When we remember this we can be confident in answering authentically rather than falling into the trap of worrying about what others will think.
When we disagree with others who have already decided how we should respond there is anger and frustration in the one who ruminated on how we were supposed to respond in their heads.
Manipulation is a big part of many conversations. Sadly Christians do this with the gospel. They are convinced if they can just get the person to whom they are speaking to say what they want to hear, then they have become a Christian. This is what the "repeat after me" gospel trick is all about. It's not Biblical and lacks the faith that God will be the one to use our word, we don't need to make sure someone "gets it" before we leave.
The objective of most people today is not to share information leaving the decision to the person hearing, it is to manipulate the other person into accepting their assertion and coming on board with them. This is a lack of faith, when we obey God, and speak the truth we can walk away leaving all the results to God. We don't feel a need to make sure the person becomes what we expected.
It is not the goal of a born-again believer to win a conversation. We are to share the Word of God and leave the other person with their own choice to accept or reject. We don't need to help God by forcing and intimidating someone.
We have many false Christians today because evangelists are intimidating and manipulative to coerce an answer, causing false conversations based on conversation rather than faith in Christ.
When our goal is to win an argument it is a recipe for losing the relationship. Arrogant people do not care about a relationship they just want to win making them feel momentarily superior, the biggest relationship killer of all. "Winning" an argument is really just winning by forfeit, the person that was mocked, demeaned, and bludgeoned did not lose they just became weary of the nonsense and wisely gave it up.
To feel threatened by the rudeness of others is something we have to eliminate in our lives. We must learn to evaluate what someone says and accept it if it is true or dismiss it if it is not true without having any emotional attachment to it.
When we are insulted to cause hurt, we can feel thankful to the person for showing us who they are. Anyone who uses insults overtly or covertly is doing us a favor because they are revealing the kind of person we need to stay away from, these are those who love to bait you into useless arguments and fights.
Those who bait others in arguments want us to return fire for fire, it is natural to want to fix something through explaining, but if we remain silent and do not engage they are left with their own words on which to ruminate.
This is why God said: … Proverbs 26: 3-5 "3A whip for the horse, a bridle for the donkey, and a rod for the backs of fools! 4 Do not answer a fool according to his folly, or you yourself will be like him. 5 Answer a fool according to his folly, lest he become wise in his own eyes."
God wants us to ignore a fool and his trick to bait us. However, sometimes we need to calmly answer the foolishness and then walk away. God will tell us which and when.
Matthew 7:6 "Do not give dogs what is holy; do not throw your pearls before swine. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and then turn and tear you to pieces."
When we continue to argue with a fool we are becoming like them. The need to win an argument is a prideful mindset, it is not of God and does nothing except solidify in the mind of the others person what they already wanted to believe.
Silence is the best defense against bullies. They want a response and they want it to escalate as they manipulate us to be out of control, this is food for them.
Those who use insults are violating the scripture that says we are to control the tongue.
Proverbs 18:21 "21Life and death are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit."
Evil people know their tongue has the power to bring out of their target angry things. This is why the believer in Christ must become immune to the provocations of the evil person.
To become angry when an evil person insults you is to have a higher opinion of that person than you should, fear of them drives us to an angry response. When we are not fearful and do not care what the rude person thinks of us we feel no need to respond or explain anything to them.
What the evil person says and how they act is tied to their inner soul of disorder and fear. They fear disagreement, they fear not being in control of others because they think controlling others makes them seem powerful to those watching.
A person who needs to be seen as superior or powerful over others are very insecure and weak-minded person. They walk in fear of people constantly.
What we say and how we respond is who we are in essence.
No one can claim to be a kind person if they do not use kind words. They can't claim to be a loving person if they do rude things, even covertly, so that people don't notice except the one who has been targeted for disdain.
Proverbs 4:23
"23 Watch over your heart with all diligence,
For from it flow the springs of life."
People reveal who they are by the way they treat others. Some people can hide their real selves from those they wish to impress but they cannot hide themselves from those they think are beneath them.
Knowing and practicing the Word of God corrects our flaws and keeps us from becoming a person who is self-righteous and self-absorbed.
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