Honor God and Others

"A little boy was commanded to sit down by his father, the little boy with boldness and contempt in his voice stated clearly, 'I am sitting down on the outside but standing up on the inside.'"

How many people do what they think is expected of them to get along in the culture, while holding contempt for others. Love expects nothing in return as well as a desire to please the one to which we give.

Luke 6:34-36 "…34 And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, expecting to be repaid in full. 35 But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them, expecting nothing in return. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High; for He is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. 36 Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.…"

I suspect many people are giving gifts out of obligation or expecting a return of something they want. The reason for this suspicion is that our culture is becoming more and more lawless as more laws are removed and permissiveness is elevated to a "I have rights" status we are seeing the rebellion that was once only in the heart emerging into actions.

I probably couldn't count the number of times I have encountered people who expressed dismay at having to get a Christmas present for someone because they drew their name in a hat at an office or family party. They really didn't want to have to give to that person, but did it to please onlookers.

I really hate obligatory gifts and so does God. When we give, it ought to be because we feel a love and kinship to someone, not to be able to say to someone else, "I gave them a gift", for purposes of appearances.

I once received a gift from a woman who was aggravated at me for the way I used that gift. I would have rather not received it at all than to have the burden of how they were going to treat me because I didn't use it the way they wanted me to. There were many instances in my life like this, having come from a narcissistic family environment, extended family as well as close family. Let me tell you the story.

An older woman gave me a picture of a vase of flowers, it was a print in a metal frame, that one would purchase at Walmart. I have no problem shopping at Walmart myself, although it was alright, it didn't fit with my colors or the room decor in general.

The woman asked me to take down an expensive grouping of our family portraits from above the couch that were taken at a photo studio. The pictures were arranged over our prominent couch in our living room. I bought the couch to coordinate with the photo array. Her request to remove my expensive photos, that were the centerpiece of the entire room, was shocking to me.

The woman lived in a beautiful home with expensive drapes, real oil paintings and everything in the house was high quality, she would not have put in her house the poster she bought for me.

I was not upset about the poster and it's metal frame, it just didn't fit in my living room with a completely different color scheme and quality of items. Since the poster was kind of large it had to have a large wall, so I chose to put it in the long hall way off of the living room, anyone going to and from the bathrooms or bedrooms would see it.

Later I heard the woman complaining to her husband that I had not placed it where she told me to, sounding as though I had done something wrong or evil.

These sort of encounters are really set ups. When someone knows you went to some effort and expense to make a room the way you like it, then come into your home suggesting to do something different, not even the way they would do it in their own home, I have to believe they wanted to ruin what you have done, otherwise they would never have suggested to undo your decorating to follow their desires.

There are so many things to think about here. Why give a poster and tell the receiver where to put it while choosing the most expensive family portraits to eliminate in favor of the poster?

One thought might be that the giver was setting up the receiver to have to say no to the poster placement, in order to be able to tell others, "she didn't like my gift", which was not true at all. I used it, I just didn't put it where she wanted it.

It has never crossed my mind where someone places a gift I give to them. Once it has been given it no longer exists in my mind, it is theirs now to do with as they please, most of the time I don't even remember what I gave.

The same woman that gave me the poster, had at times returned gifts I had given her because they weren't exactly what she wanted. I felt good with that, why would I care that she traded it for something she liked, after all, isn't that the point of gift giving, that is to please the one receiving it.

Gifts are far too often used as manipulations to create an obligation or a source of pride in oneself to feel that the duty was done or to impress others that they might be praised. Gifts often are also used to create unnecessary drama. We want to please others, however when unreasonable requests are placed on us, we are not obligated to obey them, we can graciously decline to do things the way others want, while thanking them for their gift.

Manipulators will take advantage of those who they know have a sensitive heart. It is good to know, that although we show hospitality and kindness, we are not under responsibility to do everything someone else wants us to do.

A kind and loving person seeks to enhance our lives the way we choose, when it has nothing to do with sin.

Philippians 2:3-4 "3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or empty pride, but in humility consider others more important than yourselves. 4 Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.…"

Don't we do this with God? We do things for Him that He never asked us to do, that do not please Him, thinking we have done a great thing. We do things our own way, ignoring how God told us to do them, believing we are very special for it, even angry with God that He didn't bless it as we expected, perhaps it doesn't work out the way we told God it must.

Isaiah 55:9 "…8 "For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways," declares the LORD. 9 "For as the heavens are higher than the earth, So are My ways higher than your ways And My thoughts than your thoughts."

Hosea 10:13-14 "13 You have plowed wickedness, you have reaped injustice, You have eaten the fruit of lies. Because you have trusted in your way, in your numerous warriors, 14 Therefore a tumult will arise among your people, And all your fortresses will be destroyed, As Shalman destroyed Beth-arbel on the day of battle, When mothers were dashed in pieces with their children.…"

Isaiah 30:1-3 "1 "Woe to the rebellious children," declares the LORD, "Who execute a plan, but not Mine, And make an alliance, but not of My Spirit, In order to add sin to sin; 2 Who proceed down to Egypt Without consulting Me, To take refuge in the safety of Pharaoh And to seek shelter in the shadow of Egypt! 3 "Therefore the safety of Pharaoh will be your shame And the shelter in the shadow of Egypt, your humiliation.…"

When we focus on Christ first, it will be continually in our mind what pleases Him and then what is a blessing to others. Does this sort of sounds familiar to those who knows the Word of God?

Matthew 22:36-40
36 “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?” 37 And He said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ 38 This is the great and foremost commandment. 39 The second is like it, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ 40 On these two commandments depend the whole Law and the Prophets.”