Wednesday, May 18, 2016

Only God Can Reach Them

At the end of this discussion is an in depth article on the workings of a narcissist. I find aspects of this character flaw evident in many relationships I have encountered. Since there is a continuum, we might find people who only have some of the traits and in varying degrees, however the full blown narcissist will have many, if not all. In any case these traits meet the warning in 2 Timothy 3. They are not reachable in terms of instruction or correction, they refuse to negotiate or consider anything that does not present them in a good light, there is no self reflection. It is only God who can reach them through many difficult life experiences. This is why God tells us in verse 5 of 2 Timothy 3, that we must walk away from them.


We know from these passages that this condition will be pervasive in the end times, the times in which we live right now. So.....if you think you must be going crazy trying to figure out what you did to cause the reactions you got, you have probably dealt with a narcissist. They cannot be reasoned with on any level. In order to reason with them, they would have to want to know how they can help, but they don't want to know. Their only goal is to be elevated by others and win in every discussion.


2 Timothy 3:1-5 "1 But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come.
2 For men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy,
3 unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good,
4 treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God,
5 holding to a form of godliness, although they have denied its power; Avoid such men as these."


Since the narcissist is so completely impervious to instruction, believing they already know everything and anyone who attempts to help them understand a matter becomes a target for destruction, it is best to recognize them, move on from them to allow God to do what is needed in their life.


Those who believe all they have to do is explain things and show compassion have never met a true narcissist. Since full blown narcissism is demomic, we must remember we are not fighting with a person when we attempt to reason with them, we are battling the demons that oppress them. The best and only answer with these demonized people is to pray that God deal with the demons. Until God does this, we can have no influence and be on help to them.



Tuesday, May 17, 2016

God Fights For Us

Remember that wicked people set up dramas to cause reactions but we don't have to play the game. We can give it to God, while trusting that He will manage things on our behalf.

Exodus 14:13-15 "…13 But Moses said to the people, "Do not fear! Stand by and see the salvation of the LORD which He will accomplish for you today; for the Egyptians whom you have seen today, you will never see them again forever. 14 "The LORD will fight for you while you keep silent." 15 Then the LORD said to Moses, "Why are you crying out to Me? Tell the sons of Israel to go forward.…"


Proof We Believe is in the Obeying

Read it, believe it and the proof that we believe it is that we obey it.

Saying we believe the Bible while dismissing most of what's in it is hypocrisy.

They are not What They Claim

Christians today are disobeying more of Scripture than they are obeying while at the same time claiming they believe the Bible.

I am convinced we have more pretenders in the organized church today than we have true believers. This means that they are the ones in control and will come against anyone who will challenge their doctrine, even though Christ tells us to question and test all things according to His Word. 

Working Real Hard Won't Do It

The works come after salvation not to gain it. When we confess our sin to God ask Him to save us, He changes us into a new creation, we can never go back to the old creation again. The old has passed away. We are also sealed with the Holy Spirit of God as a guarantee of our inheritance. No one can snatch us out of His hand and we are included in that "no one." Also we must remember that Christ's blood covered our sin, we still live in the flesh which is sinful, but God continually works in us to cleanse us until the day we die.

Ephesians 2:8-9 "…8 For it is by grace you have been saved through faith, and this not from yourselves; it is the gift of God, 9 not by works, so that no one can boast. 10 For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance as our way of life.…"

2 Corinthians 5:16-18 "…16 So from now on we regard no one according to the flesh. Although we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer. 17 Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away. Behold, the new has come! 18 All this is from God, who reconciled us to Himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation:…"

God disciplines those who belong to Him, in other words believers do sin or there would be no need for His discipline.

Hebrews 12:5-7 "…5 And you have forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons: “My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, or lose heart when He rebukes you. 6 For the Lord disciplines the one He loves, and He chastises everyone He receives as a son.” 7 Endure suffering as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father?…"

If sin could lose us our salvation the question would be "how big" must the sin be, "how many sins" and "what kind of sin", we are not told all that because sin does not lose us our salvation. What kind of God would give us a salvation dependent on our next worst act, after telling us we could not earn it in the first place. No one I have talked to will address the matter of "how many, how big and which type", because sin is not relevant to the saving grace of God.

When we trust Christ we can trust Him that He will do all the work in us, the saving, the maintaining and the cleansing.

Christ paid it all on the cross we cannot maintain what He paid for with His blood. It is all about Him. How silly to think that Christ had to shed His blood to pay the penalty for our sin, but all that would be necessary to keep our salvation would be to choose to do no more wrong. We would be losing our salvation every other day if not every day, since we live in the sinful flesh. It was our spirit that was changed, our flesh is still dying because of sin.

Christ works in us after we are born again to cleanse us, we should be progressing in holiness all the time, sin should be falling off and holiness should be increasing. If we find someone who has not changed one wit in all the years they have been a Christian, I would have to wonder if they were ever born again.

Far too many people are thinking they can lose salvation by their works, making no sense at all, when we know we cannot gain it by our works. Gaining it or maintaining it by works is a works based salvation.

The only way to salvation is to trust Christ, then He begins His work in us. The more we confess and obey the more we grow in holiness. Some people will not grow much because they are stubborn children and others will grow leaps and bounds.

1 Corinthians 3:14-16 "…14 If what he has built survives, he will receive a reward. 15 If it is burned up, he will suffer loss. He himself will be saved, but only as one being snatched from the fire. 16 Do you not know that you yourselves are God’s temple, and that God’s Spirit dwells in you?…"

If you think that your works are doing anything for you in terms of salvation, then you need to repent, confess your sin of trusting in self and begin to trust Christ alone.

Romans 5:12-21
12 Therefore, just as through one man sin entered into the world, and death through sin, and so death spread to all men, because all sinned 13 for until the Law sin was in the world, but sin is not imputed when there is no law.
14 Nevertheless death reigned from Adam until Moses, even over those who had not sinned in the likeness of the offense of Adam, who is a type of Him who was to come.
15 But the free gift is not like the transgression. For if by the transgression of the one the many died, much more did the grace of God and the gift by the grace of the one Man, Jesus Christ, abound to the many.
16 The gift is not like that which came through the one who sinned; for on the one hand the judgment arose from one transgression resulting in condemnation, but on the other hand the free gift arose from many transgressions resulting in justification.
17 For if by the transgression of the one, death reigned through the one, much more those who receive the abundance of grace and of the gift of righteousness will reign in life through the One, Jesus Christ.
18 So then as through one transgression there resulted condemnation to all men, even so through one act of righteousness there resulted justification of life to all men.
19 For as through the one man’s disobedience the many were made sinners, even so through the obedience of the One the many will be made righteous.
20 The Law came in so that the transgression would increase; but where sin increased, grace abounded all the more,
21 so that, as sin reigned in death, even so grace would reign through righteousness to eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord."

Something to think about: How many of us say we believe we are saved by grace alone through faith in Christ, but live as though we think we are earning our way, terribly proud of how good we think we are?
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Sociopaths and Communication

Amen, this is very true!

Communication & the Functional Sociopath
By William Polowniak, Ph.D.

"Fritz Perls a famous Jewish psychotherapist known for his founding of Gestalt therapy once said that refusal to communicate is the most toxic human behavior. I am convinced that he is right. Refusal to communicate really means refusal to listen and to enter into dialogue especially when we disagree. Usually people who refuse to communicate live their lives as “functional sociopaths.” That is, they are self-centered, they do as they please with total disregard for others and they indulge in subterfuge, self-delusion and see themselves as persecuted. Their delusions of self-persecution cause them to become angry manipulators."

How many times have you attempted to communicate with someone to resolve a matter and they practiced stonewalling, refusing to engage in dialogue. There is nothing more anyone can do when someone will not talk or listen in order to respect the other party, loving them to discern their perspective. Hiding is a favored tactic of those who cannot admit their part in a relationship dilemma.

Dialogue is for the purpose of resolution, narcissists don't care about resolving a matter they merely want to win to appear superior. If they think they cannot win, they refuse to engage. There is the mentality of a six year old who is going to take his ball and go home if the game is not going his way.

May anyone reading this who has a problem with being corrected or instructed because of pride, please remember that confession of sin and the resolving of a problem in a relationship takes an attitude of being willing to admit their sin, it is a cleansing process that is well worth it. So many narcissists walk around with guilt because instead of confessing, being cleansed and moving on, they must continually justify with excuse making, their actions. They are never cleansed, they don't grow and they don't restore relationships.

God desires relationships to be restored, even to Himself, but confession is required for that to happen. Those who walk closely with Christ know when they have done wrong, Christ in them tells them. They do not rest until they have made it right. Those that resist the conviction of the Holy Spirit will suffer continual guilt, the more they resist the greater the discipline from God. The longer they resist the greater the chance for a bitter and hardened heart. Bitterness and anger often physically ages those that are plagued by these things. Confession brings healing, pride causes brokenness in any relationship.

Hebrews 12:5-6 "…5 And you have forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons: “My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, or lose heart when He rebukes you. 6 For the Lord disciplines the one He loves, and He chastises everyone He receives as a son.”

Ephesians 4:31 "Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamor, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:"

Hebrews 12:15 "Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled;"

James 3:14 "But if you have bitter envying and strife in your hearts, glory not, and lie not against the truth."

1 John 2:9 "He that said he is in the light, and hates his brother, is in darkness even until now."

John 16:33 - "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."

Psalm 51:10 - "Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me"

Proverbs 28:13 - "Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper, but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy"

Ephesians 4:26 - "In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry"

Colossians 3:13 - "Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you."

Ephesians 4:31 - "Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice."

Ephesians 3:17-19 - "And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord's holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God."

Relationships Require Humble Communication

A Sluggard is Lazy in Everything, career and relationships, both are hard work if they are to be done in excellence and diligence. However it takes integrity to do both according to God's standard.
Proverbs 26:1-28
"Like snow in summer and like rain in harvest,
So honor is not fitting for a fool.
2 Like a sparrow in its [a]flitting, like a swallow in its flying,
So a curse without cause does not [b]alight.
3 A whip is for the horse, a bridle for the donkey,
And a rod for the back of fools.
4 Do not answer a fool according to his folly,
Or you will also be like him.
5 Answer a fool as his folly deserves,
That he not be wise in his own eyes.
6 He cuts off his own feet and drinks violence
Who sends a message by the hand of a fool.
7 Like the legs which [c]are useless to the lame,
So is a proverb in the mouth of fools.
8 Like [d]one who binds a stone in a sling,
So is he who gives honor to a fool.
9 Like a thorn which [e]falls into the hand of a drunkard,
So is a proverb in the mouth of fools.
10 [f]Like an archer who wounds everyone,
So is he who hires a fool or who hires those who pass by.
11 Like a dog that returns to its vomit
Is a fool who repeats [g]his folly.
12 Do you see a man wise in his own eyes?
There is more hope for a fool than for him.
13 The sluggard says, “There is a lion in the road!
A lion is [h]in the open square!”
14 As the door turns on its hinges,
So does the sluggard on his bed.
15 The sluggard buries his hand in the dish;
He is weary of bringing it to his mouth again.
16 The sluggard is wiser in his own eyes
Than seven men who can [i]give a discreet answer.
17 Like one who takes a dog by the ears
Is he who passes by and [j]meddles with strife not belonging to him.
18 Like a madman who throws
Firebrands, arrows and death,
19 So is the man who deceives his neighbor,
And says, “Was I not joking?”
20 For lack of wood the fire goes out,
And where there is no whisperer, contention quiets down.
21 Like charcoal to hot embers and wood to fire,
So is a contentious man to kindle strife.
22 The words of a whisperer are like dainty morsels,
And they go down into the [k]innermost parts of the body.
23 Like an earthen vessel overlaid with silver dross
Are burning lips and a wicked heart.
24 He who hates disguises it with his lips,
But he lays up deceit in his [l]heart.
25 When [m]he speaks graciously, do not believe him,
For there are seven abominations in his heart.
26 Though his hatred covers itself with guile,
His wickedness will be revealed before the assembly.
27 He who digs a pit will fall into it,
And he who rolls a stone, it will come back on him.
28 A lying tongue hates [n]those it crushes,
And a flattering mouth works ruin."