Helping people is wonderful, right and good, until we are doing for them what they should do for themselves. Then we become their crutch, instead of allowing their crutch to be Jesus Christ.
Constantly propping up someone else makes them weaker. Support should be temporary, except when it is Christ supporting someone, then that help from God should be continual.
When we attempt to play God by supporting someone too much, then we are not helping them, but rather weakening them. Perhaps deep in our soul we are more concerned about being liked than we are about the overall well being of our friend.
We must realize that help becomes a hindrance to growth when that help causes our friend to depend on us rather than Christ.
The best thing we can do for our friend is to guide them to Christ, giving them a temporary boost and then letting them fly by themselves for a time to learn dependence on Christ. We can be there for them with encouragement and prayer, while allowing them to work through with Christ.
We live in a culture that praises far too much. Everyone needs to be able to do and be what is right when no one is praising them for it. People pleasers are more concerned about "appearing" helpful and encouraging than they are about actually "being" so.
The only One that anyone should depend upon is the Lord Jesus Christ. All friendships should point us to Christ at all times, making Him and His principles a priority.
When we meet someone who wants our help but rejects God's way of help, based on His principles, then we should have no other help to give them. It is time to walk away, allow them to flounder and fail until they see their need for Christ. We do no one any favors by removing their dependence on Christ.
To replace Christ in someone's life by being their help for them continually, is to play God. Notice I said "continually." We ought to be there for our brothers and sisters whenever needed, however we must be discerning to be able to know when our help is through Christ or whether it is our own desire to be elevated. We must be willing to do the hard thing to help our friend become dependent on Christ and successful in their Christian walk, sometimes that is to say no, in a kind and loving way.
Never feel guilty about letting go to let God, when the Holy Spirit is speaking this to us. Never give into the pressure of others expectations of us, we must be completely dependent on Christ to resist the pressure from others to do their will over the will of God.
Romans 12:2
"Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect."
Ephesians 5:17
"Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is."
1 John 2:16-17
"For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions—is not from the Father but is from the world. And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever."
Matthew 6:33
"But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you."
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