A Man Abandons His Wife

This morning my husband and I were having coffee in front of the living room window, enjoying the sun peaking through the fog on this cold winter day.

The discussion was on the marriage vows and the state of the world we live in. We are of the old school, that marriage is for life and that we are to take care of one another no matter what the hardship.

We remembered the foolishness of Pat Robertson when he took a question to answer on his show and advised a man to leave his wife.

The man who wrote the letter was asking Robertson if it was alright to leave his wife who had alzheimers to marry his girlfriend. Robertson answer that the wife was not really there anyway, she was like a dead person, therefore it was alright to divorce his wife, as long as he took care of her hospital needs, and marry his girl friend.

Never at any time did Robertson call what the man was doing "adultery." I was so agitated at his answer that I wanted to go to the back yard and scream out to the trees, the hateful injustice of this answer from a man who is revered by thousands of people all over the world. It was a travesty at best.

I would have asked the man with the inquiry, a number of important questions, the first one being, "what does God say." Then I would have answered with the words "in sickness and in health til death do us part." The answer would include all the scriptures about adultery and other scriptures having to do with self sacrifice.

The incredible wickedness of a man who would abandon his wife during her hardship, is despicable. More questions I would have asked would have been to the other woman, "what makes you think this man would stand by you in hardship when he cannot remain faithful with his first wife." Another question would have been to the man, "what kind of woman would want a man to abandon his ailing wife in favor of his fling in the sheets with her, while his wife is dying.

Can either of these selfish individuals make a good "new" marriage? First we have to understand that when this man divorces his wife, it does not sever the oneness that God created in them at marriage and even though he marries another by the law of the land, he remains in adultery with the other woman.

Robertson gave evil advice based on physical desire rather than on God's Word and His standard and principles.

Robertson removed the necessary guilt that leads one to repentance. He also endorsed fleshly selfishness while taking from the real wife, her need for companionship.

Here is what I would have told the man with the question:

"God made you one in marriage, what you are doing now is called adultery. Rather than stepping up to the plate to do the noble and sacrificial thing, in caring for your wife, you are indulging in fleshly lust. Your attitude toward you wife is hateful and mean." Then I would give him all the scriptures that pertain to self-sacrifice and God's view of marriage.

Robertson was basing his opinion, using no Scripture at all, on personal comfort and fleshly fulfillment.

This is one example of what happens when we are hiding the real us all our lives and one day without realizing it, God allows the real us to come forth in a big way.

Robertson was able to fool a lot of people for many years in his ministry, we could not see what was really inside of him. As he got older, God allowed his real self to emerge, exposing what he had been all his life. We do not all of a sudden change in our old age, all that happens is that God removes our ability to hide and exposes what our heart had been all along.

A clue that Robertson was a liar, was the prayer time when he would look into the audience of thousands of people and declare that someone "out there has cancer and is being healed right now." This was a huge violation of Scripture, divination is forbidden by God. He was using the standard technique of declaring a vague and general proclamation hoping that there would be someone who would match his prophesy, and it is lying.

This happened to Billy Graham, as well as Robertson. They were hiding inside who they really were until their old age exposed their real heart intent. They no longer had the ability to mask or hide what was in their heart, and their theology on the inside began to be exposed on the outside.

Both men were focused on fame and wealth, when they became very well known and popular, they began to let down their guard and the real self emerged. Graham spent a lifetime of compromise behind the scenes as did Robertson, until they were convinced they could say and do anything and still keep their following. They "went with the flow" of the culture.

It is best to ask the Lord to keep us in His will no matter the hardship, that our real selves are the same on the inside as they are on the outside. Eventually our old age will give us away, even if we don't know it or want it.

When we become too old and feeble to keep up pretense, then we will be exposed. People do not change as they get older, they merely are too tired to pretend anymore.

What we are in our old age is what we were inside all of our lives.

Do we become sweeter and kinder, or do we become angrier and more selfish when we are too weary to keep up the deceit?

I have given no scripture here because the post is long, but it is easy enough for each person to do their own research on these points. Please do not look at commentaries, read God's Word and pray as you read.

One might want to look up words like; marriage, selflessness, servant, put asunder, love, remain single, divorce, Love your wife as Christ loved the church, lay down life for wife and other scriptures pertaining to the attitude of the end times as written in Timothy.

In my answer to the man who was committing adultery, I would have included this; "instead of going off with that other woman, you should be spending every minute of every day with your wife until she dies, stroking her hair feeding her, dressing her and talking to her. It doesn't matter if she knows you or not, this is your duty and reasonable service to a life long companion."