Trained by Our Environment

When we have been trained all our lives through certain stimuli, it is very difficult to think something differently even when truth corrects erroneous thinking.

This is the reason people are so often resistant to change or correction.

When a child has been trained all his life that he is special and superior to others, it is nearly impossible to get them to listen when there is correction or rebuke needed.

Just as a child who has been trained all their life by continual demeaning, there is difficulty seeing themselves in truth as a person with abilities and accomplishments.

The more children are trained to think of themselves as special above others the less likely they are to succeed in life. Their elevated view of their own importance will always lead them to believe they should have the top position in a company even though they have done nothing to demonstrate their abilities.

We have done the children of this country a disservice by praising them ad nauseam. Far too many parents think they are "encouraging" their children with excessive praise. I witnessed an older child showing his own disgust when his parent was praising him for tying his shoes when he had been doing it for several years. Even the children begin to disrespect a parent when they are what I call "sickly sweet."

The demeaned and mocked child grows up to believe they can do nothing right. Anything they attempt to accomplish is met with thoughts of futility, "I could never do that."

Encouragement has more to do with "that's right go that way", not "oh what a great person you are for choosing the right way." One ought to be able to feel good about their accomplishments without someone gooing all over them until the honey drips to the point of making them nauseated.

A simple, "thank you for doing that" is enough and not over and over for the same task that should be routine without mention.

The two extremes, over praising or over devaluing are both unacceptable with children and even adults.

Romans 12:1-2 "1 Therefore I urge you, brothers, on account of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. 2 Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to discern what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God."

Someone who needs continual praise to keep going will not be someone who can serve Christ when there is persecution. We ought to show gratitude to others for their work, but excessive praise is a hindrance. Someone who is kept down continually through unnecessary criticism will automatically expect to fail.

Both the praised one and the demeaned one must admit their problem and resolve to overcome it through prayer and acknowledgment of reality. The lies that were placed in their heads by narcissists must be overcome with the truth of the Word of God.

Ephesians 4:29
"Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear."

1 Thessalonians 5:11
"Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing."

When we realize we are nothing special, none of us, then is when we can place our trust in Christ, allowing Him to work through us.

Colossians 3:16
"Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God."

Notice the focus is not self in the above verses! The focus is Christ. When we compare ourselves to Christ instead of others, we will not be so proud of ourselves.

Romans 15:1-11
"We who are strong have an obligation to bear with the failings of the weak, and not to please ourselves. Let each of us please his neighbor for his good, to build him up. For Christ did not please himself, but as it is written, “The reproaches of those who reproached you fell on me.” For whatever was written in former days was written for our instruction, that through endurance and through the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope. May the God of endurance and encouragement grant you to live in such harmony with one another, in accord with Christ Jesus, ..."

Our encouragement and joy comes from Christ not our own way.

2 Corinthians 10:12 "For we are not bold to class or compare ourselves with some of those who commend themselves; but when they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are without understanding."

The less we focus on self the more we grow in wisdom.

Someone once said this:
"One of the elements of holiness is the absence of self awareness. "

The more we are aware of Christ the less we are aware of self.