Narcissistic abusers attempt to isolate the victim or scapegoat, since the best way to stay in control and lord it over someone, is to remove all other input from outside sources in the life of the victim.
The narcissist feels threatened by the input of others because they hate accountability. If they are with a victim long enough the victim will often begin to act like the narcissist thinking their behavior is righteous and normal, when in fact it is deviant.
In Christianity, the true Christianity, we are accountable to one another on some level. The narcissist hates any form of accountability, it means that they are not perfect as they love to believe about themselves.
In the Word of God we are never taught to "lord it over" or control another human being. We are told to share the truth and allow the hearer to decide for themselves. When the hearer will not listen to truth and are blatantly rebellious then we are to walk away and leave them to the Lord.
Matthew 20:25 "…24 And hearing this, the ten became indignant with the two brothers. 25 But Jesus called them to Himself and said, "You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great men exercise authority over them. 26 "It is not this way among you, but whoever wishes to become great among you shall be your servant,…"
There is a movement within Christendom that promotes the idea that the leaders and husbands should be served without question, while they are allowed to abuse emotionally those in their charge. This movement is evil and patently against what the Bible teaches.
God teaches in His word that leaders are to be servants first, caring deeply about the welfare and needs of those they serve. Any leaders who promotes absolute allegiance to him and expects to be served, is an evil leader.
All believers in the body are accountable to all other believers. We all have a voice in the lives of each other, even though our calling may be different from another believer, we are not less or more than any other believer.
Proverbs 27:17
"Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another."
Galatians 6:1-2
"Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ."
Matthew 18:15-17
“If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector."
James 5:16
"Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working."
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
"Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken."
James 5:19-20
"My brothers, if anyone among you wanders from the truth and someone brings him back, let him know that whoever brings back a sinner from his wandering will save his soul from death and will cover a multitude of sins."
Ephesians 4:25
"Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another."
A narcissists does not have the ability to place themselves in someone else's shoes to understand their needs. Everything is all about getting what they want, no matter how anyone else feels about it.
The most narcissistic people are those who have been excessively praised all their lives and who have had few if any rules placed on them as children or young adults. They are trained that rules are for others, not for them. They are enraged at the idea that anyone should question them or call them to account about their behavior.
One of the most tell tale signs of a selfish person is their embarrassment at manners and courtesy. They hate these things because it means that they must defer to others.
In this individualistic culture in America, people have been raised and taught to believe that no one else has a right to speak into their lives truth unless it praises or elevates them. Many people are incredulous when any attempt is made to discuss a matter that might make them accountable or appear that they have need of change in their heart or the way they conduct themselves.
This is what the teaching of self esteem has created, self absorbed, glory seeking people who cannot tolerate correction to help them see a need for change. This is the reason they do not change over time, as they grow older, they only become worse.
It is only through Christ that they can change, but even then, it is only through deep crisis that they would ever be broken enough to see their need for Christ, they already see themselves in god like status, why would they ever need to submit to an unseen God when they are their own god.
Proverbs 3:6-8 "…6 In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight. 7 Do not be wise in your own eyes; Fear the LORD and turn away from evil. 8 It will be healing to your body And refreshment to your bones.…"
Proverbs 15:21-23 "…21 Folly is joy to him who lacks sense, But a man of understanding walks straight. 22 Without consultation, plans are frustrated, But with many counselors they succeed. 23 A man has joy in an apt answer, And how delightful is a timely word!…"
Those who listen to wise counsel will see progress in their walk. Those who think they are above counsel, attempting to make themselves superior to everyone else, will see prosperity for a time, but overall will lose in the long run.
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