When someone blows up in anger, we are witnessing the real them. The kind, joyful persona that they display in public is not the real them. The real them is the one that explodes when they don't like what has been said or what has been discovered about them. There is an angry person who resides inside of the narcissist, it ruminates, hides and explodes when it no longer can stand that someone might see the real them.
I have been accused by a couple of people of writing about them. I have not mentioned names. So why would they think it is about them unless they recognize themselves in the writing?
We live in a world full of "snowflakes" as our generation has been known to call them. They are hyper-sensitive to correction, so much so that even a minor correction is enough to cause these snowflakes to destroy a relationship.
There is an increasing level of disrespect for those who speak truth. When we speak truth we are seen as mean and intolerant, when those who do evil are the ones who are mean and intolerant.
Truth heals while helping one prosper spiritually and emotionally. Lies that flatter bring ruin, only solidifying the sin that dwells in those who are resistant to correction.
Helpful counsel is seen as rude in our day. When we attempt to counsel someone in a way that will bring learning and improvement we are accused of interfering, even though the narcissist allows themselves to counsel anyone at any time without regard to respect or honor.
Proverbs 12:1-2 "1 Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates correction is stupid. 2 The good man obtains favor from the LORD, but the LORD condemns a man who devises evil."
The narcissist who desires to dominate and control others is the most unhappy and joyless person. Lacking the ability to be confident about their life, they work to destroy those who are confident in the Lord, those who know where they're going and what is truth.
Jealous of all those who practice goodness, the narcissist employs the tactics of the devil to bring down anyone who will, in their mind, outshine them.
Those who love Christ are not concerned with being better than others, they simply want to live out their lives with Christ as their head. Everything for the born again follower of Christ is about Him. Every single thing!!!!
The narcissist wants everything to be about themselves, they are the god in their own life. Their hope is that everyone else will see them as god too. They do not fear God, nor do they have respect and honor for anyone else.
Those who understand honor and respect will be that way toward everyone all the time. The fact that the narcissist picks and chooses who to honor while demonstrating disrespect to those they don't like, is the evidence that God is not first in their life if He is there at all.
Proverbs 29:8-10 "8 Mockers inflame a city, but the wise turn away anger. 9 If a wise man goes to court with a fool, there will be raving and laughing with no resolution. 10 Men of bloodshed hate a blameless man, but the upright care for his life.…"
When the unrighteous hate a blameless man they will attempt to accuse the blameless of what they are doing but the blameless are not doing.
Proverbs 18:2
"A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion."
Proverbs 1:7
"The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction."
Our group of friends says a lot about who we are! When we desire godly friends who keep us challenged in holiness then that says something important about us. If our friends are superficial, grandiose and worldly, that also says something about us. We choose friends who are like us!
As I once heard another friend say; "if we are in the bad crowd, then we are the bad crowd."
Seek the Lord with all your heart and those who are wicked will fall away from us. As we grow in holiness those who love the Lord will be drawn to us. Sometimes we have to spend a period of time alone without friends because lovely godly friends are not easy to find in this world right before the rapture.
Proverbs 28:26
"Whoever trusts in his own mind is a fool, but he who walks in wisdom will be delivered."
Proverbs 26:3-12
"A whip for the horse, a bridle for the donkey, and a rod for the back of fools. Answer not a fool according to his folly, lest you be like him yourself. Answer a fool according to his folly, lest he be wise in his own eyes. Whoever sends a message by the hand of a fool cuts off his own feet and drinks violence. Like a lame man's legs, which hang useless, is a proverb in the mouth of fools. ..."
Proverbs 10:23
"Doing wrong is like a joke to a fool, but wisdom is pleasure to a man of understanding."
Those who love the Lord love wisdom, they love the godly people and desire continual growth in holiness. But the fool hates all this, it is seen in nearly every interaction with them.
Proverbs 12:1-2 "1 Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates correction is stupid. 2 The good man obtains favor from the LORD, but the LORD condemns a man who devises evil.…"
Proverbs 18:2
"A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion."
Narcissists tell lies continually. This is devilish and exasperating for rational healthy people who understand reasonableness.
Christ and the apostles dealt with this all the time, the reason God authored 2 Timothy 3.
The devil is all about causing problems to create fear in those who are believers. If the devil can cause us to be uncertain and reserved out of fear of being wrong or accused of something, we will shut down and shut up.
When we see that someone does not want the wisdom of God from His word, then is the time to walk away and spend our energies on others who love to hear about Christ.
Praise the Lord we are not required to remain with those who do not love Christ and have nothing but contempt for us.
2 Timothy 3:1-17
"But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come.
2 For men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy,
3 unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good,
4 treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God,
5 holding to a form of godliness, although they have denied its power; Avoid such men as these.
6 For among them are those who enter into households and captivate weak women weighed down with sins, led on by various impulses,
7 always learning and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth.
8 Just as Jannes and Jambres opposed Moses, so these men also oppose the truth, men of depraved mind, rejected in regard to the faith.
9 But they will not make further progress; for their folly will be obvious to all, just as Jannes’s and Jambres’s folly was also.
10 Now you followed my teaching, conduct, purpose, faith, patience, love, perseverance,
11 persecutions, and sufferings, such as happened to me at Antioch, at Iconium and at Lystra; what persecutions I endured, and out of them all the Lord rescued me!
12 Indeed, all who desire to live godly in Christ Jesus will be persecuted.
13 But evil men and impostors will proceed from bad to worse, deceiving and being deceived.
14 You, however, continue in the things you have learned and become convinced of, knowing from whom you have learned them,
15 and that from childhood you have known the sacred writings which are able to give you the wisdom that leads to salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus.
16 All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness;
17 so that the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work."
All of these things are end times mentalities and events. We can expect it but not allow it to control our lives.
There are those men who have convinced women that they should never think for themselves or make decisions without permission. This is not Biblical but rather it is marriage abuse.
Christ gave the job of CEO of her household to the woman and the job of protecting and providing for his wife to the husband.
There is not one scripture that demonstrates a hostile dictatorship in the home where the wife operates in the capacity of the slave to the man. Disrespect for women will result in spiritual and emotional wife abuse.
The rib to make Eve was taken from Adam's side, not from his feet. Each is to work together in their life, not one working and the other dictating.
Women are instructed by God to choose to honor her husband. She honors him by helping him make right decisions as well as obeying him when he obeys God.
There is no scripture that instructs a man to intimidate, mock, demean and silence a woman in order to control her. The man is never commanded to "control his wife." A man that sees his wife as a useful object to do his every bidding is an evil man.
Men who do not respect women, using their power to demean, harm and use as objects are not only not walking with Christ but very likely are not born again.
Now, after saying all that we can learn what a good wife looks like from the pages of Scripture. She loves homemaking as described in Proverbs 31. She is continually available to her husband to help him succeed in his calling, whatever that may be.
The Biblical wife counsels her husband, is involved in community cherity work as well as managing her home the way a CEO would manage a business.
God says that a woman who does these things will make her husband look good in the city gates.
This woman will not be mousy but bold and forthright in order to be steadfast in her decisions for the household.
Her husband safely trusts her with important decisions, that she would not have to consult with him for everything.
When a man must control every aspect of the household he oversteps the bounds of the woman's role given to her by God. In this sense he usurps God's authority by monitoring and micro-managing the duties of the wife.
The wife is serving all the time and so is the husband. Each in their own way according to God's directions.
If one party is always served and the other one is always serving then there is imbalance and sin in the marriage. Someone is not obeying God.
Ephesians 5:21-6:4
"21 Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God."
The command to submit one to another is for all believers to all believers, the marriage bond is no different.
If a husband is requiring submission but will not submit himself then he is in rebellion against God and demonstrating disrespect to his wife. If the wife will not submit to her husband then she is also disrespectful.
It is not disrespectful to take a stand against evil, nor is it disrespectful to speak our minds boldly. Disrespect comes when someone is not allowed to voice their opinion or take a stand for things that are spiritually important.
When there is good communication there will be mutual interest in one another's thoughts.
Our husbands should not be masters over our slavery. They should be our friend and confidant, partner in life and leader.
A leader is one who seeks the best for those he leads and serves. Leadership is not the same as dictatorship. Leading by loving, sacrificing and providing for those in their care is God's way.
Demanding, demeaning, intimidating and contempt is the devil's way.
Think about it!
Have you ever heard of "family mobbings"?
This is when one bully decides who is a scapegoat target. This bully tells half truths and distortions of the rest of the truth to cause others to despise the target of their contempt.
As believers in Jesus Christ we can expect this phenomena to increase as the days progress toward the rapture.
Many people are experiencing irrational actions and reactions of those in the family that really make little to no sense.
These snowflake people who are full of themselves will accuse us of stupidity for setting a nice table for them when they visit. Any show of kindness or deference will be seen as weakness. Manners are embarrassing and intolerable to those who know they do not have these things.
They will become angry when we say we don't care for a particular color, because it is what they like. If we are not fond of having a birthday party for ourselves, they will interpret that as hate, since they like those things.
Sadly these people are increasing, they have decided what is good and bad, any opinion that differs from theirs is evil, worthy of their contempt.
Any suggestion that we will go our own way and do our own things is anathema to those who demand to be worshiped and elevated to the status of "special."
Narcissists often feel as though they own their friends and relatives. No one has a right to think differently from the pack or they will be chastised for it. The pack must rule and the one who rules the pack is the narcissist they all follow.
1 John 2:15-18
"Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions—is not from the Father but is from the world. And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever. Children, it is the last hour, and as you have heard that antichrist is coming, so now many antichrists have come. Therefore we know that it is the last hour."
John 15:17-19 "17 This is My command to you: Love one another. 18 If the world hates you, understand that it hated Me first. 19 If you were of the world, it would love you as its own. Instead, the world hates you, because you are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world."
Get used to it brothers and sisters!!! Praise God that you are counted among the few who think for themselves with the mind of Christ.
Philippians 2:5-8
5 Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, 6 who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, 7 but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men. 8 Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.
1 Corinthians 2:15-16 "…15 The spiritual man judges all things, but he himself is not subject to anyone’s judgment. 16“For who has known the mind of the Lord, so as to instruct Him?” But we have the mind of Christ.""
Hallelujah
This hit home!!!! I am no longer worried about anyone treating me badly for standing up for truth. Perhaps we have been trained by trials to be strong in the face of foolishness. Since we have Jesus Christ and He is all we need, we are not concerned with keeping friendships with terrible people who cause trouble by their disrespect and dishonor of us. When others rage irrationally to intimidate and control, we can stand strong, speak truth and let them walk on down the road if they do not like it.
May the Lord bless others through discernment about truth!
Follow the Link:
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Ephesians 6:12 "12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places."
We are encountering these people more frequently as the world grows more wicked before the Holy Spirit is taken out.
When we encounter those who act in ungodly ways to control their target, we know we are watching a devil who is influencing the person they dominate.
Matthew 26:22-24 "…22 Peter took Him aside and began to rebuke Him. “Far be it from You, Lord!” he said. “This shall never happen to You!” 23 But Jesus turned and said to Peter, “Get behind Me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to Me. For you do not have in mind the things of God, but the things of men.” 24 Then Jesus told His disciples, “If anyone wants to come after Me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow Me."
Peter was not a devil, he was a man who loved the Lord but did not have the Holy Spirit to be able to resist the devil when the devil influenced his thinking.
When Christ was taken to a high hill to be offered the kingdoms of the world he is God able to resist because He is God. After Christ died and rose from the dead He sent the Holy Spirit to dwell in His children. It is by the Holy Spirit that we can be discerning, recognizing good from evil and manipulation from authenticity.
Those who are pretenders, claiming to be Christian but do not possess the Holy Spirit, do not have this discernment. They do not have the ability to see things in truth or to resist the twisted thoughts the devil places in their heads.
When we have been trained by the Holy Spirit we can more easily see when a diabolical individual is working their evil. The signs become obvious over time. The more we resist the ploys and plots of the devil the worse the narcissist becomes.
The narcissist is continually compelled by their god, that is themselves, to follow any and all feelings that drive them to their evil acts. When someone is dedicated to self worship they will be also controlled by devils. Worship of self is the gateway to the demonic world. The devil will inculcate much disordered thinking into the defenseless minds of narcissists.
This is the reason we see so much evil today, discord everywhere, in families, work, churches etc. Most people are more heavily influenced by demonic forces than ever before. This has infected the entire world, being the sign of the end.
2 Timothy 3
"1 But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come.
2 For men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy,
3 unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good,
4 treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God,
5 holding to a form of godliness, although they have denied its power; Avoid such men as these.
6 For among them are those who enter into households and captivate weak women weighed down with sins, led on by various impulses,
7 always learning and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth.
8 Just as Jannes and Jambres opposed Moses, so these men also oppose the truth, men of depraved mind, rejected in regard to the faith.
9 But they will not make further progress; for their folly will be obvious to all, just as Jannes’s and Jambres’s folly was also.
10 Now you followed my teaching, conduct, purpose, faith, patience, love, perseverance,
11 persecutions, and sufferings, such as happened to me at Antioch, at Iconium and at Lystra; what persecutions I endured, and out of them all the Lord rescued me!
12 Indeed, all who desire to live godly in Christ Jesus will be persecuted.
13 But evil men and impostors will proceed from bad to worse, deceiving and being deceived.
14 You, however, continue in the things you have learned and become convinced of, knowing from whom you have learned them,
15 and that from childhood you have known the sacred writings which are able to give you the wisdom that leads to salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus.
16 All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness;
17 so that the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work."
We see from this passage that every believer will encounter wicked people who wish to draw our attentions away from God. The devil will use their weaknesses, through their thoughts to attack us in some way, even if only diminishing our walk.
If possible it is good to get away from them as 2 Timothy 3:5 tells us to do. Keep in mind it is not a suggestion that we remove ourselves from them, it is a command.
Those who practice lawlessness will attempt to and succeed in changing us into their likeness if we do not guard against it.
1 Corinthians 15:33-34 " 33 Do not be deceived: “Bad company corrupts good character.” 34 Sober up as you ought, and stop sinning; for some of you are ignorant of God. I say this to your shame.…"
Far too many believers spend too much time with ungodly family members. They are pressured by the culture that we are abandoning family if we "come out from among them." The truth is that we are always to place God above any human being.
Luke 14:26-27 "26“ If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters— yes, even his own life— he cannot be My disciple. 27 And whoever does not carry his cross and follow Me cannot be My disciple.…"
When we want to walk with Christ we must leave behind all those who hate Him. Our loyalties are always with Him over anyone else.
Matthew 10:21-23 "…21 Brother will betray brother to death, and a father his child; children will rise against their parents and have them put to death. 22 You will be hated by everyone on account of My name, but the one who perseveres to the end will be saved."
Luke 12:52-54 "…52 From now on, five in one household will be divided, three against two and two against three. 53 They will be divided, father against son and son against father, mother against daughter and daughter against mother, mother-in-law against daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law against mother-in-law.” 54 Then Jesus said to the crowds, “As soon as you see a cloud rising in the west, you say, ‘A shower is coming,’ and that is what happens."
In verse 54 of the passage in Luke we see that the mentality of hatred toward the people of God will be a major sign that Christ is coming soon. "A shower is coming" tells me that when we see the darkening of things in the world, evil prospering while righteousness is persecuted, then we will know the time is short before Christ comes for His church.
That darkness is here and growing darker every day. But then God says this:
Luke 21:27-29 "…27 At that time they will see the Son of Man coming in a cloud with power and great glory. 28 When these things begin to happen, stand up and lift up your heads, because your redemption is drawing near.” 29 Then Jesus told them a parable: “Look at the fig tree and all the trees."
Believers do not hang your head in sorrow as we see these things, be expectant and joyful. When we do not take these events or mistreatment personally as though it is unique to us, then we will be far less affected by it. Yes it hurts, yes its ugly, but its not about you, its about your devotion to Christ that angers and perturbs the devil and his angels. The narcissist is nothing more than a pawn in the hands of the devil.
Be like a rubber ball, when something hits you between the eyes let it bounce off. Admit that its the problem but do not let the problem stick to you.
Hallelujah: Knowledge is power, knowing God sees it all and is in control, brings us power to resist becoming like those who work against us.
Even a smile is intimidating when one dares to be secure in their own beliefs.
Liberals and narcissists hate that we are joyful and secure in our beliefs. These people want us to be sad and beggarly, full of fear, intimidated by their childish antics.
The born again believer has no desire to fit into the world, which will bring upon them all manner of angst. Those who are living in pride and sinful superiority will always hate another's joy.
The joy of the believer is an affront to those who are tormented in their own soul with anger and jealousy. There is no joy in the heart of the narcissist. There is glee at someone else's fall or destruction, but never enduring and constant joy.
The fruit of the Spirit is spoken of by God, it looks like this:
Galatians 5:22-23
"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law."
There are plenty of people who would claim they have these qualities. Many people have a pretense on the outside that is a thin veneer that hides the real them.
Under the thin veneer is a black soul full of hatred and anger.
Matthew 23:27-28
"27 Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside, but on the inside are full of dead men’s bones and every impurity. 28 In the same way, on the outside you appear to be righteous, but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness.…"
Our world is full of these types as we move closer to the end of the church age. When we are attacked it is good to pray to see if there is some truth in it. When God has not convicted us and we cannot see what we did that was sin, then probably we are encountering one of these narcissists.
God speaks to the born again believer when we do something wrong. We know when God is telling us or when its false guilt over someone else's reaction.
Those who ask the question after an attack, "was it me Lord, did I do something wrong", are very likely not at fault. A narcissist or rebellious person would never ask God to reveal their own actions or attitudes. The narcissist can never evaluate themselves, only those who care about truth and righteousness would do that.
2 Thessalonians 2:9-12
"9 that is, the one whose coming is in accord with the activity of Satan, with all power and signs and false wonders,
10 and with all the deception of wickedness for those who perish, because they did not receive the love of the truth so as to be saved.
11 For this reason God will send upon them a deluding influence so that they will believe what is false,
12 in order that they all may be judged who did not believe the truth, but [h]took pleasure in wickedness."
This "deluding influence" mentioned in verse 11 of the above passage, is in the world now, increasing more with each passing day. It has entered most church bodies and twisted the thinking of most professing Christians.
2 Timothy 4:2-4 "…2 Preach the word; be prepared in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, and encourage with every form of patient instruction. 3 For the time will come when men will not tolerate sound doctrine, but with itching ears they will gather around themselves teachers to suit their own desires. 4 So they will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths.…"
May we all be grateful for the ever present joy we have in our soul no matter what is going on around us or what is coming at us.
Christ has our back, He is our defender, there is no need to agonize over what is now or what is coming. Hallelujah!!!!
