Proverbs 21:24 "24"Proud," "Haughty," "Scoffer," are his names, Who acts with insolent pride."
The secular word for this trait is "narcissism", taken from Greek mythology describing a young man named "Narcissus", who looked into a pool of water, seeing his reflection, he fell in love with himself. While I do not look to Greek mythology to justify a belief in something, in this case it describes the heart of the secular man without Christ, with the same traits God presents in the Bible.
2 Timothy 3:1-5
"3 But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come.
2 For men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy,
3 unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good,
4 treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God,
5 holding to a form of godliness, although they have denied its power; Avoid such men as these."
Back in the 1970's I had arguments with narcissists who were deeply invested in the teaching of "self esteem", and sadly these self esteem advocates were those who referred to themselves as "Evangelical Christians."
I was a new believer back then, reading my Bible as though my life depended on it, and so it did. It was the Bible that taught me that love of self was a problem not a virtue. So the question arises, "why did so many Evangelicals believe self esteem was important." Perhaps the answer lies in their own attitude, perhaps they wanted to love themselves above others. Personal promotion was a dominant trait among those I had contact with often. The "Evangelicals" wanted to fit in with what the schools were teaching, so they ignored the Bible they were reading to follow after man's wisdom. The Catholic church did this many times down through the centuries, incorporating paganism into their dogma to be inclusive. Somehow I think this same thing happened to the "Evangelicals", and they don't know it.
1 Corinthians 1:25 "25 For the foolishness of God is wiser than man’s wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man’s strength."
1 Corinthians 3:19 "19 For the wisdom of this world is foolishness in God’s sight. As it is written: “He catches the wise in their craftiness.”
It wasn't until years later I realized what was going on, that is that, most Christians back in the day were never born again, deeply involved in loving themselves, interested only in appearing superior to others, they brought a false gospel of self love to the Evangelical church. We can no longer trust "Evagelicalism", it has become synonymous with self exaltation.
Now we have a full blown epidemic of self love permeating the church gatherings, causing false doctrine to become the norm while the truth of the gospel is spurned as mean spirited because of it's tendency to make people feel convicted and sad.
I heard in past years, a phrase that came out of the Bible colleges and seminaries, which is "we must say things in a way that they will be received." If this were true then Christ and the apostles must have done something wrong, they were all persecuted by those who refused to hear. This is the very thinking that has destroyed the gospel in the churches. We do not do things so people will like us, we know the Word of God and speak as led by the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit has been left out of things in the "Evangelical" church in favor of man's devices.
We do not say and do things so people will like us, we say and do things as led by the Spirit of God and leave the results to Him. If someone rages at us, they are raging at Christ in us. Their rebellion against Him is their problem. Whether or not they like us is irrelevant.
1 Corinthians 3:5-7 "…5 What then is Apollos? And what is Paul? They are servants through whom you believed, as the Lord has assigned to each his role. 6 I planted the seed and Apollos watered it, but God made it grow. 7 So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow.…"
If our goal is to be liked by the world then we are a part of the world. If our goal is to be appreciated and elevated by others, then we will water down the gospel to please the hearer, it will not be the gospel at all but a false gospel.
Mark 13:12-13 "…12 Brother will betray brother to death, and a father his child. Children will rise against their parents and have them put to death. 13 You will be hated by everyone on account of My name, but the one who perseveres to the end will be saved."
John 15:18-20 "18 If the world hates you, understand that it hated Me first. 19 If you were of the world, it would love you as its own. Instead, the world hates you, because you are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. 20 Remember the word that I spoke to you: ‘No servant is greater than his master.’ If they persecuted Me, they will persecute you as well; if they kept My word, they will keep yours as well.…"
Let me tell you, the gospel is suppose to make people sad, if they do not become saddened over their own sin, so much so that they want to be changed by Christ into a new creation, then they will and most have become Christians in title only.
It is only brokenness over our sinfulness that will cause God to save us from ourselves and hell. Without that brokenness and confession of sin, joining a Christian gathering only serves to bring arrogance and pride to the soul of the unregenerate, causing self promotion and personal aggrandizement.
Those who join a gathering when they have not been changed into a new creation, intensify their pride and self righteousness. I have seen more of this in my lifetime than I have seen genuine love for Christ and for the brethren.
It is common for narcissists to become proud of themselves for "not doing" or "not being" something, when the reality is that they are the things they claim they are not. They are committed to saying they are the very thing they are not. They are also committed to saying they are not the very thing they are. Words, in their mind are enough, the actual living out of what they say does not have to happen as long as they can convince others through words.
John 7:24 "24 Stop judging by outward appearances, and start judging justly.”"
We know these people well when they are challenged, even in the mildest forms, to evaluate something about themselves, they argue and rage to defend themselves. This is not the response of a godly humble believer. A person who loves the Lord more than life itself, will evaluate a challenge, respond to it in gentleness and even admit openly and honestly their own failings.
I have been blessed to have known a few tried and true genuine born again believers since my transformation in the 70's, but sadly, few. It breaks my heart as I watch those around me glory in their own self exaltation in order to appear on the outside, something that does not exist on the inside.
If there is no brokenness over sin there is no salvation, it's just that simple. We know when there has been brokenness because of the fruit of the Spirit that will be present continually, not a coming and going or display of righteousness from time to time, there will be a steady living out of the fruit continually. If there is a slight that others bring to their attention, the born again believer feels badly and apologizes. The full blown narcissist can never do this. If a born again believer is falsely accused, they speak the truth to correct the problem and remain steady and calm.
Those who are given to rage and arguing are demonstrating their guilty conscience, if not over the thing they have been challenged about, at least something else in their lives.
Galatians 5:22-23
"22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law."
There are many people who would tell you themselves that they possess this fruit, but at closer inspection, they are not present in their lives.
Narcissists have a tendency to claim bad things about others they they themselves possess. The devil is the one behind this, in order to demolish the soul of the one who loves Christ, He will use the narcissist to cause doubt in the believer, removing their boldness, diminishing the godly traits by causing the target to become more like the narcissist out of frustration. We must resist all attempts on the part of the narc to cause us to falter in our faith.
1 Peter 5:7-9 "…7 Cast all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you. 8 Be sober-minded and alert. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. 9 Resist him, standing firm in your faith and in the knowledge that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kinds of suffering.…"
Another trait present in the lives of born again believers is a deep love of the brethren. There can not be this love when there is brutal and constant demonstration of competition to appear holier than others. Often this manifests itself in the form of demeaning others who do not elevate the narcissist and who do not adhere to their humanistic rules. Many people in the church pridefully make rules for others to follow that Christ never commanded, thinking this appearance of self righteousness is enough, actual righteousness in Christ is not very important, as long as these self appointed judges appear to be outwardly righteous.
1 John 3:13-15 "…13 So do not be surprised, brothers, if the world hates you. 14 We know that we have passed from death to life, because we love our brothers. The one who does not love remains in death. 15 Everyone who hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that eternal life does not reside in a murderer.…"
Those who are deeply controlled by insolent pride, do not love the brethren, they merely want to be elevated by the brethren. When the brethren does not elevate their status to "special", then those who do not, will be demeaned, dismissed, ignored and even gossiped about to destroy them. There are many narcissists in the pulpits of America, they love the control, the adulation and adoration of their underlings so much so that they are resistant to any form of correction or discipline on the part of those whom they see as beneath them.
So often when this verse in John 7 is used, it is used to describe those who judge clothing, but in fact it has to do with the outward displays of righteousness that are not present in the inner soul of a man. As believers we need to stop judging others as wonderful and righteous simply because they do all the right things we think they should do, or the things they say, but watch their life overall. There must also be the ceasing of judging others merely because they "appear" to lack something we think they should have", that is not even mentioned in the Word.
If everything is evaluated by the Word of God, there will not be this competition to be better than others.
We love all the brethren, we treat with honor and respect all of the brethren, but no one is more special than someone else. Everyone has the gifts given to them by Christ, the glory goes to Christ not the person to whom He gave them.
Romans 3:10-11 "10 As it is written: “There is no one righteous, not even one; 11 There is no one who understands; no one who seeks God.…"
A true born again believer will be uncomfortable with "special" status or superficial praise. A true born again believer is satisfied with fellowship with others around the Word of God and agreement on the principles of Christ. Not only is there no need to be seen as special, there is an aversion to it.
Never be embarrassed to speak the principles of Christ openly, no matter who is present or what you believe the response might be. If the Holy Spirit moves us to say or do something, then He alone is the One we are accountable to, no other.
Let us keep in mind that all this narcissism in the church is from the father of lies, who is controlling the hearts and minds of pretenders in the church today. Many pretenders are in the pulpits, loving their elevated status, even willing to defend it to the harm of those in the body. These types are Pharisees amongst us.
James 4:7
"7 Submit therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you."
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