Narcissists love to make judgements about others based not on things they have seen but on insignificant events interpreted the way they want to see them rather than on substance and reality.
If a narcissists has been injured through criticism, no matter how minor, they will develop in their minds attitudes and events they never saw but assumed based on their desire to negate their target.
It is quite uncanny to watch these self elevated narcissists do their dastardly work.
When they have convinced themselves that something is true about another person, without tangible evidence, they will speak these things to others as though they are fact, producing allies through this triangulation.
If a narcissists has been injured through criticism, no matter how minor, they will develop in their minds attitudes and events they never saw but assumed based on their desire to negate their target.
It is quite uncanny to watch these self elevated narcissists do their dastardly work.
When they have convinced themselves that something is true about another person, without tangible evidence, they will speak these things to others as though they are fact, producing allies through this triangulation.
When the target senses something is wrong and attempts to talk about it, the narcissist will claim there is nothing wrong and continue to treat the target in covertly demeaning ways to show their contempt for them, while still being able to pretend they did or said nothing wrong. They never do their covert acts in front of others, they always wait until there is no one else around to witness the acts and attitudes.
These tactics are used for many reasons, some of which are jealousy, a real or perceived injury, a response of "no" when asked to do something, the targets choice not to engage in something the way a narcissist expect you to engage and other things that really have little to do with anything the target is doing, but rather the need for the narc to control their target, when the target is strong enough to stand against the controlling behavior the narc becomes vengeful.
The good news is that when we know what we are dealing with we can acquire the skills to deal with it in a Christ-like manner. AND NO, we do not "turn the other cheek" when the abuse someone is experiencing is continual, we also do not negate the pain another brother or sister may be experiencing by saying silly things like "just love them." What narcissists need is discipline, removal of their friends and abused extended family and lots of prayer that God will get through that hard rock heart, turning it into a heart of flesh. God does not need us to remain in a wicked person's life to influence them for God, often He wants us to exact consequences on them by removing ourselves while allowing God to do what He knows they need for their repentance.
1 2 Timothy 3 God clearly commands us to get away from wicked people.
These tactics are used for many reasons, some of which are jealousy, a real or perceived injury, a response of "no" when asked to do something, the targets choice not to engage in something the way a narcissist expect you to engage and other things that really have little to do with anything the target is doing, but rather the need for the narc to control their target, when the target is strong enough to stand against the controlling behavior the narc becomes vengeful.
The good news is that when we know what we are dealing with we can acquire the skills to deal with it in a Christ-like manner. AND NO, we do not "turn the other cheek" when the abuse someone is experiencing is continual, we also do not negate the pain another brother or sister may be experiencing by saying silly things like "just love them." What narcissists need is discipline, removal of their friends and abused extended family and lots of prayer that God will get through that hard rock heart, turning it into a heart of flesh. God does not need us to remain in a wicked person's life to influence them for God, often He wants us to exact consequences on them by removing ourselves while allowing God to do what He knows they need for their repentance.
1 2 Timothy 3 God clearly commands us to get away from wicked people.
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