Don't Forget the Mothers

Let's not forget the mothers in the training of the children.

So often home school families stress the father over the mother as though the mother is insignificant. It creates a favoritism toward the father while negating the mother. This is sinful, causing strife in the family rather than unity of purpose.

Not always, but from my lengthy experience with home schooling families, I see this a lot. The mother's advice is diminished while the father's is upheld. The mother is often disdained and mocked because she is not the father. No other reason except, since she is not "THE leader", she is treated as a peer rather than significant teacher and instructor ordained by God to be so.

I have witnessed mothers who were diminished and ignored because she was "not the leader", but what many people fail to understand is that the father and mother are both important and should be honored with the same respect.

What is respect? Respect is when someone is valued because of their position in the family as a teacher or instructor. The position of instructor, protector and trainer, is one that was given by God.

Christians today tend to honor those who make them feel special and diminish those who correct or teach them things they would rather not face. They defy the word of God by their rebellion against authority, if they will not honor parents who have been placed by God over them, then they will never obey God they cannot see.

Respect is not a matter of sending flowers on holidays, it's a continual mentality of deference and appreciation for the honored one. Those who refuse to listen to their instructor, teacher or trainer, are in rebellion and cannot be expected to be blessed by God.

Narcissists often believe in order to honor one person they must diminish the other. But the truth is that God commands children to honor BOTH father and mother, not one more than the other.

The response of the narcissist is to honor the one that praises them while dishonoring the one who teaches and trains them in righteousness. Narcissists hate to be instructed but love to be stroked.

Proverbs 1:8-9 "8 Hear, my son, your father's instruction And DO NOT FORSAKE YOUR MOTHER'S TEACHING; 9 Indeed, they are a graceful wreath to your head And ornaments about your neck.…"

Exodus 20:12 "12 Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be prolonged in the land which the LORD your God gives you."

Father's who negate the mother in the presence of the children, even in subtle ways, create rebellion in the hearts of the children. Fathers need to be upholding the authority of the mother as just as important as the fathers.

When the father is not obeying God, the children will see this and enjoy him, it allows them to disobey God too. The father has much influence in the family, he has the ability to unify the family or tear it apart through his obedience to God or disobedience.

Which ever way the father goes, most often the children go too. There is greater chance the children will go the way of the Lord if the father upholds the law of God and supports the mother in her quest for holiness in the home.

When the father disobeys God and diminishes the law of the mother, the children will act in rebellion, also going the way of the father in his own rebellion.

1 Peter 3:7
"Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered."

A rebellious husband has the ability to not only destroy the spirit of a woman through his disobedience, but will also turn the children away from their mother, his wife, as they grow older. Some men love this "special" position with their children, they too are narcissists.

A godly man will protect, love and attempt to understand his wife, upholding her as an authority in the eyes of her children, fostering a love for their mother.

Which kind of father are you going to be, the one that tears down the wife in the eyes of the children, or one that builds her up, protecting her, nurturing her in the word and encouraging her in her attempts to bring righteousness to the family?

God is watching, yes He is!