We saw this when a bakery business was targeted for not baking a cake for a homosexual couple. Even though they were merely standing for their own personal convictions, doing no harm to the customers. They were raged at so effectively that they were forced out of business.
The new pressure that has been placed on North Carolina for not allowing transvestites to use women's bathrooms, is another form of narcissistic abuse.
We see this in families when grandparents are not allowed to see their grandchildren over silly and petty disagreements. When adult children withhold love and companionship to cause grief in their parents. Or mock, demean and attempt to control them, showing their contempt for them through devaluing their wisdom.
Narcissists will attempt to make laws such as "hate speech" legislation that punishes those who speak against their mandated ideas. We are not even allowed to say what we believe without being punished for it, this same mentality is pervasive now in our culture in every aspect of life. In politics, in families, in school and even in church. The leaders of these entities have made themselves gods to be worshiped and there is a price to be paid for anyone who does not bow to their authority. Anyone who places God above everyone else, will be made to feel wrong or bad in the attempt to obey God first.
Bakers cannot express their opinion in their own business, women cannot express theirs in the use of their public bathrooms, homosexuals will punish demean and mock anyone who will not praise them for their lifestyle. Parents are not allowed to express their own opinions without retaliation from adult children.
Even if we live our own life, leave them alone and merely express verbally or the written word our own views, we are treated with contempt as though we have no right to our beliefs.
We are expected to be carbon copies of the narcissist, they require unquestioning admiration to them without any form of correction or instruction allowed. Seems a little like worshiping a false god doesn't it. Only these false gods are not dead idols, they are living, breathing human beings who have an ability to make life miserable for anyone who dares to think with their own mind and act as they see fit.
Narcissists characteristics:
They demean those they cannot control, loss of control over someone else makes them angry. Their response to this will cause greater attempts to bring down the one they despise. Even lying against them in an effort to turn others to their side, when they cannot control them, they get others to help in the task.
They criticize anyone who thinks for themselves, they cannot stand that someone else might know more than they do or believe differently, they must feel superior. Their targets are always wrong in their eyes, they can do nothing right without the narcissists input.
They have no sense of respect for the boundaries of others, they make the rules for others, even if they don't live with them, if their standards or rules are not followed, they begin their tactics of demeaning, mocking and isolating.
They judge others over insignificant matters, twisting things to make the target look bad when they did good. There is an anxiety in the narc when others do well, it makes them feel less. Most of us are happy for others when they do well, not the narcissist, it is a source of agitation for someone to be happy, healthy and confident.
Their anger is not based on truth, but on their twisted perceptions.
They don't like to be polite, it places them in a subordinate position. When we defer to others we are submitting to them, narcissists hate this. It is why I don't believe they are born again. How can someone submit to someone they cannot see(God), when they cannot submit to someone they can see in obedience to God.
Ephesians 5:21 "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ."
Narcissists must feel superior to others, they are a legend in their own mind, everyone must fawn over them for them to feel significant. It is never enough for the narcissist to be satisfied with their own accomplishments, they must be elevated, validated and rewarded by others. Anyone who does not do this, will be treated with contempt.
Philippians 2:3 "Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves;"
They hold petty grudges when they don't get their own way, much like a spoiled child having a tantrum. They will retaliate in vengeful ways in an attempt to get or keep a target in a one down position. They are never happier than when they can make someone who is confident and happy, miserable.
Romans 12:10 "Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor."
Thankfully we can learn the skills to keep ourselves healthy in spite of the antics of the narcissist. The "experts" in our culture are beginning to admit that this nasty phenomena of total self love, is growing leaps and bounds as the next generation has been raised to fight for their rights, love themselves above all others and reject all forms of authority.
Appearances are very important to the narcissist. They must appear more beautiful and more physically fit than others. They are often absorbed in their appearance, the cloths they wear must be in style, their bodies must be skinny and in shape, their need to have the best of everything, in homes and food are all a part of the persona of their absolute perfection. And, they cannot associate with anyone who does not hold to their standard of perfection in their own lives. They only have superficially beautiful people around them, others are not welcome.
John 7:24 "24 Stop judging by outward appearances, and start judging justly.”
Ephesians 3:16 "16 I pray that out of the riches of His glory, He may strengthen you with power through His Spirit in your inner being,"
Matthew 23:27-28
"Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs which on the outside appear beautiful, but inside they are full of dead men's bones and all uncleanness. "So you, too, outwardly appear righteous to men, but inwardly you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness.
You might ask why I spend so much time on this subject? The answer is this, since this mess mentioned in 2 Timothy 3 is growing exponentially, we are going to have to recognize it and gain the skills necessary to handle it.
Narcissists are very hard to reach for Christ because they are too busy worshiping self, however, God can reach some of them through difficulties that He brings that will remove their pride and arrogance. God will never override their free will, He will however bring circumstances to bear on them that make them see the depravity of their own souls. The solution for them is to take away their confidence in self, realizing their need to be cleansed by Christ is the ONLY solution.
Just as many people hear the gospel and reject it, so will the narcissists. There are though, some of them that will hear and respond, those are the ones for which we pray and to whom we speak.
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