God's Commands

God has commanded us to raise our children in the Lord.

Proverbs 22:6 "6 Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it."

This verse is a general rule and not a promise. There are many children who have been raised in the Lord in varying degrees, act as though they are receiving it while in the home, but when they leave the home they abandon all they were taught. This is common in our day, its always been common. Even attracted to and marrying other rebellious people, because this was their practice to rebel and be with those who also rebel.

We think of David's son Absalom, he despised his father even attempting to kill him and take over his throne. And, yet David was called "the apple of God's eye." David love the Lord with all his heart, even though he had sins and flaws.

David was not a perfect father, there is no such thing as a perfect father. All people have flaws and all people make mistakes and commit sins. Those children who accuse their parents of not being the perfect parents are acting hypocritically since they would not be perfect parents either. NO ONE CAN BE THE PERFECT PARENT. These narcissistic children have no ability to self reflect to evaluate their own heart for change.

The problem is not whether or not a parent is perfect, the problem is when children do not accept the parent as an authority in their lives to be respected and obeyed.

Exodus 20:12 "12 Honor your father and mother, so that your days may be long in the land the LORD your God is giving you. "

Children who reject the training of their parents, hated the "lectures" and chose to go with the world rather than listen to their parent. Their entire lives they were trained by the culture that the culture was right and any parent who defied the culture to embrace the truth of God was considered ignorant and unworthy of respect.

When counseled in Biblical matters they didn't even remember it because while the teaching was going on they were rolling their eyes, projecting anger in their heart in rebellion closing off their heart to their parent. They had been trained by the culture that anyone who was determined to follow Christ should be demeaned, mocked and rejected. These people didn't fit with the superficial Christianity that surrounded their children.

Because of that rebellion in their heart they could not remember or perhaps just deny anything good that their parent did for them. When the entire culture mocked and demeaned "Mom" or "Dad", extended family, church and even public school, then there was a massive support system for the children to think in worldly and in contemptuous ways that resisted the things of God.

We have the account of the brothers Cain and Able, in which Cain was raised with the same parents as Able was and yet one brother pleased God and the other brother did not please God. Cain did not please God, became jealous of his brother who received blessing from God and killed him.

These two accounts of David and Absalom, as well as Cain and Able tell us that we should do the best we can in raising our children but when the culture and extended family come against us, the heart of our children are revealed by their acceptance of the cultural standard that hates us. If the heart of the child is inclined toward God then they will respect and honor the parent as they should.

Those who are pretenders, perhaps only caring to appear as godly people will have outward rules but remain rebellious in their heart. These people will demonstrate an attitude of superiority to dominate, mock and use covert means of manipulation to control their aging parents.

I recall an incident of a mother in a family in which an aunt demeaned the training of her girls by mocking what the mother had been teaching them. This mother wanted her girls to be dedicated to their husbands, children and home. She believed and still does that women ought not to leave their domain, that is the home to neglect their families. This young child was telling the aunt that she wanted to be a homemaker like her mother. The aunt mocked it and attempted to re-train this young girl by negating her mother's training. We see this all the time, the liberals who think they have a right to train our children but would become enraged if we instructed their children.

The young child really did want to be a homemaker but because of the negativity toward her mother she learned to despise and diminish the mother because of the negative feelings she received from extended family.

Children naturally assume something must be wrong with Mom if all these other people are treating her as though she is wrong and stupid.

When we attempt to pass on the wisdom that God has given us only to be treated with contempt for it, we have met a rebellious heart.

Far too many parents in my generation are left standing with a confused look on their face while asking the question what did I do that caused all this hatred. The truth is we did what we believed in, we walked our walk and the child was so deeply influenced by the culture that they rejected the ways of God to embrace the fun pleasurable ways of the world.

Lets face it Mother and Fathers out there, we can no longer expect to be loved by our children. The culture has gone mad with self love and hatred toward truth.

The way of our children's generation has gone the way of Cain. Jealousy and contempt for those who have Biblical standards. Wishing we were dead they neglect, demean and torment with covert manipulations to shame us for standing for God's Word.

If you have doubts about this just declare the word of God on the subject of divorce and remarriage. This arrogant and rebellious generation will adamantly defend the right to divorce and remarry as though it were a sacrament from God. They will block you, dismiss you and gossip against you.

Just a generation ago, my parents generation all believers rejected divorce and remarriage as a sin against God and a spouse. Only worldly wildly fringe people divorced and remarriage and there were none in the church who did this.

This tells you how far the apostate church has progressed in their rebellion against God. There are many other things that could be spoken of here that are continual violations of God's Word. When we declare the scriptures in answer to them we are treated in shameful ways as though we were the evil ones.

Proverbs 12:1-2 "1 Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates correction is stupid. 2 The good man obtains favor from the LORD, but the LORD condemns a man who devises evil.…"

This generation has become a generation of fools who call authentically born again believers fools. They are projecting, accusing us of what they are to further diminish us and God. Remember all this mess is not against us personally, its against God.

1 Peter 2:15-16 "15 For it is God’s will that by doing good you should silence the ignorance of foolish men. 16 Live in freedom, but do not use your freedom as a cover-up for evil; live as servants of God."

The solution for the born again believer is to ask the Holy Spirit to give you the responses He wants from you, to know the Word of God well while reveling in the joy as you remain without guilt in. When we know what is happening we no longer have to take it personally or allow it to change who we are in the Lord.

The devil and his narcissists want us to act like the narcissist in response. He counts it a win if he can manipulate us into reducing our Christian witness. DON'T LET HIM.

Luke 6:27-28 "27 But to those of you who will listen, I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28 bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. "

When we must be in company with the narcissist we must not allow them to train us how to act by reacting to them.

If at all possible it is best to avoid the narcissist, they are nothing but trouble and our walk with Christ is hindered by their antics and presence.

Proverbs 14:6-8 "…6 A mocker seeks wisdom and finds none, but knowledge comes easily to the discerning. 7 Stay away from a foolish man; you will gain no knowledge from his speech. 8 The wisdom of the prudent is to discern his way, but the folly of fools deceives them."

Here is why we stay as far away from these mockers as possible:

Isaiah 26:10-11 " 10 Though grace is shown to the wicked man, he does not learn righteousness. In the land of righteousness he acts unjustly and fails to see the majesty of the LORD. 11 O LORD, Your hand is upraised, but they do not see it. They will see Your zeal for Your people, and be put to shame. The fire set for Your enemies will consume them!…"

The narcissist will never learn, their heart has been hardened and their conscience seared. We must remain kind and steadfast in their presence if we must be with them, but we do not have to respond to them or engage with them in their manipulations. When we have an opportunity to remove ourselves we must do so.

Notice something: God didn't "suggest" that we remove ourselves, He "commanded" it.

Children are often a misery to many in this generation. If they reject God and us, then we must move forward in serving God without them. Pray for them they are lost and do not know that they are miserable. Pray for their repentance that God might deliver them from the devil.

1 Peter 5:8 "Be sober, be vigilant, because your adversary the devil walketh about as a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour."

Remember it is the devil behind all this mess. He is the one twisting minds and causing rage in many people.

Ephesians 6:12
"12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places."

When we look at the narcissist, don't see them, see the devil who is using their mind and their mouth to cause ruin, not only in you but also in them.

When Christ addressed Peter because of his lack of faith and understanding, he didn't say "get thee behind me Peter", He said; "get thee behind me satan." Christ did not speak to peter when peter spoke, He spoke to the devil who was using Peter's mouth.

Remember Judas? Christ did not say he was a bad man, He addressed the devil and said "one of you is a devil." Judas was a bad man but Christ addressed the devil who enticed Judas.

The point in this is that behind every narcissists is a devil placing false thoughts, false feelings and much turmoil to destroy relationships.
YES, the devil influenced them, but they chose to listen without consulting God.