When a narcissist asks you how you are doing they are not asking because they care about you. They are asking to have information to be able to judge or pass misinformation to others to destroy your peace.
Sadly this is happening all too often these days. Since there is a growing number of narcissists in the world today because we are living in the final days before God's wrath, we will see this phenomenon of selfish pride increasing exponentially.
2 Timothy 3:1-5
3 But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come.
2 For men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy,
3 unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good,
4 treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God,
5 holding to a form of godliness, although they have denied its power; Avoid such men as these."
Notice these are people who "have a form of religion" Its in the churches today on steroids. The pretenders are teaching people "do not judge", this keeps people from correcting one another as well as causing anger in those who do not want to be corrected.
2 Timothy 4:3 "For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but having itching ears, they shall heap to themselves teachers in accordance with their own lusts."
When we care deeply about the principles of Christ and obey His word to correct one another, we will be met with much resistance.
A born again believer who loves Christ does not hide, they do not pretend and they receive correction with gladness. If we have studied the word of God and know the truth about a matter we have no reason to become angry, we can share, if the one who corrects us will listen, that we already know the answer because God has shown it to us. We can provide our scripture and have no need to be angry.
Those who are angry at our staunchness for the word of God will call us angry. The narcissist always places on their target the very thing the narcissist is displaying and the corrector is not.
Because the narcissist despises being corrected they are more interested in proving us wrong than they are in God's Word. Pride, the very sin that got the devil thrown out of heaven looms large in the hearts of many in the church.
When the narcissist cannot change our mind because we have studied and resolved a matter with God, they will begin the character assassination. They will leave the subject at hand while moving onto accusations about our character even when they don't know anything about our lives.
I have met many people who have encountered these frustrating discussions with narcissists. They do not discuss to learn our view or God's principles, they discuss to win and when they cannot win over you they will demolish your reputation with others.
We saw this happen with Christ and all the apostles. Christ was accused by Pharisees that He did His miracles by the power of the devil. It was the devil influencing their thinking and using their mouths, we can expect the same to happen to us.
Revelation 12:9-11 "…9 And the great dragon was hurled down—that ancient serpent called the devil and Satan, the deceiver of the whole world. He was hurled to the earth, and his angels with him. 10 And I heard a loud voice in heaven saying: “Now have come the salvation and the power and the kingdom of our God, and the authority of His Christ. For the accuser of our brothers has been thrown down— he who accuses them day and night before our God. 11 They have conquered him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony. And they did not love their lives so as to shy away from death.…"
I actually had a woman accuse me of not giving scripture to support my points when I had given her lengthy and many scriptures She accused me of what she was doing, she had not given me much scripture that supported her view, in fact, the little scripture that she had was snatched out of context and had little to nothing to do with the discussion.
When I explained that remarriage was called adultery by Christ, the answer that came back was that "we should love people." What she refused to admit was that correction from God's Word was love. We cannot love someone and allow them to remain in sin without challenging it. She was falsely accusing me of not being loving because I called a sin what it was, sin against God.
Hebrews 3:13 "13But exhort one another daily, as long as it is called today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness."
Luke 17:3 " 3 Watch yourselves. If your brother sins, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him."
Let it be known that narcissists do not discuss anything, they argue to win. When we discover this is what is happening it is time to exit the conversation. We cannot help someone learn the ways of God when they refuse to pray and take a good look at scripture.
Pretenders and superficial Christians often quote mantras that are not Biblical as well as using partial scripture out of context to justify sin.
God encouraged me many times with people like this, He told me to speak the truth, do not respond to the accusations, and move on when the discussion is going nowhere good. When anger is emerging with accusations of character rather than proof of scripture, it is the big clue that you cannot reach this person with the truth. Then He said clearly, pray for them but avoid being a companion, this angst and domination is a part of their character. They need to be changed by Christ into a new creation so that when this happens they will love God's word and His commands. His principles for living become second nature to those who love Him.
John 14:15 "15If you love Me, you will keep My commandments. "
If the scriptures given here are not enough scripture for someone then they can go back to the passages and read the entire chapters as well as relating passages in the Bible to discover the truth. Also, keep in mind that we must place all passages and all chapters in the context of the entire Bible to understand God's commands and His Heart.
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