Tuesday, April 3, 2018

Cognitive Dissonance the Elephant in the Room

"Cognitive dissonance" a term I heard recently that spurred some thoughts in me about the condition of the apostate church as well as my past experience in family gatherings.

The term describes someone acting in a way that is not consistent with their own moral code or beliefs.

I never heard the term until recently in connection with narcissism.

Sometimes when we are intimidated by others, desiring to be accepted by them, we begin to take on their ways and their thinking even though we don't really believe that way.

How often have we found ourselves being manipulated to remain silent or agree with people we know will become agitated or will not like us unless we agree with them?

In the past when I was much younger I withheld my true belief in family gatherings just to avoid the anger that I believed would ensue if I dared to disagree with the group think.

The more I allowed others to dictate the conversation, only those who agreed were allowed to speak their mind, then there would be no trouble. As soon as someone would disagree there would be rage and hatred emerging to intimidate the odd man out to remain silent or agree.

When we obey God we will not be allowing the fool to manipulate our actions or reactions. If we are controlled by the Spirit we will respond in the opposite ways that the narcissist wants us to respond.

The tactics of the fool as described in the Bible:

Proverbs 18:2
A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion.

Proverbs 29:11
A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back.

Proverbs 1:7
The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction.

Proverbs 18:6
A fool's lips walk into a fight, and his mouth invites a beating.

Proverbs 29:9
If a wise man has an argument with a fool, the fool only rages and laughs, and there is no quiet.

Our reactions to the fool that honor God as we are controlled by the Holy Spirit.

Proverbs 26:4-5
"4 Do not answer a fool according to his folly,
Or you will also be like him.
5 Answer a fool as his folly deserves,
That he not be wise in his own eyes."

The two verses in Proverbs seem to be contradictory, but they are not. Often we do best to refuse to engage in discourse with a fool knowing that he is attempting to cause trouble. However, there are times when we expose the tactics of the fool to show them their foolishness. Each action must be led by the Holy Spirit.

Being drawn into a conversation with someone whose only purpose is to cause a fight, would be foolish of us. When the fool is merely trying to win in an argument, we might point out their purpose and the silliness of their argument and then walk away from them. God will know which and when.

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