God Calls Divorce Violence

God Calls Divorce Violence

To believers on Divorce and Remarriage;

We have to do more than teach the "rules." We have to show the reason Christ told us not to divorce and remarry, the first reason is that He said not to, and the second reason is what happens when we reject God's ways, the consequences, are staggering for the family and for the society.

When Christ declares a matter in His Word, then we need to trust Him. He knows the consequences of unforgiveness, brutality and revenge.

Malachi 2:16 "For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously."

There is always a deep element of anger and unforgiveness in the act of divorce. There is also an element of revenge in the heart of one who remarries after divorce. We can always point to severe cases of abuse and try to justify divorce, however, most cases are not abuse, but rather two people who refuse to compromise their rights for the sake of another.

One person cannot fight all by themselves, it takes two to make a fight. When one party refuses to fight back, relinquishing their rights for the sake of peace in the house, most things could be resolved quickly.

I used to hear the excuse that it is better to divorce than to fight all the time. My answer would always be, "why don't YOU stop fighting." We have been so trained in our culture to "fight for our freedoms", that the mentality used to justify war for national freedom, unfortunately slops over into nearly every other area of our lives.

Our children have learned to defy authority when they see a good reason, even if they don't have all the wisdom and facts to make such a judgement. It is about what I want, much more than what is good for everyone.

God has provided many verses to guide us on the subject of divorce and remarriage.
If we are determined to obey God no matter what, then we will experience power to do what we should do and the blessing of a clear conscience, even greater than that is the reward we will see when we reach our eternal home.

Everything we do is an example for our children. There is an old saying, "more is caught than taught." I have seen this many times, even the children who fight with their parents, as though they hate them, will in many cases be just like the parent they disrespect.

Mark 10:2-12
"2 And the Pharisees came to him, and asked him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife? tempting him.
3 And he answered and said unto them, What did Moses command you?
4 And they said, Moses suffered to write a bill of divorcement, and to put her away.
5 And Jesus answered and said unto them, For the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept.
6 But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female.
7 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife;
8 And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh.
9 What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
10 And in the house his disciples asked him again of the same matter.
11 And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her.
12 And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery."

Luke 16:18
"18 “Everyone who [a]divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery, and he who marries one who is [b]divorced from a husband commits adultery."

1 Corinthians 7:39
"39 A wife is bound as long as her husband lives; but if her husband [a]is dead, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord."

Ephesians 5:33
"33 Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she [a]respects her husband."

Matthew 19:6-7
"6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” 7 They *said to Him, “Why then did Moses command to give her a certificate of divorce and send her away?”

Romans 7:2-3
"2 For the married woman is bound by law to her [a]husband while he is living; but if her husband dies, she is released from the law [b]concerning the husband. 3 So then, if while her husband is living she is joined to another man, she shall be called an adulteress; but if her husband dies, she is free from the law, so that she is not an adulteress though she is joined to another man."

To summarize divorce and remarriage God says;

We are not to divorce for any reason.
We are not to remarry unless a spouse is dead.
We commit adultery if we remarry while we have a living spouse.
Divorce is a violent act against a spouse.

There is no provision for divorce because of adultery, the passage that is always sited as a reason for divorce in Matthew, "except for fornication", is misunderstood by most preachers. They have been taught in seminary that there is an exception for divorce but it is only because they have not been taught correctly.

The passage in Matthew that says except for fornication was written to the Jews who had a custom of requiring a certificate of divorcement from a betrothal or what we call an engagement. Notice that that same clause is not mentioned in the other gospels, but only in Matthew.

In Matthew 1:19 Joseph is referred to as Mary's husband even though they were not formally living together and no ceremony had been performed yet.

"19 And Joseph her husband, being a righteous man and not wanting to disgrace her, planned to send her away secretly."

Joseph thought Mary had been unfaithful to their engagement, so he, being a kind man didn't want her to be stoned, was going to quietly put her away from him. After he realized that it was from the Lord that she became pregnant, he then married her after all.

The Jews had the custom of referring to the betrothed couple as husband and wife before the marriage.

We can twist the Bible every which way to say what we want it to, if we are determined to sin against God.

God allowed for walking away from an engagement if there was unfaithfulness before the marriage. But He did not allow for human beings to dissolve the union of two people who have been made one by God. A spiritual glue has been applied when God makes two people one, and no piece of paper by the law of a land, can dissolve that glue.

Any discussion on this arguing for the exception clause will be deleted. The answer has been given on this matter, there is no need for argument. If someone disagrees, then take it to the Lord, not here.