Often they will elevate someone for no other reason except that they know they can manipulate them. Those who use this tactic of splitting, desire to be near the person who is perceived as accomplished in one way or another, worthy of their respect, while devaluing the one who they perceive as less accomplished, unworthy of respect and honor.
Those who value one person over another depending on their accomplishments cannot have two people that they love in their life, they must have one person they love who measures up to their idea of valuable and the other they cannot love because they do not measure up to their idea of valuable. This value is often based on personality, career and appearance.
It is not always obvious what the splitter is doing, often there are subtle digs and ignoring toward the devalued one and blatant flattery and open attention to the valued one.
When we see this happening we need to exit the relationship. Even if we are the one being valued, we must learn to look past the flattery to the intent and become an ally to the devalued one.
Jude 1:16 "16 These are grumblers, finding fault, following after their own lusts; they speak arrogantly, flattering people for the sake of gaining an advantage."
When I was in elementary school, there were those who were devalued by the popular kids, they were picked on and ignored because they didn't measure up to the grandiose ideas of the special ones.
When I saw this I became angry, purposefully defending those who were being bullied, for no other reason than they were perceived as ugly, or didn't dress in style and other things that were superficial nonsense and may not have even been true.
I was what people called a "wall flower", basically meaning those who were wall flowers were invisible, no one paid much attention to them, they weren't picked on, just ignored. I always had one good friend or two, but never really fit into any group or clique.
Grateful today for what was my life, because I never was compelled to obey the group leanings, since they showed no interest in me anyway. I learned to walk according to my own mind. After I became born again it was easy to walk with Christ because I had already learned how to be alone, it was comfortable for me. Having been changed into a new creation by Christ enhanced the training He had for me before I was born again.
I have said to others in recent years, the best thing that could happen to your children is to NEVER be popular. Popularity breeds pride, compliance to worldly ways and often destroys ones ability to turn to Christ. It prevents individual thought while compliance to the clique keeps those entrenched in bondage to everyone else in the group.
When peer pressure has chains on us, we need to break free, willing to be rejected to obey Christ. The chains can only be removed by devotion to the principles of Christ no matter what!
Never allow rejection to dominate your feelings, it is our friend, it teaches us to walk alone with Christ even when we will lose everything, or what seems like everything, but is really most people.
In these last days we can expect to be rejected more than accepted when we are sold out to Christ. Glory in that, enjoy Him and walk free from the dictates of ungodly people.
James 1:2-3 "2 Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, 3 knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. 4 And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing."
Mark 13:12-13 "…12"Brother will betray brother to death, and a father his child; and children will rise up against parents and have them put to death. 13"You will be hated by all because of My name, but the one who endures to the end, he will be saved."
John 15:18-25 "John 15:18-27
18 If the world hate you, ye know that it hated me before it hated you.
19 If ye were of the world, the world would love his own: but because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hateth you.
20 Remember the word that I said unto you, The servant is not greater than his lord. If they have persecuted me, they will also persecute you; if they have kept my saying, they will keep yours also.
21 But all these things will they do unto you for my name's sake, because they know not him that sent me.
22 If I had not come and spoken unto them, they had not had sin: but now they have no cloak for their sin.
23 He that hateth me hateth my Father also.
24 If I had not done among them the works which none other man did, they had not had sin: but now have they both seen and hated both me and my Father.
25 But this cometh to pass, that the word might be fulfilled that is written in their law, They hated me without a cause."
Notice verse 25 "they hated Me without a cause."
When they hate us but we cannot see what we did to cause it, very often it is because you do not dance to their drummer, nor are you easily manipulated by them, they cannot stand your freedom and peace.
Don't allow them to control who you are in Christ, let Christ control you.
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