Once again I have encountered chatter about forgiveness that the Christian community teaches which is not Biblical. The belief that we forgive those who are not repentant for our own sake is no where found in Scripture. This idea was added to incorporate psychology based on Darwinism and humanism not the Bible.
Here is what God teaches:
Forgiveness is for the reconciliation of the relationship. God commanded us to "confess" our sin and the offended to "forgive", both are commanded, two sides of the same coin. God told us to forgive when they repent. We do not become bitter because they will not confess to be forgiven. God does not forgive us when we are not repentant.
Luke 17:3-5 "…3 Watch yourselves. If your brother sins, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. 4 Even if he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times returns to say, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.” 5 The apostles said to the Lord, “Increase our faith!”…"
It takes faith to do things God's way because the world and the devil will tell us the opposite of God's ways to thwart the principles of God that work.
It is psychology that has taught for years to forgive for our own sake, this is not what God said. We are to forgive to reconcile the relationship not for ourselves. When an offender refuses to be sorry then the relationship remains broken. We pray for them but we distance ourselves. If we encounter them we treat them with the respect they didn't give us but this is not forgiveness or reconciliation. This is to glorify God and keep ourselves from bitterness.
Luke 6:27-29 "27 But to those of you who will listen, I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28 bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. 29 If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also. And if someone takes your cloak, do not withhold your tunic as well.…"
When we ignore an insult, avoid wicked people and live according to God's word we will glorify God and this will anger the world.
To reconcile with someone who continually sins against us is to invite ungodly responses and perhaps to live in frustration. God does not want us to remain with those who are contentious, they will divert our attention from Christ to the problems they cause.
1 Peter 3:9
"Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing."
Titus 3:9-11 "9 But avoid foolish controversies, genealogies, arguments, and quarrels about the law, because these things are pointless and worthless. 10 Reject a divisive man after a first and second admonition, 11 knowing that such a man is corrupt and sinful; he is self-condemned.…"
Narcissists will often poke at small things that do not matter to God to cause a reaction out of us so they can feel justified in their attempts at upsetting us. We must not allow their endeavor to shame to cause in us an ungodly reaction.
Satan can convince a pretender that what they do to others is justified and even good, but it is a lie and will decide many.
Have you ever noticed when you write something about a principle of God there will be those who get angry as though you spoke it to them even when their name was never mentioned?
This is because the world is in the spell of the evil one, he loves to cause anger and division in those who do not know Christ. If the devil can provoke a pretender into pressuring an authentic Christian into doubt and silence he counts himself as having one won something. He has won nothing and will never be able to cause a believer to leave Christ but he can cause others to stop listening to them.
Romans 16:17
"Now I urge you, brothers, to watch out for those who create divisions and obstacles that are contrary to the teaching you have learned. Turn away from them."
Avoiding the ungodly pretenders is a command of God, its not a choice but a mandate.
2 Peter 2:1
"But there were false prophets also among the people, even as there shall be false teachers among you, who privily shall bring in damnable heresies, even denying the Lord that bought them, and bring upon themselves swift destruction."
Pretenders deny the word of God when they say they are "Bible believers" but do not do what God says to do. They do not love the brethren nor do they follow Christ, they only say they do.
John 13:34-35 "…34 A new commandment I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you also must love one another. 35 By this everyone will know that you are My disciples, if you love one another.”
1 John 4:20-21
"If someone says, "I love God," and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen, how can he love God whom he has not seen? And this commandment we have from Him: that he who loves God must love his brother also."
What does this love look like?
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
"4 Love is patient, love is kind, it is not jealous; love does not brag, it is not arrogant.
5 It does not act disgracefully, it does not seek its own benefit; it is not provoked, does not keep an account of a wrong suffered,
6 it does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; 7 it keeps every confidence, it believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."
When there is love there is no assuming anything, but there is concern and dialogue to learn the intentions of the other person through listening.
When there is love there is no boasting or competitive spirit but there is joy, glee and encouragement for someone else's accomplishments.
When there is love there is not secrecy and manipulation to frustrate but there is openness, honesty and a desire to protect the feelings of others.
When there is love there is no gossip to gain others to ourselves and against others but there is a refusal to share guesses about others when there is no evidence of wrongdoing.
When there is love there is no judging of things we have little knowledge about but there is open conversations about what we see to learn the heart of the one we love to be a support to them.
When there is love there is no jealousy or envy over what someone else has but there is joy and pleasure in seeing others prosper whether it be in Spirit, in health, in accomplishments or financially. Our joy is magnified when we see others progressing.
We see how easy it is to discern love from hate when we know the word of God intimately and desire to follow the ways of Christ.
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