Life is not about the struggles but the lessons learned from the struggles. Those who have easy lives based on personal enjoyment, don't learn very much, they tend to be superficial ill equipped for anything of value.
We often say "no pain, no gain" in reference to physical prowess, but neglect to recognize the "no pain, no gain" in spiritual lessons of life.
James 1:2-8
"2 Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials,
3 knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance.
4 And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.
5 But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him.
6 But he must ask in faith without any doubting, for the one who doubts is like the surf of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind.
7 For that man ought not to expect that he will receive anything from the Lord,
8 being a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways"
Wednesday, August 19, 2015
The Narcissist Silent Treatment
When we know we are dealing with this monster "Narcissism", it is best to cut our losses and move on, there will never be any honest caring and reciprocal kindness in a relationship like this, it will always be one sided and continual manipulation.
http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/silent-treatment-a-narcissistic-persons-preferred-weapon-0602145
http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/silent-treatment-a-narcissistic-persons-preferred-weapon-0602145
We Can Know the Heart
Matthew 7:16 ""You will know them by their fruits. Grapes are not gathered from thorn bushes nor figs from thistles, are they?"
We cannot separate the act from the person. A thief cannot steal if they don't already have theft in their heart. The heart comes first then the act after. We have been taught we cannot know the heart of a person, but God has shown us how we will know it.
Matthew 15:19 For out of the heart come evil thoughts--murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander. For out of the heart come evil thoughts--murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander.
We cannot separate the act from the person. A thief cannot steal if they don't already have theft in their heart. The heart comes first then the act after. We have been taught we cannot know the heart of a person, but God has shown us how we will know it.
Matthew 15:19 For out of the heart come evil thoughts--murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander. For out of the heart come evil thoughts--murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander.
Secrets Show Guilt
It is without a doubt a sin to keep secrets that hide sin. God requires complete disclosure when it comes to sin.
Proverbs 28:13 " 13 Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy."
What is the purpose of hiding sin from the world? It is the fear that the world will see we are not what we claim to be. The world needs to see that we still sin and what we do about it, confess and forsake, this is a good witness to the world. To make the world believe we are perfect and sinless is to malign the true gospel, that Christ paid a debt we couldn't pay and that His blood covers our sin.
The world needs to understand that they cannot work their way to heaven and that hiding sin does not make it go away. They also need to understand that believers are all about truth. When we hide our sin, it is a form of lying, pretending it didn't happen to live a superficial life based on appearances rather than authenticity.
1 John 1:9 "9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."
There are those who would say that allowing sin in the church body to be exposed, would ruin our Christian witness, they feel a need to protect the name of Christ. This is lack of faith, God has clearly shown us what to do and what to be, to do anything else based on fear of man is lack of faith.
Perhaps these same people have forgotten that sin always gets out into the community in one way or another. It is better to confess that sin publicly allowing the unsaved world to know that believers do sin and what the response to that sin should be, confession and forsaking.
When there is true confession, a sorrow over offending a holy God, will cause us to think twice about giving into temptation again. Just being sorry we got caught is not true repentance, it is merely giving in because we are going to be punished anyway, perhaps confession will make people feel sorry for us.
1 Peter 3:13-22 "13 Who is there to harm you if you prove zealous for what is good?
14 But even if you should suffer for the sake of righteousness, you are blessed. And do not fear their intimidation, and do not be troubled,
15 but sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts, always being ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you, yet with gentleness and [k]reverence;
16 and keep a good conscience so that in the thing in which you are slandered, those who revile your good behavior in Christ will be put to shame.
17 For it is better, if God should will it so, that you suffer for doing what is right rather than for doing what is wrong.
18 For Christ also died for sins once for all, the just for the unjust, so that He might bring us to God, having been put to death in the flesh, but made alive in the spirit;
19 in which also He went and made proclamation to the spirits now in prison,
20 who once were disobedient, when the patience of God kept waiting in the days of Noah, during the construction of the ark, in which a few, that is, eight persons, were brought safely through the water.
21 Corresponding to that, baptism now saves you—not the removal of dirt from the flesh, but an appeal to God for a good conscience—through the resurrection of Jesus Christ,
22 who is at the right hand of God, having gone into heaven, after angels and authorities and powers had been subjected to Him."
I have met those who are going to jail, who believe confessing will lighten their sentence or soften the hearts of the judge toward them, sadly there is no real sorrow over offending a holy God, which ought to be our first and most important response to sin. In the cases where there was true sorrow over offending God, we see there was not a return to the same sin. In the cases where there was only sorrow over getting caught, there is repeat sin later.
One of the things about hidden sin or sin covered up is that it leads the unbelieving world, who will find out, that believers are hypocrites, covering up their sin, they are no different from the world. We have seen this in the Catholic church, the cover-up was widespread and the world is finding out about it many years later.
When sin is confessed openly and the life of the sinner has changed, there is no fear of it being exposed later, everyone already knows. The punishment is executed and the sinner continues without any fear of being found out later.
The best witness on the part of the believer is to own whatever sin we have, while praying for deliverance from it. To cover it up only makes the one who sinned feel that they can get away with it, there will be no shame, making it easier to continue in it. It also leaves the sinner with continual fear of being found out later.
The world is going to accuse us even when we don't sin, fearing the world brings a snare, as God's Word says. To hide sin to avoid the anger of the unsaved world, will only make them more hostile when they find out. When we are humble owning our sin, confessing openly, then is when the unsaved world takes notice.
When we have sinned, are forgiven and humbled, we are completely accepting of the punishment that will come. We make no excuses and do not attempt to get out of punishment. We take our licks like a grown up, causing all guilt and fear to leave us.
When we are forgiven by God, because of true sorrow over offending Him, we can live free even in the face of accusations we can say confidently and without shame; "Yes I did a very bad thing, I confessed it and the Lord forgave me." It is amazing how freeing confession and openness can be.
No one can hold anything over our heads if everything is out in the open. Placing others in bondage to secrets only makes for weak and fearful relationships.
Psalm 90:8 "
8 "You have set our iniquities before you, our secret sins in the light of your presence."
When we know God sees all our sins, wouldn't it make sense that our fear would be more toward God than men. We cannot hide from God so hiding from men makes no sense, the most important One sees it all anyway.
Luke 8:17 "17 For nothing is hidden that will not be made manifest, nor is anything secret that will not be known and come to light."
To enjoy freedom in Christ after a sin has been confessed and forsaken, is not about what man will do to us, but about the lovely and precious forgiveness of God.
True freedom from our sin comes from confession, forsaking and God's forgiveness. The world needs to see it all, that they might realize they too can confess their sin, be forgiven and cleansed by Christ.
Proverbs 28:13 " 13 Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy."
What is the purpose of hiding sin from the world? It is the fear that the world will see we are not what we claim to be. The world needs to see that we still sin and what we do about it, confess and forsake, this is a good witness to the world. To make the world believe we are perfect and sinless is to malign the true gospel, that Christ paid a debt we couldn't pay and that His blood covers our sin.
The world needs to understand that they cannot work their way to heaven and that hiding sin does not make it go away. They also need to understand that believers are all about truth. When we hide our sin, it is a form of lying, pretending it didn't happen to live a superficial life based on appearances rather than authenticity.
1 John 1:9 "9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."
There are those who would say that allowing sin in the church body to be exposed, would ruin our Christian witness, they feel a need to protect the name of Christ. This is lack of faith, God has clearly shown us what to do and what to be, to do anything else based on fear of man is lack of faith.
Perhaps these same people have forgotten that sin always gets out into the community in one way or another. It is better to confess that sin publicly allowing the unsaved world to know that believers do sin and what the response to that sin should be, confession and forsaking.
When there is true confession, a sorrow over offending a holy God, will cause us to think twice about giving into temptation again. Just being sorry we got caught is not true repentance, it is merely giving in because we are going to be punished anyway, perhaps confession will make people feel sorry for us.
1 Peter 3:13-22 "13 Who is there to harm you if you prove zealous for what is good?
14 But even if you should suffer for the sake of righteousness, you are blessed. And do not fear their intimidation, and do not be troubled,
15 but sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts, always being ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you, yet with gentleness and [k]reverence;
16 and keep a good conscience so that in the thing in which you are slandered, those who revile your good behavior in Christ will be put to shame.
17 For it is better, if God should will it so, that you suffer for doing what is right rather than for doing what is wrong.
18 For Christ also died for sins once for all, the just for the unjust, so that He might bring us to God, having been put to death in the flesh, but made alive in the spirit;
19 in which also He went and made proclamation to the spirits now in prison,
20 who once were disobedient, when the patience of God kept waiting in the days of Noah, during the construction of the ark, in which a few, that is, eight persons, were brought safely through the water.
21 Corresponding to that, baptism now saves you—not the removal of dirt from the flesh, but an appeal to God for a good conscience—through the resurrection of Jesus Christ,
22 who is at the right hand of God, having gone into heaven, after angels and authorities and powers had been subjected to Him."
I have met those who are going to jail, who believe confessing will lighten their sentence or soften the hearts of the judge toward them, sadly there is no real sorrow over offending a holy God, which ought to be our first and most important response to sin. In the cases where there was true sorrow over offending God, we see there was not a return to the same sin. In the cases where there was only sorrow over getting caught, there is repeat sin later.
One of the things about hidden sin or sin covered up is that it leads the unbelieving world, who will find out, that believers are hypocrites, covering up their sin, they are no different from the world. We have seen this in the Catholic church, the cover-up was widespread and the world is finding out about it many years later.
When sin is confessed openly and the life of the sinner has changed, there is no fear of it being exposed later, everyone already knows. The punishment is executed and the sinner continues without any fear of being found out later.
The best witness on the part of the believer is to own whatever sin we have, while praying for deliverance from it. To cover it up only makes the one who sinned feel that they can get away with it, there will be no shame, making it easier to continue in it. It also leaves the sinner with continual fear of being found out later.
The world is going to accuse us even when we don't sin, fearing the world brings a snare, as God's Word says. To hide sin to avoid the anger of the unsaved world, will only make them more hostile when they find out. When we are humble owning our sin, confessing openly, then is when the unsaved world takes notice.
When we have sinned, are forgiven and humbled, we are completely accepting of the punishment that will come. We make no excuses and do not attempt to get out of punishment. We take our licks like a grown up, causing all guilt and fear to leave us.
When we are forgiven by God, because of true sorrow over offending Him, we can live free even in the face of accusations we can say confidently and without shame; "Yes I did a very bad thing, I confessed it and the Lord forgave me." It is amazing how freeing confession and openness can be.
No one can hold anything over our heads if everything is out in the open. Placing others in bondage to secrets only makes for weak and fearful relationships.
Psalm 90:8 "
8 "You have set our iniquities before you, our secret sins in the light of your presence."
When we know God sees all our sins, wouldn't it make sense that our fear would be more toward God than men. We cannot hide from God so hiding from men makes no sense, the most important One sees it all anyway.
Luke 8:17 "17 For nothing is hidden that will not be made manifest, nor is anything secret that will not be known and come to light."
To enjoy freedom in Christ after a sin has been confessed and forsaken, is not about what man will do to us, but about the lovely and precious forgiveness of God.
True freedom from our sin comes from confession, forsaking and God's forgiveness. The world needs to see it all, that they might realize they too can confess their sin, be forgiven and cleansed by Christ.
They Hate The Truth
They will hate us for telling the truth, even those who claim to be Christians will do whatever they can to malign us. Thank the Lord He tells us that all believers will experience this.
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=484930651689805&set=a.327824647400407.1073741826.100005186238061&type=1&theater
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=484930651689805&set=a.327824647400407.1073741826.100005186238061&type=1&theater
Tuesday, August 18, 2015
A New Creation or the Old One
Humanistic Psychology is based on the premise that all people are basically good. Those who do bad things are merely working through a difficulty in their life, their sin is not their own fault, but the reflexes of hardship.
The Word of God says the opposite, our bad behavior comes from our desperately sinful heart that has to be changed into a new creation by God to operate as it should.
The condition of the unbeliever's heart!
Jeremiah 17:9 ""The heart is more deceitful than all else And is desperately sick; Who can understand it?"
The condition of the Believers heart changed by God!
Ezekiel 36:26 ""Moreover, I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; and I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh."
The Word of God says the opposite, our bad behavior comes from our desperately sinful heart that has to be changed into a new creation by God to operate as it should.
The condition of the unbeliever's heart!
Jeremiah 17:9 ""The heart is more deceitful than all else And is desperately sick; Who can understand it?"
The condition of the Believers heart changed by God!
Ezekiel 36:26 ""Moreover, I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; and I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh."
No Excuses For Sin
How many times have you heard someone say that they were sorry they sinned but it was because of some things that happened to them when they were children?
This is a ploy used often in Christian circles. Most Christians don't realize that the idea that our life experiences cause us to act in certain ways, is based in humanistic psychology.
Excusing or justifying is not, nor ever has been, acceptable to God. If we think that mankind sins because of their childhood problems, then what excuse could we give to Adam and Eve for their sin against God? After all God the Father was the perfect Father, the original couple lived in a perfect environment without worries!
Every child has difficulties in their growing up years, mostly because of their own youthful sin and partly because they have imperfect fallen parents, every single one.
Very few children grow up in a Christian home and even those have their challenges. No parent is perfect, neither are any children. Children who blame their parents for their own sin, are forgetting that they were also sinful and often rebellious, resisting teaching and training from parents who loved them.
The perspectives of children are often based on their own ignorant and skewed idea of right and wrong, propelled by their own desires. They lack self control, do not honor their parents and seek pleasure more than upstanding character. If not guided properly by parents or if the child is guided but refuses the instruction, then we end up with an future adult who will follow his natural bent toward sin.
As adults we cannot blame any of our sinful behavior on what happened to us in childhood. We have all had challenging circumstances, some have even had evil perpetrated on them, when they were tender and vulnerable, however, as adults we have choices we can make, no one can claim that they have to be completely controlled by emotions from the past.
We can ignore our emotions to carry on to do what is right before God, we can even diminish our emotions by choosing to divert our attention to more productive matters and most of all we can saturate our minds with the Word of God that diminishes the pain.
Philippians 2:5 "5 Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus:"
Ephesians 5:26 "That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,"
The Word of God washes our minds, makes us think a different way.....God's way!
We may not be able to completely forget about the past, but we do not have to let it control us. The more we cogitate on what happened earlier in our life the bigger it gets, most likely much bigger than it actually was, not always but often. When we have not taken the time to ask questions and listen carefully to the perspectives of others in our life, we are left to our own faulty memory and residue feelings.
God never told us in His Word to follow our emotions, or to indulge in a bitter thought life concerning the past, quite the opposite. God knows that our memories are deeply flawed as we fostered anger in our heart toward our parents, often unjustly. I am sure that those who use their childhood as an excuse to sin, causing the uninformed to feel compassion for them, know it was not their childhood that caused them to sin, it was their own sinful character. When we stand before God we will not be asked "what did your parents do that caused this?"
It is possible that those who are holding things over the heads of those they have contempt for, are forgetting that they too could not earn love, it was a free gift from God even before we were saved. We had to accept that gift, but we didn't deserve it, neither do we deserve it now even after salvation.
It is uncanny the way a child can remember something as a negative, keeping that in their mind forgetting that the only reason they saw it as a negative was because they just didn't like the decision or discipline of the parent at the time. The memory of what happened faded or morphed but the power of the recollection was based on the anger they felt rather than the reason for the chastisement of their parent. A child almost never sees the instruction, correction or discipline from the parents perspective. If they have harbored bitterness long enough they won't even have a desire to speak to the parent to hear their side of the story.
2 Corinthians 10:5 "We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ,"
When we feel bitter about how we are raised, it is best to own that bitterness, cry out to God for cleansing and ask Him to show us the truth, even if we have to admit we were in the wrong in some way. And, never forget, it was God Who gave us the parents we have, He has a purpose in all things, if even just to show us the anger that we still have inside, that needs to be cleansed.
Psalm 51:10 "Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me."
This is a ploy used often in Christian circles. Most Christians don't realize that the idea that our life experiences cause us to act in certain ways, is based in humanistic psychology.
Excusing or justifying is not, nor ever has been, acceptable to God. If we think that mankind sins because of their childhood problems, then what excuse could we give to Adam and Eve for their sin against God? After all God the Father was the perfect Father, the original couple lived in a perfect environment without worries!
Every child has difficulties in their growing up years, mostly because of their own youthful sin and partly because they have imperfect fallen parents, every single one.
Very few children grow up in a Christian home and even those have their challenges. No parent is perfect, neither are any children. Children who blame their parents for their own sin, are forgetting that they were also sinful and often rebellious, resisting teaching and training from parents who loved them.
The perspectives of children are often based on their own ignorant and skewed idea of right and wrong, propelled by their own desires. They lack self control, do not honor their parents and seek pleasure more than upstanding character. If not guided properly by parents or if the child is guided but refuses the instruction, then we end up with an future adult who will follow his natural bent toward sin.
As adults we cannot blame any of our sinful behavior on what happened to us in childhood. We have all had challenging circumstances, some have even had evil perpetrated on them, when they were tender and vulnerable, however, as adults we have choices we can make, no one can claim that they have to be completely controlled by emotions from the past.
We can ignore our emotions to carry on to do what is right before God, we can even diminish our emotions by choosing to divert our attention to more productive matters and most of all we can saturate our minds with the Word of God that diminishes the pain.
Philippians 2:5 "5 Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus:"
Ephesians 5:26 "That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,"
The Word of God washes our minds, makes us think a different way.....God's way!
We may not be able to completely forget about the past, but we do not have to let it control us. The more we cogitate on what happened earlier in our life the bigger it gets, most likely much bigger than it actually was, not always but often. When we have not taken the time to ask questions and listen carefully to the perspectives of others in our life, we are left to our own faulty memory and residue feelings.
God never told us in His Word to follow our emotions, or to indulge in a bitter thought life concerning the past, quite the opposite. God knows that our memories are deeply flawed as we fostered anger in our heart toward our parents, often unjustly. I am sure that those who use their childhood as an excuse to sin, causing the uninformed to feel compassion for them, know it was not their childhood that caused them to sin, it was their own sinful character. When we stand before God we will not be asked "what did your parents do that caused this?"
It is possible that those who are holding things over the heads of those they have contempt for, are forgetting that they too could not earn love, it was a free gift from God even before we were saved. We had to accept that gift, but we didn't deserve it, neither do we deserve it now even after salvation.
It is uncanny the way a child can remember something as a negative, keeping that in their mind forgetting that the only reason they saw it as a negative was because they just didn't like the decision or discipline of the parent at the time. The memory of what happened faded or morphed but the power of the recollection was based on the anger they felt rather than the reason for the chastisement of their parent. A child almost never sees the instruction, correction or discipline from the parents perspective. If they have harbored bitterness long enough they won't even have a desire to speak to the parent to hear their side of the story.
2 Corinthians 10:5 "We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ,"
When we feel bitter about how we are raised, it is best to own that bitterness, cry out to God for cleansing and ask Him to show us the truth, even if we have to admit we were in the wrong in some way. And, never forget, it was God Who gave us the parents we have, He has a purpose in all things, if even just to show us the anger that we still have inside, that needs to be cleansed.
Psalm 51:10 "Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)