As believers our friendships are based on mutual help, counsel and concern for one another in Christ.
Philippians 2:1-5 "1 If there be therefore any consolation in Christ, if any comfort of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any bowels and mercies,
2 Fulfil ye my joy, that ye be like minded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind.
3 Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.
4 Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.
5 Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus:"
When there is an attitude of superiority demonstrated in a friendship, it becomes a parent/child relationships not based on equality but rather based on one person continually seeking to be controller of the friendship activities, even perspectives, in essence devaluing the person who is deemed to be inferior. The slightest wart or flaw in the friend will be blown out of proportion even to the point of continual and intense degradation, maligning of a reputation while embellishing events.
The very nature of a friendship disallows the use of manipulation, coercion and covert intimidation to achieve a personal goal. There is no malice in a true friendship only deep love, concern and empathy. One is not required to be "perfect" in a true friendship. The depth of love will transcend difficulties with the hope of helping to work all things out together, in Christ!
John 15:12-15 “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you."
God told us to love as He loved. How did God love? He loved by sending His Son to die for others. No friendship can be close unless both parties are willing to extend themselves when it is not always comfortable to do so, when it may be inconvenient. A true friend demonstrates concern and empathy while desiring to understand things they may not understand.
A true friendship will assume the best when they see something that they question, but go even further than assuming the best, they ask their friend to explain what they saw, to be able to be an encouragement in time of difficulty.
If a true friend knows their dear one is in sin, they confront it with the desire to help restore their friend to Christlikeness. They do this through prayer and encouragement to forsake their sin.
Proverbs 27:6 "Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful."
Assuming evil when we don't have the whole story show pettiness and even jealousy, a propensity to embrace gossip, enjoying the possibility of sin in the one for which we have contempt. No friendship can withstand the pitfalls of narcissistic selfishness. No relationships can hold up under constant criticism for no other reason than self aggrandizement.
Proverbs 18:24 "24 A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother."
When we see that the friendship is based on nothing other than one party controlling and manipulating the other, then it is time to exit the relationship, moving on to healthier ones that glorify God. God can take care of the pitiful narcissist in His own way. Narcissists do not listen and almost always fight and argue to silence those who would try to help them. In 2 Timothy 3 we are told to remove ourselves from these people, only God can reach them.
2 Timothy 3:1-7
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