The narcissist makes it impossible to have a conversation. All communication is a contest that turns into a fight, rather than seeking understanding of the message of the other person.
It is impossible to work out solutions, the narcissist is continually bent on getting their own way. They never seek compromise, every negotiation is a battle to be won.
Witnessing this competitiveness with narcissists, I notice that they will demand things their own way without communication, but when forced to communicate they will give in to appear the martyr. Allowing the other person to have their way, they will not be supportive in any way for the activity. It is a sort of "my way or your way", but if we allow your way, you will be punished and they will not participate. Never is it a matter of discussion to meet anyone half way so that the matter becomes "our way."
I actually had a woman say to me on the phone one time in a friendly conversation, upon ending the conversation, she said, "talk at you later." I suppose she thought that was cute, but it revealed a great deal about her. She didn't realize that this is what she was doing. Narcissist don't engage in back and forth conversation, they talk at us, but will not engage with us when we speak.
Through the entire conversation I never felt that she heard anything I said, but spoke continually herself. I responded to her remarks with enthusiasm, but when it was my turn to talk she acted completely disinterested without response.
There are narcissists who practice withholding, they don't share anything, out of fear that they will be discovered. When they get information from others they tend to judge everything based on their own particular habits, leaving them thinking that others will judge them. In short the narcissist believes others are doing what they are doing, but the others are not.
Conversations and interaction with a narcissist are agonizing, seldom do they show real interest in anyone else, their desires, their hopes or calamities.
All conversations with narcissists are based on their acquiring a sense of glee from their superiority. No conversation has value to them except to make themselves the center of attention. Even their simulated displays of concern are very brief, lacking emotion that comes with empathy and very robotic in nature. They are embarrassed when we show genuine emotion, in their mind it is weakness worthy of contempt.
Narcissists seek out for their friends those who will fawn over them the way a fan fawns over an idol. As soon as a friend is transparent and genuine, realizing what they are dealing with, the narcissist will employ the silent treatment to demean their friend, to cause insecurity and return them to the fawning stage. Narcissists cannot tolerate transparency, it frightens them, they are prone to lie frequently to make things appear the way they want them to be rather than the way they are in reality.
Ephesians 4:25 "Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another."
2 Corinthians 1:12 "For our boast is this, the testimony of our conscience, that we behaved in the world with simplicity and godly sincerity, not by earthly wisdom but by the grace of God, and supremely so toward you."
John 3:19-20 "And this is the judgment: the light has come into the world, and people loved the darkness rather than the light because their works were evil. For everyone who does wicked things hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his works should be exposed."
Ephesians 4:17-26 "17 Now this I say and testify in the Lord, that you must no longer walk as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their minds.
18 They are darkened in their understanding, alienated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them, due to their hardness of heart.
19 They have become callous and have given themselves up to sensuality, greedy to practice every kind of impurity.
20 But that is not the way you learned Christ!—
21 assuming that you have heard about him and were taught in him, as the truth is in Jesus,
22 to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires,
23 and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds,
24 and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.
25 Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another. 26 Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, 27 and give no opportunity to the devil."
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