Stubborness is in the Eye of the Beholder

Have you ever been told you were stubborn because you declined to do what someone else wanted you to do?

 
We must always self-reflect to see if we are being uncooperative or just asserting our own boundaries.

 
Often, the stubborn one is not us for saying no, but others for applying pressure until we comply with their idea of what is good for us.

 
Sometimes people pressure us to do their bidding, but when we decline politely those receiving the "no" answer become agitated and gossip to cause others to come to their way of thinking, which is that "we are the stubborn ones."

 
So, who is really the stubborn one? Those who cannot accept the boundaries of others are the ones who wish to control and dominate others. They use accusations to force their target into compliance without any thought of having a reasonable and rational dialogue about what is best for both parties.

 
In some of my life encounters, I have met family members who refused to discuss things for a resolution. Their mentality was one of "it's all about them" and what they want. Discussion would force them to have to consider the other person, which is unthinkable to the narcissist.

 
For me, when someone refuses to discuss something that pertains to me and them, my automatic answer is no. If there cannot be a discussion with displays of love and kindness then those who refuse a dialogue cannot be trusted to look at all sides of a matter to benefit both parties involved.

 
Proverbs 18:12-13 "…12 Before his downfall, a man’s heart is proud, but humility comes before honor. 13 He who answers a matter before he hears it— this is folly and disgrace to him. "

Many bad decisions are made when there is stubborn uncooperativeness. Cooperating is not a matter of relinquishing our own rights; it is a matter of honest, rational discussion to come to the best answer.

 
There can be no relationship with those who will demand their own way without consideration for others. Relationships are built on cooperation, concern for others, reciprocity, and all our out of love for one another.

 
When there is love, there will be teamwork and collaboration. There will be no competitiveness to dominate or punish for noncompliance. Respecting the choices of others is the main component of a relationship.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7
"4 Love is patient, love is kind, it is not jealous; love does not brag, it is not arrogant. 5 It does not act disgracefully, it does not seek its own benefit; it is not provoked, does not keep an account of a wrong suffered, 6 it does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; 7 it [a]keeps every confidence it believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."

The Christian walk is not about doing what everyone else wants; this is not the measure of godliness. The Christian walk is about hearing from the Holy Spirit about the best course of action, doing what He says, and making all decisions based on Him.

 
Since most people do not do this, we will be misunderstood, maligned, and gossiped about, but it should not concern us what others are saying and doing. What they say and do says something about them, not about us.

 
May believers operate from the standpoint of Holy Spirit love in all our relationships.