledge but have no interest in Christ cleaning them up to walk more fully with Him. Their focus is self and personal aggrandizement just like the Pharisees who were the religious leaders of their time.
Matthew 23:5-7
"5 And they do all their deeds to be noticed by other people; for they broaden their phylacteries and lengthen the tassels of their garments.
6 And they love the place of honor at banquets, and the seats of honor in the synagogues,
7 and personal greetings in the marketplaces, and being called Rabbi by the people."
Matthew 23:15 "15 “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites, because you travel around on sea and land to make one proselyte; and when he becomes one, you make him twice as much a son of hell as yourselves."
I know many people who have claimed to lead someone to Christ only to teach them the same superficial ways and false doctrines they practice themselves. Sadly this is the reason the newcomers have the same lackluster religion of those who were able to convince them to become a Christian, to join the Christian club.
If anyone becomes a Christian to be able to fit into a group then they were never born-again. They did not come in repentance, they had not sense of their own sinfulness and they have no commitment to the gospel. They have no interest in the Bible except to pretend as they elevate themselves.
True converts show fruit quickly and genuinely. They do not take on rituals to fit in, they express their own faith without prompting and they grow in holiness and fervor. They are not fake or phony and they never act embarrassed when the name of Jesus Christ is mentioned.
How do we discern the heart of a true believer in Christ? God tells us!
Galatians 5:22-23
"22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law."
If these things are lacking or phony pretense but not genuine then we know the person is not born-again. Pretenders are not able to keep up the facade, they will break under the slightest pressure or challenge. They often revert back to their old thinking because they were never a new creation in Christ. Everything they did was an act. Some pretenders are very good at acting but none of them can hold up under scrutiny of the Bible.
Keep looking up, the worldly church is becoming more apostate every day and more hostile toward authentically born-again believers.
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