If we are deceived by anything it is because we love the deception. Everyone can ask God to show them the truth and He will do it. I have asked people to pray about what they think and do only to be met with anger that I would suggest it.
Most people in our day are deeply invested in feeling good about themselves and superior to others. They do not want to know the truth about their inner heart, they want only to feel wonderful about themselves.
Those who have desired truth above padding their ego will be the ones who grow in holiness. The others remain spiritual and emotional infants their entire lives. These people cannot be born again because in order to be born again we must see the sin in ourselves to confess it.
1 John 1:9 "1 John 1:9
"9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous, so that He will forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness."
Those who will not confess will always see others as the problem, never themselves. They will justify their sin or deny it completely in order to maintain their elevated view of self.
Luke 18:9-14
The Pharisee and the Tax Collector
"9 Now He also told this parable to some people who trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and viewed others with contempt:
10 “Two men went up into the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector.
11 The Pharisee stood and began praying this in regard to himself: ‘God, I thank You that I am not like other people: swindlers, crooked, adulterers, or even like this tax collector.
12 I fast twice a week; I pay tithes of all that I get.’
13 But the tax collector, standing some distance away, was even unwilling to raise his eyes toward heaven, but was beating his chest, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me, the sinner!’
14 I tell you, this man went to his house justified rather than the other one; for everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but the one who humbles himself will be exalted.”
We can tell who is a Pharisee by the way they boast about their own accomplishments regularly, They cannot have a conversation without mentioning all the things they do, the places they go, and the people they know. They are never satisfied just obeying Christ, even when they fall they readily and easily admit it and confess to be cleansed.
The Pharisees will not confess, they will not admit their harm to others nor will they believe they have done anything wrong when confronted by others over their offense. They are hell-bent on defending their sin with excuses or lies saying they didn't do it at all.
When we see this happening there is nothing we can do to help. They will never come to repentance until the Holy Spirit convicts them of their sinful attitude.
James 5:16 "16 Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man has great power to prevail."
Then, of course, we have the tactics of the narcissist who will accuse us of what they are doing and we are not. If they can divert the attention from them by making us the bad one, they will do this and as often as they are confronted with their sin. They never admit to anything authentically. If they do admit to anything it's because they are tired of the conflict and must do it to get things back to normal. They are never broken in their spirit over their sin, apologizing is a manipulation to the narcissist.
We have all met people like this, however, in our day people rarely get close enough to others to discover the hidden side of the narcissist. They keep it well under wraps for most people except those who are close to them. Sadly too, extended family will not know these things nor would they believe the victim because the narcissist is careful to treat others outside the family good, hiding their real selves.
Those who are victims of a narcissist must learn to keep their feelings to themselves while ignoring the rudeness of the narcissist. It sometimes takes a lifetime of abuse before one can master this self-control, but God can help anyone who will seek Him. If you fail for a moment and fall into the trap of answering back a narcissist, do not beat yourself up, just get up and begin again with the proper response.
When we know we cannot change others and that narcissists often never change, the victims must get on with their lives depending on the Holy Spirit to remove from them the desire to teach the narcissist anything, they will refuse to learn. However, God is bigger than we are and can do things better than we can.
2 Timothy 3:1-5
Difficult Times Will Come
"3 But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come.
2 For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, slanderers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy,
3 unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good,
4 treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God,
5 holding to a form of [b]godliness although they have denied its power; avoid such people as these."
2 Timothy 4:3 "For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but having itching ears, they shall heap to themselves teachers in accordance with their own lusts."
We have many of these narcissists in church gatherings today. They will hang tightly to their human traditions and persecute the authentic believer for exposing them for what they are, that is worthless traditions. Using the Bible to expose the actions of a narcissist often enrages them. They will begin their personal attacks diverting the attention from their own sin. If they can discredit your character then they have the sense they don't have to listen to you at all anymore.
Luke 21:16-17 "…16 You will be betrayed even by parents and brothers and relatives and friends, and some of you will be put to death. 17 And you will be hated by everyone because of My name."
Prepare yourselves for the vitriolic diatribe from those who love their human traditions over the truth of the Bible.
The devil is the accuser of the brethren, he goes before the Father every day accusing God's people of things that are not true, attempting to influence God to discard His people. The narcissist does this in family dynamics too. The reason is simple, the people are being influenced by the devil himself. The reason we see so many narcissists who don't even know one another using the exact same verbiage as those they do not know is because it is the devil placing these ideas and words in their mouths.
Remember when Christ rebuked the devil when Peter spoke things he should not have spoken? Christ looked right at Peter and said this; "get thee behind me Satan." Interestingly, Christ did not address Peter at all, He addressed the devil who was using Peter's mouth.
This is what we are dealing with in narcissists, the devil is using their mouths. Sadly we must admit narcissists have increased exponentially in the world as the devil influences more and more people in these last days.
The 2 Timothy 3 passage is describing the church, these are people who "have a form of religion" but have no interest in God. They want His protection, His blessings of health and wealth but they do not want Him.
This seems frightening to many who might read it, but remember we must admit to it before we can know how to live with it in the world.
Colossians 2:8
"See to it that no one takes you captive by philosophy and empty deceit, according to human tradition, according to the elemental spirits of the world, and not according to Christ."
2 Timothy 3:13
"While evil people and impostors will go on from bad to worse, deceiving and being deceived."
Matthew 7:21-23
“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.’"
When we know the truth and who is behind all this we can trust in Christ more and refuse to be sucked into their ways.
Titus 3:3-7
"For we ourselves were once foolish, disobedient, led astray, slaves to various passions and pleasures, passing our days in malice and envy, hated by others and hating one another. But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us richly through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that being justified by his grace we might become heirs according to the hope of eternal life."
Before we were born again we thought the same way as the narcissist, but after we were born again our eyes were opened that we could see what most people cannot see.
We must pray for the narcissist to repent, in order for this to happen the Holy Spirit must work on them in His own way causing them to see their need for Him. We cannot do this, there is a point at which we must stop talking or reacting and begin trusting the Holy Spirit.
As we used to hear in school many years ago, we must ignore the attacks like water off a ducks back. Nothing they do will stick to us or cause us to become like them, which is, by the way, the devil's goal. This is not easy, it takes prayer and lots of silence, don't beat yourself up if you fail, just get up and begin again trusting Christ.
The devil is more interested in causing the believer to fall into sin, he already has the unbeliever.
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