We live in a world in which each gender is being blamed for the flaws in the marriage. We hear things like "the wife isn't submissive" or "the man does not lead", while these things can be true, the fault lies in the bad doctrines in the apostate churches today who focus more on someone controlling someone else than they do on each gender "becoming" Christlike themselves.
There are as many men as there are women who are ungodly in our world today. I know of men who fight the godly women when the woman wants to obey God and I know of women who do the same when the man wants to obey God. It isn't one gender or another, its mankind at its worst in these last days.
In Genesis God said that "the woman's desire will be to rule over the man but he will rule over her." This is not what a Christian marriage should be it is a condition of the fall. And, it is not the way a Christian partner should act when their spouse will not obey God.
Our challenge is to BE the example of Christ likeness no matter what our spouse is doing. We live in a world full of ungodly people who say they are Christians who have never been born again. We cannot change them, all we can do is pray continually to BE what God called us to BE and the proper actions and reactions will follow no matter what our spouse is doing.
It is true that women are the weaker vessel and God told men to treat her with greater care than he would another man. It is also true that a woman should not use this fact to manipulate their husband into guilt when he does not obey God.
Luke 6:27-28 "27 But to those of you who will listen, I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28 bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.'
I see no commands in the Word of God to "make someone understand" or to "force anyone to do the right thing." I do see lots of language that instructs us to pay attention to our own walk with Christ and evaluate ourselves. Yes, there is time to tell the truth as led by the Holy Spirit and it may make our spouse angry but our demeanor ought to be with the mentality of helping, when someone will not listen then we must stop talking and leave them to God.
1 Peter 3:9
"Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing."
When we keep in mind that we are not responsible for the actions or reactions of others we can observe without sucking their angst into our souls.
If we have not been Christlike then we must confess it to those we offended and to God to be cleansed.
James 5:16 "16Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man has great power to prevail."
1 John 1:9
"9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous, so that He will forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness."
If we remember to stop worrying about what others are doing to us and begin living our lives for Christ then we will be at peace even if our offenders are not peaceful. If abuse is constant and unrelenting then we are free to leave the room or the house of those who will not stop the abuse. Constant verbal and emotional abuse is of the devil and God has given us the freedom to avoid those who act devilish.
2 Timothy 3:1-5
Difficult Times Will Come
"3 But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come.
2 For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, slanderers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy,
3 unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good,
4 treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God,
5 holding to a form of godliness although they have denied its power; AVOID SUCH PEOPLE AS THESE."
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