The Christian Woman is Accomplished and a Blessing!

Some of the modern books written for the Christian woman are not based on God's description of a wife but base their beliefs in human tradition and man made rules.

I once read an article about a woman who had a husband who is always late to everything.  This woman asked an older woman what she should do.  Should she remind him or just let him be late, because he was the leader and should manage his own time.  The older woman advised her to let him be late, don't say anything.  When the woman brought this to her husband to get his thoughts, he rebuked the other woman.  His response was "you are my help mate; it is up to you to help me be on time by telling me when it is time to go." 

I read one of the Pearl books and was sadly disappointed. Much of what was said was out of context and even tradition rather than scripture.  Mr. Pearl in one of them suggested that the man buy the cloths for his wife, she was not to buy her own cloths.  This is exactly opposite of the Proverbs 31 woman, she is to buy even her husbands cloths and all the cloths in the household. 

Proverbs 31:10....

Who[b] can find a virtuous[c] wife?

For her worth is far above rubies.

11 The heart of her husband safely trusts her;

So he will have no lack of gain.

12 She does him good and not evil

All the days of her life.

13 She seeks wool and flax,

And willingly works with her hands.

14 She is like the merchant ships,

She brings her food from afar.

15 She also rises while it is yet night,

And provides food for her household,

And a portion for her maidservants.

16 She considers a field and buys it;

From her profits she plants a vineyard.

17 She girds herself with strength,

And strengthens her arms.

18 She perceives that her merchandise is good,

And her lamp does not go out by night.

19 She stretches out her hands to the distaff,

And her hand holds the spindle.

20 She extends her hand to the poor,

Yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy.

21 She is not afraid of snow for her household,

For all her household is clothed with scarlet.

22 She makes tapestry for herself;

Her clothing is fine linen and purple.

23 Her husband is known in the gates,

When he sits among the elders of the land.

24 She makes linen garments and sells them,

And supplies sashes for the merchants.

25 Strength and honor are her clothing;

She shall rejoice in time to come.

26 She opens her mouth with wisdom,

And on her tongue is the law of kindness.

27 She watches over the ways of her household,

And does not eat the bread of idleness.

28 Her children rise up and call her blessed;

Her husband also, and he praises her:

29 “Many daughters have done well,

But you excel them all.”

30 Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing,

But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.

31 Give her of the fruit of her hands,

And let her own works praise her in the gates."

The woman is the manager of the house, she has been given that calling by God, not her husband.  She provides all the needs of her household as we see in the above passages.

She is to mandate the household functions and the husband is to submit to that. When she makes a rule that the shoes come off at the front door then the husband should comply. 

When she serves dinner at a certain time, then he should be there, of course she takes into account the family needs and acts accordingly.

She is a busy, capable woman who makes many decisions on her own without her husbands consent, even buying a field without him. 

The  slavery mentality  toward women, that has been brewing since the 70's has been an over reaction to the feminist movement.  We don't have to over react, we can know the Word, obey it and forget about pushing back by making rules that God never intended.

I have been oppressed myself by those who think that I should ask my husband what color to paint a room or anything else in the household.  He knows that it is my job to decorate, I take into account his tastes too, but I do not consult with him when I want to paint a room.

Often he comes home to something new or changed.  God says in Proverbs, "her husband safely trusts her", because she has been proven to be capable.  My husband would be upset if I bothered him with every detail of the home, as it is he gets to come home after working hard all day and sees that everything is done, he has no need to work at home too, except in a case where something is too hard or heavy for me.

We need to stop reading these cultic style marriage books written as an over reaction and begin just seeking God. 

Read Proverbs 31, in that passage the woman is very busy, capable in her own right, alleviates the pressure of the home on her husband by making decisions so he does not have to make. 

It is a relief to my husband that he does not have to make decisions on things that do not interest him, such as decorating, dishes for the kitchen, hair style, clothing style or floor and window coverings. He enjoys them when they are done, but does not want to do the job of deciding them.

I chose all the furniture in our house, I took into account his likes as well as my own, but he never saw it until it arrived at our door, he was very pleased and thankful he did not have to go furniture shopping and he enjoyed my choices.

We can see all these principles for caring for the home in Proverbs 31, no where in that passage does God say to be sure and consult with your husband before doing any of it. 

In our case my husband is in charge of the finances because he is good at it, I know of other marriages where the husband is not interested in the book keeping and it has been given to the wife because she is proficient in it.  There is no scripture that says that the man is to be in charge of the finances.  Whoever is gifted in this area should be the one to manage it.

The man is the leader in spiritual and political matters, that is his calling and the wife is to help him become successful in that, by her conduct at home and her community activities. 

God says in Proverbs that the husband is respected in the city gates because of the efficiency and wisdom of his wife.  A wife can make or break a husband by not doing well in the things God has given her to do, such as homemaking, hospitality, charity work as well as helping him in his profession if need be. 

Any feminist who thinks that homemaking is nothing important,  is ignorant of the duties of the homemaker and the power that she has over her entire household.  A man will do better in business when he has a capable woman taking care of things at home, while being available to help her husband in his job and ministry. 

The feminist movement has produced two things, the first thing is very selfish and demanding woman on the one hand and on the other hand the Christian women who over react and become robotic mindless slaves who don't know how to manage anything.  They have been relieved of their brain in favor of indentured servitude, almost resembling the mentality of the Muslim woman. 

God is not a God of oppression but freedom, within His principles we can be highly skilled, wise, giving and a servant to all, of our own free choice.  If our husbands follow the Proverbs 31 model, they will not only be blessed by it, but will enjoy their accomplished and confident wife, a companion and confidant.

May the Lord show Christian women His way, not the way of human thinking or over reactive ideas.