So often we "major on the minors and minor on the majors", thinking that our way is the only way, even though the other ways are not sin nor are they bad, they are just different from how we might do or say things.
Without all the evidence, without all the conversations and without all knowledge of motives, we throw one another under the bus because we don't see all that someone else might see. We take offense easily allowing our egos to dictate our responses, not considering others.
We arrogantly believe we see enough to have all knowledge when the fact remains that we only see in part through someone else's testimony, not even having been an eye witness ourselves we make a judgement.
It is vitally important to speak the truth when we have some knowledge, when more has come to light, then we must be willing to admit we didn't have everything we needed to make a wise evaluation.
One of the earmarks of a godly Christian is that they are slow to make judgments about situations with little knowledge. We should understand that even as an eye witness we may not have enough to assess the true nature of any given situation. This is why openness and dialogue are vital to any relationship. When there is stonewalling, reluctance to be honest and transparent, there can be no closeness nor can anything be resolved to reconcile a relationship.
In order to reconcile, both parties must seek to discover the heart of the other, only then will we be able to live in understanding with another person.
Often gossip mongers make a choice to believe something based on their personal prejudices toward someone or their first impressions rather than on facts.
We must remember that a family of individuals does not seek the elevation of only one of the individuals, the whole is the concern, each one has influence on one another. When two do not reconcile it translates into misunderstandings among all the others. People begin to take sides when one relationship is not mended. When truth is not sought then lies grow, often to the destruction of the others.
Galatians 5:7-15 "7 You were running well; who hindered you from obeying the truth?
8 This persuasion did not come from Him who calls you.
9 A little leaven leavens the whole lump of dough.
10 I have confidence in you in the Lord that you will adopt no other view; but the one who is disturbing you will bear his judgment, whoever he is.
11 But I, brethren, if I still preach circumcision, why am I still persecuted? Then the stumbling block of the cross has been abolished.
12 I wish that those who are troubling you would even mutilate themselves.
13 For you were called to freedom, brethren; only do not turn your freedom into an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.
14 For the whole Law is fulfilled in one word, in the statement, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”
15 But if you bite and devour one another, take care that you are not consumed by one another."
Most of the squabbles and fights I have seen that could not be resolved, have been among those who would not be honest and who would not lovingly talk to or listen to the one for which they had a grievance. And, most of all one or both of the parties would not pray seeking God for the solution. When we refuse to go before the Lord to discover our own hearts, there can be no resolution, no growth and no reconciliation.
Matthew 5:23-24 ""Therefore if you are presenting your offering at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your offering there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your offering."
Those who are guilty generally know they are, they are the ones who will not come to the table to work things out.
Those who are guilty but are unsure of their offense, will often come to work out a solution when someone else cares enough to approach them.
Those who are not guilty, have prayed and sought God for their own heart, are always willing to speak and listen for a resolution of any problem.
Which are we going to be, one who seeks God to show us our own heart or those who hold onto pride choosing to believe they do no wrong, elevated in their own eyes?
Proverbs 3:7 "Do not be wise in your own eyes; Fear the LORD and turn away from evil."
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