Confession and Forgiveness, Both Must Occur

We are called to forgive offenders when they repent. God said to forgive the WAY He forgives, that is when there is repentance. We are not required to forgive those who do not express sorrow over their offenses.

We are not to do revenge and we are to bless them when they curse us but forgiveness is for reconciling a relationship. We cannot reconcile with someone who continues their abuse, and we are not to forgive them, removing all consequences for their sin.

Luke 17:3-4 "…3 Watch yourselves. If your brother sins, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. 4 Even if he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times returns to say, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.”

Why do so many people enable others by ignoring the command to forgive WHEN there is repentance?

Why do so many people ignore the parts of these verses that say; "if he repents, forgive him."

I find this to be true for so many things in life. People have left out what is uncomfortable for them based on the psychology that they were indoctrinated to believe.

Forgiving someone who is not sorry to make yourself feel better is a self-focus and does nothing good for the offender. Feelings are temporary and are not accurate. We must do things God's way because they have a purpose, and that purpose is that people will authentically repent, "change their mind about their sin" and carry on to improve their character.

If there is no repentance and no change of mind, the offender continues sinning over and over again the same sins without a conscience toward their offenses toward others, even defending or justifying their evil.

There can only be a change in character when people are sorrowful over their sin and want to be changed by Christ. Those who are not sorry for their evil will not change until they are sorry enough to confess the sin and desire to be changed by Christ.

If we love people we require from them what God requires. We do the hard work of relationship development through confession and forgiveness, two sides of the same coin.

Society, in general, has become meaner possessing less conscience than in previous generations because they have been taught others need to forgive them without anything being required of the offender.

Forgiving an unrepentant sinner does not soften their heart as so many think, it only hardens them further.

Proverbs 28:13-14

"Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy. Blessed is the one who fears the Lord always, but whoever hardens his heart will fall into calamity."

If we love an offender we will require of them what God requires, giving them the opportunity to be free of their guilt and sin. Enabling them is not helpful to them.

The idea that we forgive for our own benefit is selfish, lacking empathy and deep concern about the soul of the offender.