Most Christian homes I know of had fathers who never spoke of God in the home. They went to church but didn't instruct their own children.
Some husbands even resisted the wife's suggestion to read the word and pray together as a family. These women were wanting to train their children in the Lord but were dismissed by the father who claimed to be Christian. We have met disobedient Christian women too but the influence of the father carries the weight of influence with the children.
The fathers wanted to play and watch television to entertain the children but resisted spiritual guidance for the family. It is clear to me that if the father will not train the children in the Word the children will go his way and resist the mother's teaching.
If there is no father in the home then the children will be bitter and deliberately follow the way of the world. Of course, there are exceptions to these things but they are rare.
The father leads either for God or against Him. The leadership is not something a husband tries to do it is automatic, whatever the father does will be followed by the children.
If the father is superficial and argumentative the children will become that way too. The influence of the father is far greater than the mother. When the children grow up the father will be favored for his happy fun and the mother will be remembered as the one who was not so much fun for her desire to live according to the Bible.
Even when the mother attempts to train the children in the way of the Lord, they will reject her if the father negates her, in favor of following a father who is disobedient.
I have also known fathers who instructed the children in the wrong way, dismissing much of scripture while claiming to be Christians. This is why we have the superficial apostate Christianity of today. Fathers had a form of religion but negated the Bible often through his own actions and attitudes.
If you see a "Christian" family whose children reject God or say they are "Christian" but negate the Bible, you will notice that the father played Christian more than he lived the life. He attempted to entreat the children to love him through play and fun instead of standing fast for the word of God.
This is the same phenomenon in the church today. The leaders are attempting to entertain the congregation so they will like the leaders. It's not about Christ, it's about the leaders becoming popular.
The leaders in churches today are acting like disobedient fathers who want the love of their children more than they want their children to love God. The similarities are staggering.
If you have been a father who attempted to gain the love of your children more than wanting them to love God, please repent, your admission of what you did will go a long way in God's work in your adult children's lives.
Mothers who have been mistreated in this way, having been dismissed and ignored, even despised for your desire to raise the family in the Lord, will see a reward one day, even if their family never loves them. They will have a crown and approval of Christ saying:
Matthew 25:23 "23 His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Enter into the joy of your master!’ "
Remember ladies and some gentlemen who had disobedient wives, we are not responsible for results we are only responsible for obedience. And, remember too that we never know who our faithfulness influenced. It's not over for our children until they are dead.
Then, remember too that sometimes there are two faithful parents who worked together to serve the Lord in raising their children in the Word, whose children chose to defy what they were taught. That is not on the parents, it is the children who made their own choices.
Also, remember that Adam and Eve had no imperfect parents to do things incorrectly, they had only God. He was the perfect parent and yet look at what they did.
We are not animals who respond to stimuli, we are human beings who hear words and see actions and make our own choices.
Next time you hear someone accuse you or others of being a bad parent because your children chose a wicked lifestyle, remind them that we are just the imperfect messengers and it is God Who must bring the increase.
God will work in our children's lives but we may not live to see the result. Some people do not come to the Lord until they are older, but if they do choose Christ after we are gone, we will see them in heaven.
Keep praying, stay hopeful and obey God, leave all the rest to Him.
Philippians 4:6-7 "do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
Do not be so arrogant as to think YOU were the one to make your children do what is right. Know that you told the truth, you spoke to them and they made their own choice, all the rest is up to God.
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