Insecure people think in black and white, if we correct or instruct them they interpret that as hate. Often when they correct others they are feeling contempt for them. That's why we have so many people who act as though we have done something wrong, merely the act of instruction or correction is enough to make them feel hated and seek revenge.
Perhaps it's because those who are insecure are so invested in appearing superior that any correction or instruction sets them into a tail spin of low confidence from which they have a hard time recovering.
The most insecure people I have met, rage a lot, they cannot stand to be second fiddle to anyone, they must always be better. When we have a desire to continually be above others, we display a lack of confidence. They must control all things, refuse help and never offer it, unless it is their own idea.
Those who are secure have no need to prove themselves by demeaning and mocking others they walk in integrity and honesty nearly all the time.
Insecure people must see themselves as superior and perfect or their world comes crumbling down around them. The only way to pull themselves back up is to bring someone else down.
Proverbs 14:8-10 "…8 The wisdom of the sensible is to understand His (God's) way, But the foolishness of fools is deceit. 9 Fools mock at sin, But among the upright there is good will. 10 The heart knows its own bitterness, And a stranger does not share its joy.…"
1 John 4:19-21
"We love because he first loved us. If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. And this commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his brother."
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
"4 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; 5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; 6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."
Narcissists seem to have a need to brag about themselves or act superior because they want to be what they are not.
It seems as though they are weak because they have a need to prove something about themselves. A confident person doesn't need to prove anything .
Confident people don't have to convince anyone of what they are, they just live it, while insecure people must attempt to make people believe about them what they don't believe about themselves.
This is the reason so many people are merely happy with saying things, because if it were real in their lives they wouldn't have to speak about it they would already be doing it and the doing would be satisfying enough.
Ecclessiastes 1:5-3 "1 Guard your steps as you go to the house of God and draw near to listen rather than to offer the sacrifice of fools; for they do not know they are doing evil.
2 Do not be hasty in word or impulsive in thought to bring up a matter in the presence of God. For God is in heaven and you are on the earth; therefore let your words be few.
3 For the dream comes through much effort and the voice of a fool through many words.…"
Narcissists have to do covert things to cause reaction so that we blow up, they must make others crazy so they appear superior.
Proverbs 29:10-12 "…10 Men of bloodshed hate the blameless, But the upright are concerned for his life. 11 A fool always loses his temper, But a wise man holds it back. 12 If a ruler pays attention to falsehood, All his ministers become wicked.…"
The narcissists I have known have judged me as "rebellious" because I analyze things for myself and only accept the views of others when they agree with what I believe or they make a good point that I hadn't learned. I place no man on a pedestal, God is my source and wise men can add to that knowledge, but they can never take the place of God at the end of the day.
The narcs in my life have put the "educated" or "degreed" on a pedestal as though someone without a pedigree, cannot know the things of God. Someone actually said that to me one day in a discussion about divorce and remarriage. She persisted that the pastors that she consulted before her remarriage said it was alright and thus her permission was given by them.
Narcissists seem to want to associate with those whom they perceive to be superior. Superiority is their goal or at least their appearance of superiority. Wanting to be "like God" is their aim just as it was for Eve in the garden. The ploy of the devil has been "you can be like god." And, his cousin ploy was "you can be better than others."
We live in a world right now that rewards arrogance and mocks humility. Those who are humble may be and often are very wise but they do not parade it as a trophy.
However, the narcissist must "name drop" about which authors they read, which preachers they quote and which people they become close friends with, who have been elevated in the eyes of the popular crowd.
The reason we are seeing so many people following the prosperity preachers is more that they listen to them or know them, but that they are vicariously enjoying their prominent status by speaking about them. But I notice they don't speak of God with the same intense worship as they do the popular preachers.
When I hear a sermon in which the preacher mentions the names of famous people regularly, then I know that the preacher has not spent time with God. Had he spent time with God he would be quoting God and using his own words to express the principles and love of God. The Holy Spirit works in all believers who seek Him for wisdom, not just those who are prominent.
James 1:4-6 "…4 Allow perseverance to finish its work, so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5 If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. 6 But he must ask in faith, without doubting, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.…"
Those who are degreed according to human standards have no more of a leg up than anyone who walks with Christ. In fact the opposite may be true. Since the man of God trusting the Holy Spirit is trusting Christ to guide him, it is more likely he will become wise than the man who is trusting man to guide him.
Psalm 118:7-9 "…7 The LORD is for me among those who help me; Therefore I will look with satisfaction on those who hate me. 8 It is better to take refuge in the LORD Than to trust in man. 9 It is better to take refuge in the LORD Than to trust in princes.…"
We listen to men at times but we do not trust in them. We listen to God all the time and place our trust in Him alone.
Proverbs 3:5-8
"5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart
And do not lean on your own understanding.
6 In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He will make your paths straight.
7 Do not be wise in your own eyes;
Fear the Lord and turn away from evil.
8 It will be healing to your body
And refreshment to your bones."
"with all your heart", that does not leave room to place any trust in men, we listen, we evaluate then we pray, if the man is right because God spoke to him, wonderful, but it is not he we trust, it is God he spoke to, simple!
"I always feel alone when I'm with a Narcissist." Scott Bassett
I had to share this quote, it is the way I felt regularly while growing up with narcissists.
2 Timothy 3 types, lack character, they only have an illusion of goodness, they don't want to work hard or seek God for real goodness, they are not led by the Holy Spirit of God. Their good deeds are only verbal or minimal in order to keep the illusion active.
2 Timothy 3:1-5 "3 But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come.
2 For men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy,
3 unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good,
4 treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God,
5 holding to a form of godliness, although they have denied its power; Avoid such men as these."
"Holding to a form of godliness but having no power from God"
Verse 5
The 2 Timothy 3 types love knowledge but do not believe in anything. They worship self, God is an add on to their life to appear spiritual, but their real object of worship is themselves.
The 2 Timothy 3 types use God as a puppet while they are the puppet masters. Appearances are everything to the 2 Timothy 3 types. They use Him to elevate self in the eyes of those they wish to impress, while negating most of His Word. They want the power God has, but on their own terms without having to bow to Him.
The 2 Timothy 3 types want the power God has without having Him.
Many people today say they believe in "saved by grace and grace alone", while at the same time claiming they must be a part of that salvation by keeping what they didn't earn by works that cannot get them there.
The 2 Timothy 3 types, believe in the power of God but their god is themselves. The god they follow has no power to save them from hell all by himself but must have their help. These people have a limited view of God's power, one that is insufficient just as his death on the cross was insufficient.
The 2 Timothy 3 types, believe god needs our help in salvation, that He needs us to do certain things for Him to be able to act. You see, their god is not the God of the Bible, but the impotent and helpless god of humanism. One that must be controlled and manipulated according to their wills.
In the minds of the 2 Timothy 3 types, God died to provide all their physical, material and emotional needs. God is not about Him, but about them always about them.
How utterly devilish is the god of those who think they need to help Him in their salvation.
The god of the 2 Timothy 3 types is wimpy and impotent to do anything without their help. These same types, are deeply invested in an illusion that they are the one in control, god is just there to serve them. They lack passion about Christ, about the Bible or anything else except their own interests.
2 Timothy 3 types are more about the illusion than they are about truth or reality. They are more invested in words and superficial experiences than they are dedicated to Christ's principles.
2 Timothy 3 types are more interested in being independent from others than they are in being a member of a body that serves God together as a unit. They depend on others to elevate their status through praise but have none to give to others, even God, unless it will promote themselves. These types depend on others but hate it when anyone depends on them. They will never be there for others, only in superficial and non-sacrificial ways that ultimately end up giving them the glory.
2 Timothy 3 types love underlings, but refuse to ever be one themselves.
Those who have trusted Christ are completely comfortable with depending on Christ, they seek Him, but the 2 Timothy 3 type will not depend on Him in a very real way, it is only in words.
Reciprocity is normal and natural for a born again believer, it comes without thinking and without a need for glory. However the 2 Timothy 3 type, must be recognized for their good deeds and will not be helpful to others unless it gains them attention.
Believing in God is a superficially experienced exercise merely for the purpose of appearing righteous, they have no real interest in being anything, only appearing so.
Our churches are full of these people, you can discern them by their lack of interest in personal spiritual growth or any desire to become stronger in their Christianity. They are perfectly comfortable acting nice on the outside when it suites them. When they are challenged, even in the mildest terms to examine their own hearts, they will rage, leave the church or exact revenge on the one who called them to account.
God is more of a concept to the 2 Timothy 3 type, not a reality, someone to converse with regularly or to consult for problem solving. He is only a figment of their imagination to make themselves feel better. Much of what is going on in the church is play acting, pretending and excusing any and all ungodly behavior usually cloaked in "love", but not God's love, the love of the world.
1 John 2:15-16 "15 Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. 16 For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh, the desires of the eyes, and the pride of life—is not from the Father but from the world.…"
The 2 Timothy 3 types are not sincere about any relationship, not with people and not with God no matter how much "god-speak" they use, they are all about words and talk, not about substance.
Everything the 2 Timothy 3 type does is out of fear to control others, they live in a life of fear even though they are attempting to convince others they are superior. No one who is secure in Christ feels a need to control anyone else.
These 2 Timothy 3 types are obsessed with competition to be above others, this trait will seek to destroy those who will not foster good relationships and will influence in negative ways others in the gathering or family in which they exist.
Love the 2 Timothy 3 type, pray for him/her, but be careful to hear the Holy Spirit in dealing with them, they are directed and spoken to by demons and their aim is to ruin the believer.
It is one thing to be friends with an unsaved sinner, it is quite another to be connected to a 2 Timothy 3 type, who claims to be a Christian but who is in rebellion. Remember verse 5 of this passage, "from such get away." They have the potential to do much damage to you and your relationships with others.
