My husband and I were discussing the concept of hospitality this morning. I recalled how it was when we were growing up.
Once in a while extended family members would drop in for a visit after church and the afternoon meal. When we saw their car drive up in the yard, we immediately put on our shoes, turned off the television if it was on and put on the coffee pot. It was considered rude to greet someone at the door in stocking or bare feet and doubly rude to leave the television playing while guests were in the house.
The television was only for times when there wasn't something better to do and no people to visit with.
If the visitors stayed longer than an hour then we broke out the deserts to serve them. No one would think of entertaining guests without feeding them or a drink to refresh them.
We were taught never to eat or drink anything in front of someone else without offering them some too. If we only had one candy bar, then we should break it in half to give to our friend. If we had only one bottle of pop, then we would give it to our visitor while we had none, explaining that we had one earlier or we didn't care for any right now, to make the guest feel alright about having refreshment while we had none.
My husband and I began to laugh a little as we recalled some of the antics we have seen by the younger people who have lost that sense of loving hospitality that we were so accustomed to as children.
I went to visit a young woman a few years ago, she sent her child to come to the door to meet me. He opened the door and without saying anything, he ran away leaving me standing at the door while his mother yelled from the other room, "Son tell them to come in", but the son was no where to be seen, so I entered while shouting the young woman's name to find out where she was. She heard, and yelled at me from the kitchen where she was reclining while paging through a magazine.
No refreshment was offered, after about 15 minutes I violated my own principle of "don't ask and don't refuse", when visiting at someone else's house and asked her if I could have some of the coffee in the pot, that I saw on the counter.
She said sure, I'll get you some. She went to the china cabinet and took out an expensive china cup and then to the regular cupboard to get an every day cup. I thought, what a sweet thing to do, she was going to give me the best cup and use an everyday cup for herself, after all that's what I was raised with, the company get the best cup. But she didn't do that, she kept the expensive china cup for herself and gave me the everyday cup.
I didn't care which cup I used, it wasn't about that, for me it was about an attitude of hospitality. Making someone who comes to visit feel welcome and important to the host is important to God.
I assessed the situation later realizing that there was no special message being sent that this young woman didn't like me necessarily, it was a matter of narcissistic behavior. To the narcissist no one else exists, except to glorify them. It didn't occur to her that someone might feel strange at her behavior, not coming to the door to greet me with enthusiasm, or giving me the same kind of cup she had.
The principle behind Christian hospitality is that others always come first. We should never do anything that makes others feel less than loved and appreciated.
God even tells us to bless our enemies, that's just how important it is to practice hospitality.
Hebrews 13:2 "Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares."
1 Peter 4:9 "Show hospitality to one another without grumbling."
Romans 12:13 "Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality."
Titus 1:8 "But hospitable, a lover of good, self-controlled, upright, holy, and disciplined."
Laziness in hospitality is a blight on the name of Christ.
Mark 9:41 "For truly, I say to you, whoever gives you a cup of water to drink because you belong to Christ will by no means lose his reward."
Matthew 10:40-42 "“Whoever receives you receives me, and whoever receives me receives him who sent me. The one who receives a prophet because he is a prophet will receive a prophet's reward, and the one who receives a righteous person because he is a righteous person will receive a righteous person's reward. And whoever gives one of these little ones even a cup of cold water because he is a disciple, truly, I say to you, he will by no means lose his reward.”
(God often refers to believers as "little ones.")
Let's not neglect hospitality and let's not use others by demanding things from them.
As I mentioned above, a good host makes refreshing provision for visitors and a good visitor accepts the hospitality with gratitude.
If everyone does as they should, there can be loving relationships established and the gospel elevated because of our due diligence toward others.
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