Sociopaths and Communication

Amen, this is very true!

Communication & the Functional Sociopath
By William Polowniak, Ph.D.

"Fritz Perls a famous Jewish psychotherapist known for his founding of Gestalt therapy once said that refusal to communicate is the most toxic human behavior. I am convinced that he is right. Refusal to communicate really means refusal to listen and to enter into dialogue especially when we disagree. Usually people who refuse to communicate live their lives as “functional sociopaths.” That is, they are self-centered, they do as they please with total disregard for others and they indulge in subterfuge, self-delusion and see themselves as persecuted. Their delusions of self-persecution cause them to become angry manipulators."

How many times have you attempted to communicate with someone to resolve a matter and they practiced stonewalling, refusing to engage in dialogue. There is nothing more anyone can do when someone will not talk or listen in order to respect the other party, loving them to discern their perspective. Hiding is a favored tactic of those who cannot admit their part in a relationship dilemma.

Dialogue is for the purpose of resolution, narcissists don't care about resolving a matter they merely want to win to appear superior. If they think they cannot win, they refuse to engage. There is the mentality of a six year old who is going to take his ball and go home if the game is not going his way.

May anyone reading this who has a problem with being corrected or instructed because of pride, please remember that confession of sin and the resolving of a problem in a relationship takes an attitude of being willing to admit their sin, it is a cleansing process that is well worth it. So many narcissists walk around with guilt because instead of confessing, being cleansed and moving on, they must continually justify with excuse making, their actions. They are never cleansed, they don't grow and they don't restore relationships.

God desires relationships to be restored, even to Himself, but confession is required for that to happen. Those who walk closely with Christ know when they have done wrong, Christ in them tells them. They do not rest until they have made it right. Those that resist the conviction of the Holy Spirit will suffer continual guilt, the more they resist the greater the discipline from God. The longer they resist the greater the chance for a bitter and hardened heart. Bitterness and anger often physically ages those that are plagued by these things. Confession brings healing, pride causes brokenness in any relationship.

Hebrews 12:5-6 "…5 And you have forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons: “My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, or lose heart when He rebukes you. 6 For the Lord disciplines the one He loves, and He chastises everyone He receives as a son.”

Ephesians 4:31 "Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamor, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:"

Hebrews 12:15 "Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled;"

James 3:14 "But if you have bitter envying and strife in your hearts, glory not, and lie not against the truth."

1 John 2:9 "He that said he is in the light, and hates his brother, is in darkness even until now."

John 16:33 - "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."

Psalm 51:10 - "Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me"

Proverbs 28:13 - "Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper, but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy"

Ephesians 4:26 - "In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry"

Colossians 3:13 - "Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you."

Ephesians 4:31 - "Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice."

Ephesians 3:17-19 - "And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord's holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God."