Do Not Answer a Fool According to His Folly

A born again believer is peaceful and teachable, but the pretender is vitriolic and undisciplined. This is one way to discern the difference between one who is genuinely born again and one who is a cultural Christian.

So many people these days are claiming to be Christian while they fight bitterly against proper doctrine while maligning the character of those who have remained strong in the doctrines of the Bible.

We must remove ourselves from these rebellious hearts, they will continually bring discord and contention among the brethren.

Romans 16:17
"I appeal to you, brothers, to watch out for those who cause divisions and create obstacles contrary to the doctrine that you have been taught; avoid them."

There are many people in the church gatherings today who bring in heresies, paganism and false doctrine in order to embrace the sin they love.

Just recently a woman challenged me to prove a doctrine because she was angry that I had asserted it. So I sent her much scripture and even an entire article to prove what the scripture says about the matter.

This woman wrote back to tell me that I was wrong, that I didn't even back up my assertions with Bible and then attacked my character by saying I was stubborn. Who was she describing I wonder? Perhaps she was describing herself.

Whenever you encounter someone who attacks our person rather than addressing the scripture you shared, it is a clue they are narcissists attempting to manipulate you into feeling sorry you stood for the truth. Then there is always the lying, claiming you didn't provide scripture when you did.

When I asked this person not to continue this discussion, no more e-mails since we could not come to an agreement, accused me of being arrogant for saying her doctrine was wrong and that I would not budge on this issue. In the next sentence she asserted that her doctrine was right and mine was wrong. But why did she not consider herself arrogant for saying the same thing I had said. This is a typical ploy of the narcissist. They will call name of another person, calling them out while they are doing the same thing.

Ephesians 4:1-3
"I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace."

When we see what we are dealing with it is time to excuse ourselves and walk away. Never using the same tactics of the narcissist, that is name calling, judging character and engaging in fights. This is their goal, to draw us into a fight so they can feel justified in their hatred toward us.

You will be accused of being "mean spirited" and "arrogant" by those who are these things themselves, even when you acted in a reasonable rational way, discussing calmly and setting boundaries.

Narcissists hate boundaries. When you ask them not to send any more e-mails on that particular subject and they do anyway. The need for them to have the very last word is intense. They will send one more, even after you asked them to stop and then declare in that one that they will not be writing again. This is their way of feeling they are still in control.

Allow the narcissist to have the last word. God said not to answer a fool according to their folly. He also said to answer a fool according to their folly, that is to not answer at all.

Proverbs 26:4 "…3 A whip for the horse, a bridle for the donkey, and a rod for the backs of fools! 4 Do not answer a fool according to his folly, or you yourself will be like him. 5 Answer a fool according to his folly, lest he become wise in his own eyes."