Friday, March 9, 2018

Stop Relying on Others

Stop relying on others to make you happy or feel joy.....except Christ.

Rule your own life through rational thinking and the principles of God.

Growth is the best course of action to take in combating the nonsense that is going on in the world today.

Turning the microscope on ourselves will help us to grow and change. The narcissist will never do this, they remain spiritual and emotional children.

We do not want this to happen to us, so we take action to evaluate our own lives in terms of God's Word to continue the path of Spiritual growth, deeply connected to Christ as we walk along.

If we find ourselves becoming the narcissist because we have been around them so much we have taken on their tactics and techniques, take a step back. confess that sin of copying others and begin again to seek Christ to work in your life.

Resisting the power plays of narcissists against you, is the only way to break through from their influence.

We do not need people to be successful in our walk, we only need Christ. If we are going to be dependent on someone let it be Christ, never another person.

Work with people not for them, when we are not employed by a friend, our goal should not be to keep them based on doing everything they want, but on mutual agreement to walk the same path. In a friendship, no one is above another, each has their own talents and callings, it ought to be the goal of the believer to encourage each friend in their calling, not to make them like us.

There are those who want our friendship on the basis of doing whatever they want their way. This is not a true friendship, it is one sided and can never come to anything meaningful. No one person has all the knowledge or all the talent, everyone has something to offer in any endeavor. When one person attempts to control everything in a relationships then there isn't team work, only selfish manipulation to dominate.

Friendships cannot be based on domination or control, they must be based on concern for the well being of others. If one person controls everything then it is not a friendship but slavery.

When we agree with our friend all the time, whether or not we believe they are wrong will bring a very low quality of life, beside being a form of dishonesty it is a denial of our true selves.

Do not let others change you into their idea of a decent human being. Let the Lord Jesus Christ Who lives in you be the one to change you into His image.

Stop sacrificing your identity to others, allow them to be them, but when they treat you with contempt because you will not become like them, then is the time to walk away, it is not a true friendship anyway and will be nothing but frustration all the time.

When we become what others want us to be just to keep the peace, we will be denying what God made us and His mission for us.

Small minded people will attempt to intimidate us into submission to their ideas and their own identity. No where in the word of God do we see a command to do this, it is a tactic of the devil to keep cliques in place, snobby people in control of others they perceive to be weak minded and to dominate those they think are weak compared to them. These people create drama over unimportant matters in an effort to demean and repress others.

People pleasers think that keeping the peace is the right thing to do, that it is morally good. But the Bible never at any time tells us to keep the peace so others will like us. It does tell us to tell the truth and live out our own lives as we follow Christ.

This resolve to speak truth and to follow Christ is going to cause others to become angry. It is a frustration to the controller when they cannot control us, their antics increase until they see that it doesn't work and then they will go away, even excluding you from things. These controllers see this as a punishment for not becoming what they want us to be, but in reality it is a blessing to us.

Do not allow manipulators to kill your personality or the resolve within you to live Christlike. If your friends require you to become them in order to remain friends, then it is best to exit the relationship and find others who appreciate you the way God meant you to be.

Those who treat you disrespectfully, often treating you like a child who must submit to them, is not someone who can be your close friend. A friendship cannot be based on disrespect, it must be based on mutual respect and love.

If there is no respect there is no love. When we love we respect. Never believe someone who says "I love you", but then treats you as though you are less than they. Love and respect are companions. There are those who teach that certain people deserve respect while others do not. They command everyone to show deference to the leaders while the leaders have no need to respect others. When you see this, run, these people are narcissists, lording it over the people to dominate, there is no love with these people.

If a leader will not listen to correction, believing that the Holy Spirit only works through Him, chances are good he is full of pride and the Holy Spirit does not work through him.

The Holy Spirit works in ALL born again believers. No matter our calling whether a leader or not, we all have something to offer to one another, no one is greater in wisdom than everyone else, all need the insights and perspectives of one another.

1 Peter 5:2-3 "…2 Be shepherds of God’s flock that is among you, watching over them not out of compulsion, but because it is God’s will; not out of greed, but out of eagerness; 3 not lording it over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock. "

Philippians 2:2-4 "…2 then make my joy complete by being of one mind, having the same love, being united in spirit and purpose. 3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or empty pride, but in humility consider others more important than yourselves. 4 Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.…"

There are those who will punish you if you are too joyful, happy or confident, they are the ones who must be superior to you and everyone else, remove them from your lives. If you have to be in their presence, completely ignore their attempts at starting fights and exit.

It is hard to believe that there are these types in the world, but they seem to be increasing. The more unhappy and miserable the world is, the more they are going to attempt to destroy our joy in the Lord.


Romans 5:3-5
"More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us."

1 Peter 5:8
"Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour."

John 10:10
"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly."

The people who wish to bring us down or shape us into their own idea of good, will often be those used of the devil to distract us from God. Their man made rules, their personal ideas and everything they love that elevates them is often contrary to the Word of God, do not let them have their way.

Bottom line: Trust Christ every day all the time, then you will walk as He wants you to walk.

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