When one person is favored over another in a family setting, the one who is favored feels empowered to demean and mock the scapegoat who is not favored. The golden child as the favored one is called, can do no wrong while the scapegoat can do no right.
This favoritism causes those who elevate the favored to mock and demean the scapegoat, the one who can do no right in the eyes of the narcissist and those who follow the narcissist, known as the flying monkeys who do the bidding of the narcissist.
Favoritism on any level is sin! When we love everyone, we do not base our love on whether someone measures up to our particular idea of "good enough".
We evaluate others on the standard of God and when anyone in the family violates God's standard then we address it, no one will remain special and no one will be better than others. Everyone needs chastisement from time to time and no one gets away with sinful mean behavior.
The golden person, who can do no wrong is the one who gets away with all kinds of mean and demeaning actions while the scapegoat is treated with disdain when they are not doing anything wrong.
One example of this is when a child, the scapegoat, was sitting quietly reading a book and the golden child comes over to poke her in the shoulder. Each time the poke came the scapegoat protested and asked the golden child to stop. This only caused the golden child to continue until the scapegoat finally could take no more and shouted for him to stop. His goal was to make the scapegoat upset.
The response of the golden child was to accuse the scapegoat child of being out of control and acting too sensitive. Then the narcissistic parent steps in to chastise the scapegoat child to stop acting like a baby, while the golden child was left undisciplined at all, even feeling empowered with a smirk of delight and victory on his face.
When the narcissist cannot get us to react to their foolishness, when we finally discover in our adult years what they are, they will then "triangulate", that is to gossip to others to turn them against those they cannot control.
I have witnessed entire families who had several narcissists in them while the others in the family were treated with contempt through various means.
One of the tactics is to make sure the target knows an event is happening but that they are not invited. I have actually witnessed a scapegoat adult child being invited to functions just for the purpose of ignoring them. The narcissist needs for their target to know they are ignoring them, while loving up to the one who caused the scapegoat child so much pain.
Gossip is a huge tool of the narcissist, if they can get others to put pressure on the scapegoat through subtle ignoring or lack of communication, they will use anyone who will listen. This is why secrecy is so important to the narc, if the scapegoat is not allowed to know what is going on behind their backs, they can be left in a state of confusion as to why others are avoiding them.
God calls us to be transparent with one another, transparency clears things up, helps others understand and restores relationships. Narcissists hate open and honest communication based on integrity, because it exposes them for what they are, that is, liars, deceivers, controllers lacking conscience.
There is no love in the heart of the narcissist, this is why I believe it is demonic, demons control the minds of those who love their own devices and enjoy devaluing others for nothing more than their own pleasure.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
"4 Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant,
5 does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered,
6 does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth;
7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
8 Love never fails; but if there are gifts of prophecy, they will be done away; if there are tongues, they will cease; if there is knowledge, it will be done away."
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