Fellowship with the world through close friendships and marriage is dangerous to us and to children that may come later.
Non-believers do not share the same standards that Believers do. In marriage, business or club interactions, they will devise solutions for life issues that are against the standards of God.
A non-believer will love the movie industry and have little or no standard for what is shown on the screen.
A non-believer will follow the ways of psychology and ungodly attitudes of the modern professionals in their dealings with children and other adults.
A non-believer lacks the discernment of the Lord in matters of morals and relationships.
A non-believer will not see anything wrong with living together, smoking, bar hopping, drunkenness, filthy language, foolishness in adults, the entertainment mentality and immoral clothing. They will also be angry at the believer for disapproving of these things.
A non-believer will love the company of other non-believers while hating the company of godly believers.
Notice that when believers spend too much time with non-believers, they tend to take on the ways of the one who dishonors God. At the very least they remain silent in the face of sin and immorality indicating approval.
Diluting their Christian standards, while in the presence of the non-believer, a believer diminishes their own standard to gain the love and admiration of the non-believer.
1 Corinthians 15:33 “Do not be deceived: "Bad company corrupts good morals."
Deuteronomy 7:3-4 “3 Furthermore, you shall not intermarry with them; you shall not give your [a]daughters to[b]their sons, nor shall you take [c]their daughters for your [d]sons. 4 For [e]they will turn your [f]sons away from [g]following Me to serve other gods; then the anger of the LORD will be kindled against you and He will quickly destroy you.”
God shows clearly in this passage that our children’s hearts will be turned away from God by the influence of the unsaved parent.
King Solomon was a good example of this, he married many pagan wives, they turned his heart away from God and toward the worship of their idols. He began determined to please God and throughout his life was influenced by his wives to practice their ways, even allowing their pagan gods into his house and bowing down to them himself.
1 Kings 11:1-13 “11 Now King Solomon loved many foreign women along with the daughter of Pharaoh: Moabite, Ammonite, Edomite, Sidonian, and Hittite women,
2 from the nations concerning which the LORD had said to the sons of Israel, “You shall not [a]associate with them, nor shall they [b]associate with you, for they will surely turn your heart away after their gods.” Solomon held fast to these in love.
3 He had seven hundred wives, princesses, and three hundred concubines, and his wives turned his heart away.
4 For when Solomon was old, his wives turned his heart away after other gods; and his heart was not wholly devoted to the LORD his God, as the heart of David his father had been.
5 For Solomon went afterAshtoreth the goddess of the Sidonians and after [d]Milcom the detestable idol of the Ammonites.
6 Solomon did what was evil in the sight of the LORD, and did not follow theLORD fully, as David his father had done.
7 Then Solomon built a high place for Chemosh the detestable idol of Moab, on the mountain which is [e]east of Jerusalem, and for Molech the detestable idol of the sons of Ammon.
8 Thus also he did for all his foreign wives, who burned incense and sacrificed to their gods.
9 Now the LORD was angry with Solomon because his heart was turned away from the LORD, the God of Israel, who had appeared to him twice,
10 and had commanded him concerning this thing, that he should not go after other gods; but he did not observe what the LORDhad commanded.
11 So the LORD said to Solomon, “Because [f]you have done this, and you have not kept My covenant and My statutes, which I have commanded you, I will surely tear the kingdom from you, and will give it to your servant.
12 Nevertheless I will not do it in your days for the sake of your father David, but I will tear it out of the hand of your son.
13 However, I will not tear away all the kingdom, but I will give one tribe to your son for the sake of My servant David and for the sake of Jerusalem which I have chosen.”
2 John 1:9-11
“9 Anyone who [b]goes too far and does not abide in the teaching of Christ, does not have God; the one who abides in the teaching, he has both the Father and the Son. 10 If anyone comes to you and does not bring this teaching, do not receive him into your house, and do not give him a greeting; 11 for the one who gives him a greeting participates in his evil deeds.”
It is a serious matter, to follow after an unsaved person either to be their close friend or to marry them.
Dating is the pre-curser to marriage, to become emotionally close to someone who is not of the same mind as ourselves is playing with dynamite. Not only do we ruin our own lives when we walk with the unsaved, we bring hardship on our children as they are confused by the influence of the unsaved parent. We should not be surprised when an unbeliever walks away from a marriage, they do not have the same commitment as a strong believer would have. They are easily influenced by their unsaved friends and the media.
More often than not, children will follow the unsaved parent’s ways because they are enticing and natural to the child. The world has much encouragement for the child to ignore the advice and teaching of the righteous parent while praising ways of the unsaved parent.
When one is married to an unsaved person, they will either give in to their spouse in the ways of the world to avoid conflict, or they will remain lonely as they follow hard after Christ and their spouse remains angry at this choice. There is a separateness in the same household, a detached emotional experience because the married couple are not in agreement.
Proverbs 3:5-7 “Trust in the LORD with all your heart
And do not lean on your own understanding. 6 In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight. 7 Do not be wise in your own eyes; Fear the LORD and turn away from evil”
While the born again believer desires to seek the Lord in all things, the unsaved spouse will not join their spouse in this, they will do things out of God’s will because they want to follow their own heart in the matters of life.
James 1:22-25 “22 But prove yourselves doers of the word, and not merely hearers who delude themselves. 23 For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks at his [a]natural face in a mirror; 24 for once he has looked at himself and gone away, [b]he has immediately forgotten what kind of person he was. 25 But one who looks intently at the perfect law, the law of liberty, and abides by it, not having become a forgetful hearer but [c]an effectual doer, this man will be blessed in [d]what he does.”
We are commanded by God to obey Him, but an unsaved person does not care about this and will become angry when we cannot follow after them in disobedience against God’s principles.
James 4:7-10 “7 Submit therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. 8 Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded. 9 Be miserable and mourn and weep; let your laughter be turned into mourning and your joy to gloom. 10 Humble yourselves in the presence of the Lord, and He will exalt you.”
God commanded us to obey Him rather than man, Acts 5:29. When we need to obey God and our spouse does not want to do that, then there is conflict in the marriage.
Proverbs 3:5-10 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart And do not lean on your own understanding.
6 In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight.
7 Do not be wise in your own eyes; Fear the Lord and turn away from evil.
8 It will be healing to your [a]body And refreshment to your bones.
9 Honor the Lord from your wealth And from the first of all your produce;
10 So your barns will be filled with plenty And your vats will overflow with new wine.”
When we marry outside our faith we open ourselves to much conflict and frustration, as we attempt to obey God and our spouse refuses to do so.
The same is true of friendships, we cannot walk with those who do not share our goal and principles of life as seen in God’s Word. They will either prevent us from fully following after Christ or they will turn us entirely away from Him. It is a constant struggle.
I believe I have presented some scriptures here that well support what I have been saying in the matter of dating and even friendship with unbelievers. There are many more Scriptures and accounts of lives mentioned in the Bible that clearly show the pitfalls of disobedience to God.
1 John 2:15 “Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him.”
Those who are in love with unbelievers have fallen in love with the ways of the world or they would not be attracted to an unsaved person.
When we are in love with Christ, we love the things of God to such a degree that an unsaved person is not spiritually or physically attractive to us. Outer beauty fades quickly when the character of the unbeliever loves the world.
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