I have been researching the matter of rejection and what it causes in people who have been left out of things or ignored. It can cause very serious emotional lifelong damage, however, in Christ we have the ability to overcome it with prayer and Bible reading. God has so much encouragement for those who follow hard after Christ and are rejected for it.
If I had not known the verses in the Bible about the rejection of those who bring the truth of Christ to the unsaved, I might be tempted to think that I was a nut case, unworthy of anyone's love.
What I discovered in my study is that, without Christ, those who are treated with disdain in family situations, can become mentally unstable with life long malities that seem impossible to get rid of.
All the information I read, from secular psychologists and even Christian psychologists made claims that if we "do" certain things we will be able to pull ourselves up by our boot straps and carry on a normal life, choosing for ourselves those who might love us.
I felt sad that these "do" things were also seemingly impossible, since we are not able to control the responses of others, we can "do" whatever, but if the response that comes back is more rejection, then we have accomplished nothing except further sadness and depression. Since it is human nature to choose to be friendly to those that look good on the outside, are in style with their clothing, engage in all the party trappings and never challenge anyone, we can expect that manipulative ploys don't work unless we meet all the other criteria for being accepted.
God commanded us in His Word to obey HIS commandments, which include walking away from those who do not want our message.
Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things through Him who strengthens me."
We are capable of obeying God no matter what the circumstances, but through Him and not of our own devices.
The focus of the psychologists, was building your own self esteem rather than developing a closer walk with Christ.
Philippians 2:3 "Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves;"
Matthew 6:33 "But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you."
When we seek to be acceptable to others by our manipulative ploys, we are setting ourselves up for failure. People do not respond the way we want them to and they are, at times, able to see through our disguise, not to mention the dishonesty of people and perception management through manipulation.
When the acceptance of people becomes our goal, then we have lost the battle. The goal of the believer should be to please God, grow in holiness and leave the decision of our companions to Him. There is much to say in the scriptures about those we choose to spend time with.
Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things through Him who strengthens me."
Those who have lived a life of rejection know that no matter what they it do, does not necessarily bring positive results. When we are dealing with a fallen world, a Christianity that looks more like a club full of beautiful people who are concerned more about fitting in than they do about Christ, we are left with a social organization that promotes popularity rather than holiness, no amount of manipulation will cause these people to live as they should, they must hear the truth of God's Word, that will reveal what is in their hearts.
Those who seek to manipulate their victims to be accepted by them, don't realize they are being dishonest. When we "play act" to win others, we are effectively lying to them. We are leading them to believe we love them, when in reality, we love ourselves and desire to be elevated in their eyes.
Love is not necessarily making others "feel good", that can happen when we show God's love, but there are times when love is discipline or correction. Correction and discipline are the most neglected and even denied forms of love on the planet today.
Verses about disobedience and discipline:
Acts 17:11-13, Deuteronomy 21:18-21, 1 Samuel 15:23, 1 Corinthians 5:1-13, Proverbs 23:13-14, Colossians 3, 1 John 3:4-5.
Remember when you are rejected because you wanted to obey God, you are not only, not alone, in terms of others who have been, but you have Christ living in you that has not rejected you, but accepted you fully because you trusted in His shed blood on the cross.
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