A Perverse Man Sows Strife

Proverbs 16:28
"A perverse man sows strife, And a whisperer separates the best of friends."

Hal Lindsey once said: "telling a secret to congress is like calling a press conference."

I say, confiding in a family member, no matter how sincere or interested they may seem, is like calling a press conference. Often things that are repeated are embellished, hardly recognizable from the original story.

YES! There are entire families who gossip with one another against the scapegoat. We see examples of this in the life of Joseph, when his brothers hated him because he was chosen by God and wanted to get rid of him. Since the brothers of Joseph were not godly people they were jealous of the attention he was given by the father and were angry at his righteous life.

They put him into a well and then sold him into slavery. HOWEVER, God had a purpose and everything the brothers did to him ultimately fulfilled God's will for him to be used in a mighty way. When God separates us from family He has a purpose that we cannot see. Hallelujah!

Many of you have been figuratively place in a deep well by family members. Just know that Joseph went through the same thing only far worse.

Remember too that even in the lives of the brothers who persecuted Joseph, he was used of God. Not only did Joseph become prominent and over his brothers as his dream once showed him, he provided for their need after they were repentant.

Joseph didn't immediately let his brothers off the hook, he required a good faith expression of obedience to him as their leader, just as the dream he had revealed that one day they would bow to him. He let them squirm a little before believing them. When he saw that they were sincere and humbly repentant, then he embraced them.

When potentially empty words like "I'm sorry" are said, there must also be evidence that those words mean something real. One way to know this is if there is humility when we question them further. The insincere man will rage at being questioned, even right after an "I'm sorry" event. The humble man who is questioned will hang their head in shame and know they deserve the doubt. The insincere man will be vague in their apology, expecting that he not be required to give details of the offense or that there would be further discussion about it.

It is not wrong to discuss the expression of sorrow to discern its genuineness. If there is rage and accusation you can be sure the apology is insincere. If there is humility and an expression of deep sorrow over the challenge, then we know the offender has been humbled and ready to change their ways.

There have been times in my life when an offender raged at the mere suggestion that we discuss the offense. When there is a refusal to have a discussion that whatever caused the offense would be resolved so it does not happen again, we know the apology was not sincere.

"I'm sorry" verbiage is often nothing more than a desire to just placate the one they wish to draw back into their web. Many times in my life I have experienced those who just wanted the bad feelings to be over, only to return quickly to their old ways that caused the problem. Manipulation is a device the narcissist uses often to regain control over their targets.

Far too many people let offenders off the hook too soon. The offender returns to their sin and even accuses the one they offended of things to deflect the blame from themselves.

Yes we are to forgive, but not too quickly and not without an expression of sorrow over sin. Our entire culture has the bad habit of forgiving just because words are said without any evidence that the offender hates their sin and will turn from it.

Proverbs 29:8-10 "…8 Mockers inflame a city, but the wise turn away anger. 9 If a wise man goes to court with a fool, there will be raving and laughing with no resolution. 10 Men of bloodshed hate a blameless man, but the upright care for his life.…"

There are many people who will use words we like to hear as a form of manipulation but they are only words, the actions of change never come.

There will be hordes of people who have claimed to be "Christian" who will be rejected by Christ because their expression of Christianity was merely words and actions to elevate self, they had no sorrow over offending a Holy God. Nor did they want to know God's will.

Matthew 7:21-23
I Never Knew You
"21 “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. 22 On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ 23 And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.’"