Real Apologies are Verbal and Reparative

A true apology involves "remorse, responsibility and repair of the relationship" was a good statement I heard on a video today. This is Biblical and should happen whenever there is a problem in a relationship.

One person must be willing to admit they did something offensive or harmful while the other is being patient and kind in resolving it with the offender.

It isn't about beating the offender up as much as possible to get our own way, its about finding solutions to restore something broken.

False apologies do not produce any lasting restoration, they are only delivered as words without substance. Our culture today is based on non-apology apologies. Since many people invest in merely appearing good without being good, they think words alone will mend things.

Those who cannot openly and verbally apologize for offenses are living in the sin of pride.

When non-apology apologies occur enough times we can no longer trust the person delivering them.

May we be those who seek real solutions to problems not merely words to make ourselves feel better but actions that help those who have a grievance.

Sadly one of the things I have noticed with narcissists is that they do not want to even apologize with words they become angry at any challenge they may have been offensive and use mocking and intimidation to control the feelings of the one who dared to speak the truth. The more vulnerable narcissist will play the victim and even cry.

As born-again believers, we want to make sure we are not the problem in a relationship. If someone else has been offensive we want to show graciousness in approaching the one who has offended, not by ignoring it but by speaking words of kindness as we share the nuances of the problem.

If we are the offender then we need to apologize quickly without reservation or sheepishness, but with kindness and boldness.

God's love motivates us to find solutions while communicating openly, and honestly with understanding toward others.

Proverbs 15:1 "A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger."

When we have the Holy Spirit we don't have to "work up" kindness, it is what should come naturally to those who love Jesus Christ.

John 13:34-35 " 34 A new commandment I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you also must love one another. 35 By this everyone will know that you are My disciples if you love one another."

Love doesn't care about winning, it only cares about resolving problems.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

"4 Love is patient, love is kind, it is not jealous; love does not brag, it is not arrogant.

5 It does not act disgracefully, it does not seek its own benefit; it is not provoked, does not keep an account of a wrong suffered,

6 it does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; 7 it keeps every confidence, it believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."

Some People Like to be Offended

Be Confident in Declining What God has not Commanded

If someone becomes angry because we declined an offer we know that the offer came with a hook. Never feel bad about having reasonable boundaries that you live by.

There will always be those who think you have insulted them by saying "no thank you" to their desire for us to do something. When we experience this we know the motive was not pure and the offer was not for our good but only theirs.

I am happy to be on board with someone when God is telling me to do it, however, I am not pleased with pressure to do things God never told me to do.

Never feel guilty if you have to say no to someone else's agenda.

God will tell us what He wants when He wants it, people are not our bosses, only Christ is our Authority, when He speaks we know it.

When the Holy Spirit speaks to us there is no doubt and no pressure needed from others. Others may suggest things to us that we pray about but their pressure should never be the reason we do something.

Acts 5:29

"29 Then Peter and the other apostles answered and said, We ought to obey God rather than men."

Those who do not support our decision to hear from God cannot be our companions. They will expect us to do their bidding rather than seek Christ in us.

Peer pressure to honor cultural Christianity will always lead down a path of disobedience, don't go there, stay on the path God has for you even if no one else goes with you or supports you.

Mark 6:11

"If anyone will not welcome you or listen to you, shake the dust off your feet when you leave that place, as a testimony against them.""

Keep your companions those who love God as you love Him and desire to obey Him as you desire to obey Him. Everyone else will be a distraction.

Doing Things Our Own Way Does Not Please God

There are those who use Moses holding up the serpant in the wilderness as an excuse to have idols they bow to, this is foolishness.

God commanded to look at the surpant in the wilderness and the people misused it.
John 3:13-15 "…13No one has ascended into heaven except the One who descended from heaven—the Son of Man. 14Just as Moses lifted up the snake in the wilderness, so the Son of Man must be lifted up, 15that everyone who believes in Him may have eternal life.…"

 
It is far different for God to tell someone to observe something than it is for man to decide for himself what he will pay homage to.

 
Making up our own ideas to satisfy our need to see something is not the same as when God commands something.

Matthew 16:4
"4 An evil and adulterous generation wants a [a]sign; and so a [b]sign will not be given to it, except the sign of Jonah.” And He left them and went away."
Those who lack faith are those who need to see or do something to feel close to God. When we walk by faith, it is enough for Christ to be living in us as we worship in Spirit and in Truth. Christ is our Spirit that compels us to worship and even prays on our behalf.

Romans 8:34 "Christ Jesus is He who died, but rather, was raised, who is at the right hand of God, who also intercedes for us."

Human beings are constantly thinking they can do it better than God. Making up their own ideas while ignoring God's commands to worship their own way.

The “Foolishness” Of The CROSS | Short Bible Study Lesson - 1 Corinthian...

Where Will you spend Eternity?

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/1aUnAJvmrn8

Judging Others

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/on6NryA7Hkw

False Churches are at Fault

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/u9x1yPxgHoQ

The Gaslighting of Governments Toward the People

"Gaslight" is to manipulate someone's memory of an event. It is based on the movie "Gaslight" in which a husband attempted to cause his wife to go insane by claiming she was doing and saying things that did not actually happen.

Gaslighting is happening all the time now in our culture even in our churches. These public entities are claiming things about Israel that are not true.

We all saw the carnage Hamas did to Israel, murdering over 1400 people in Israel since this recent war. Hamas attacked Israel and these same people are attempting to convince the public that Israel was the aggressor when it was Hamas that perpetrated wicked atrocities against the people of Israel without any provocation.

Israel defended itself and resolved to chase Hamas and the Palestinians who supported Hamas out of the region that belongs and always has belonged to Israel.

I speak of this now because many people are beginning to be against Israel for defending themselves while demanding reconciliation. It is not possible to reconcile with a narcissist who cares only about completely destroying you.

Because of my experience with and study of narcissism I see all the tactics of Hamas exactly the same as any narcissistic person. They bully others and get angry when the victims fight back to defend themselves.

The bully always blames the victims and lies continually to convince others the victim was the perp when it was the bully who started it all and refuses to stop aggressing.

It is impossible for the victim of a bully to negotiate with them. They are taught to lie to win and once they have lied that they are willing to negotiate they will aggress again and again and again, over and over!!!!

Bullies cannot be trusted they must be eliminated from the lives of those they seek to destroy. Driving them away is the only answer to the problem of the narcissistic bully.

Bullies do not want others to live their lives in peace, they want to completely destroy their targets. There is no trusting those who have a lifelong pattern of bullying and lying to achieve their goal of annihilation of their target.

Now that we understand this principle of bullying and lying we can see it in the Scriptures where God said that all the countries surrounding Israel will be against them unjustly. The exciting thing is that God will fight for Israel and all the powers of the world will not be able to take her down.

Narcissistm is mentioned in 2 Timothy 3. We are living in the times of intense wickedness when lying is common all the time with almost everyone.

Have you wondered why you have few friends when you tell the truth and expose the lies while using the Scriptures to prove your assertions?

We are living in the last days as described in 2 Timothy 3. People for the most part are demonstrating these evil mentalities and gaslighting the truth tellers attempting to silence them. The gaslighters hate God and they hate the truth. Anyone who speaks the truth and loves God will be a target of the gaslighters.

2 Timothy 3:1-5

Difficult Times Will Come

3 But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come.

2 For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, slanderers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy,

3 unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good,

4 treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God,

5 holding to a form of godliness although they have denied its power; avoid such people as these."

These people have a form of religion but deny God as the Power!!!

Do not be discouraged by these facts, we know they are prophesied and we can be excited that we are living in prophetic times watching God's word play out just the same as Moses did when God parted the Red Sea. Perhaps the prophets will want to enquire of us what it looked like to be living in the end of the end times right before Christ comes?

Lets Read the Whole Passage About Forgiveness

Let's read the rest of that passage;
Luke 17:3-4 "…3 Watch yourselves. If your brother sins, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. 4 Even if he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times returns to say, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.” 

All forgiveness must be preceded by repentance.

 
We desire that relationships be reconciled but they can only be so if someone is sorry and someone forgives.

 
Believers have forgiveness in their hearts all the time, in order to pass it to the offender there must be a desire to have changed behavior and the realization that someone was harmed.

 
God tells us to avoid an angry man, this is a command that we cannot walk with those who continually offend without ever thinking they did anything wrong. Those who justify their sin cannot be forgiven.

 
Galatians 5:19-21
"Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God."

Proverbs 13:20
"Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm."

1 Corinthians 15:33
"Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.”

When we make foolish people are constant companions we will become like them or at the very least we will enable them to stay as they are without guilt about their behavior or attitude.

Good for You Dad!!!!

https://youtube.com/shorts/LDDTgtC4lNI?si=Qqq72RhRhgNF2wkF

How We Interpret What Happens To Us!

Everyone interprets what they hear according to their own biases and according to their own mindset.

An angry person will see an insult where there is no insult. They suspect others of being insulting because angry people are continually using rudeness to control the feelings of others.

A kind and loving person may miss an insult because they interpret what is said according to what they would be feeling if they said such a thing. Or they might interpret an insult as being from someone who had a problem that day because in their mind no one would do that for no reason at all.

The kind person may even blame themselves for somehow making someone else upset without knowing what they did to cause it. Kind people hate harming anyone, they will quickly evaluate themselves to make sure they were not offensive and even inquire to find out what they may have done or said that was offensive.

A wise person never offends to control others and they can see when someone is manipulating to increase a feeling of guilt in them or others.

Proverbs 1:4-6 "…4 To impart prudence to the simple and knowledge and discretion to the young, 5 let the wise listen and gain instruction, and the discerning acquire wise counsel 6 by understanding the proverbs and parables, the sayings and riddles of the wise.…"

Proverbs 9:9

"Instruct a wise man, and he will be wiser still; teach a righteous man, and he will increase his learning."

Proverbs 14:6

"A mocker seeks wisdom and finds none, but knowledge comes easily to the discerning."

The purpose in knowing the tactics of unruly people is to be able to respond correctly while never allowing ourselves to become like them by replying in kind or in anger. Those who are confident about their ways have no need to defend themselves or become caught in the web of the narcissistic tactics of those who do not love God.

In other words, be the opposite of what the rude person is trying to goad you into becoming.

Ephesians 4:31-32

"Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you."

It doesn't matter what anyone else is doing to us, we are responsible for replying in a calm respectful manner or to remain silent. A strong person can do this because they are confident in Christ, they never have the sense that they need to win anything in conversation with a wicked person.

Keep looking up! One day everything will be exposed and Christ in us already knows it all.

Emotional Response or Reasonable Explanation?

Our emotional responses say something about us. Those who respond with reason are operating from rational thought. Those who respond emotionally in rage are not thinking nor are they demonstrating love.

I knew someone who practiced gaslighting to confuse and frustrate others in conversation. When someone was giving a reason for what they did he would call it "an excuse" to diminish them. Everything to this person was seen as an "excuse" unless it was him, then it was a "reason."

This tactic of accusing others of things that are not true often is a confession of the narcissist of what is in their own heart. Dismissing the reasons of others while validating only his own reasons was a tactic to antagonize someone into an angry response and even cause them to doubt themselves.

When we notice a person regularly and even continually dismissing our conversation to antagonize us, this is a person to avoid.

Proverbs 22:24-25

"Make no friendship with an angry man, And with a furious man do not go, Lest you learn his ways And set a snare for your soul."

Those who use hostility to cause anger in others are themselves angry people. They know they are angry inside because of their attempts to make others seem worse than themselves by their strategy to cause emotional responses in their target.

God made it clear to avoid these people, they are controlled by the devil to cause God's people to fall into the sin of frustration and self-defensiveness.

If you have to be around someone because they are family then we must learn to ignore their tactics, be comfortable never explaining ourselves to them, and refuse to become emotionally enticed to respond just like them.

If a narcissist can cause anger in us they will count it a win and in their own mind will appear superior to those they aggravate.

Proverbs 22:24-25 "24 Do not make friends with an angry man, and do not associate with a hot-tempered man, 25 or you may learn his ways and entangle yourself in a snare.…"

Remaining silent is often the best course of action when we notice someone's attempt to provoke us to elevate themselves.

Proverbs 15:18

"A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger calms dispute."

Proverbs 21:24 "“Proud,” “Arrogant,” “Scoffer,” are his names, One who acts with insolent pride."

Isaiah 16:6

"We have heard of Moab's pomposity, his exceeding pride and conceit, his overflowing arrogance. But his boasting is empty."

Never fear those who act in arrogant pride to antagonize those they hate. Our greatest weapon against such people is to remain unaffected and unemotional about their foolishness toward us.

To care what they think of us is what causes us to defend ourselves. When we care only what God thinks we have no need to explain ourselves to those who love to provoke others into annoyance.

Romans 12:19

"19 Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord."

Trust Christ in all things and we will have no desire to force a response.

Narcissists Hate Those Who Do Not Elevate Them

It is common for narcissists to attempt to shape us into their idea of a successful person. To them a successful person is one who is just like them.

No matter how much they twist God's Word or defy kindness and love, they believe they are good people because they are special.

When someone thinks they are above others it is not possible to possess the fruit of the Spriit of Christ.

Galatians 5:22-23

"22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law."

The first characteristic of the fruit of God's Spirit is love. We cannot come to Christ believing we are special and expect to be forgiven. To be born again we must admit our sinful nature, no one who does this thinks highly of themselves.

Anyone who hangs on to pride will not be born again.

James 4:9-10

…9 Grieve, mourn, and weep. Turn your laughter to mourning, and your joy to gloom. 10Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will exalt you."

God will exalt us when we are humble but He will never exalt those who have exalted themselves.

2 Chronicles 7:14

"and if My people who are called by My name humble themselves and pray and seek My face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, forgive their sin, and heal their land."

God will not forgive the sins of those who will not humbly admit they have sinned.

Proverbs 29:23

"A man's pride will bring him low, but a humble spirit will obtain honor."

Ezekiel 21:26

"This is what the Lord GOD says: 'Remove the turban, and take off the crown. Things will not remain as they are: Exalt the lowly and bring low the exalted."

Job 22:29

"When men are cast down, then thou shalt say, There is lifting up; and he shall save the humble person."

It is clear in God's word that those who attempt to remain superior to others will be brought low eventually. When anyone act superior to people they are also doing it to God. They are a god unto themselves and will not listen to God about anything. These people take the Scriptures and twist them into what they want to believe rather than asking God what He said.

1 John 1:9

"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."

God will not forgive those who are prideful and willful.

James 4:7 "Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you."

The devil wants people to embrace arrogance so that he can control their thoughts and their heart leading them deeper into haughtiness. A sense of superiority to people and to God leads those who are like this into bitterness and resentment when others do not accept their idea of themselves.

When we have become born again we do not want to offend God or people. Our desire is to become like Christ.

Galatians 5:24

"And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires."

2 Timothy 1:7

"For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control."

Those who love Christ have no need or desire to be superior to others.

The Holy Spirit is our Authority no one Else

Why would we need any human being to be an authority over us when we have God Who created the universe living inside of us.?!!!!

If we allow any human being to be our authority we are usurping the Holy Spirit and practicing idolatry.

Spirit of glory (1 Peter 4:14)
Lord, The (2 Thessalonians 3:5)
God (Acts 5:3-4)
Spirit of revelation (Ephesians 1:17)
Spirit of the Son (Galatians 4:6)
Spirit of God (Genesis 1:2; 1 Corinthians 2:11; Job 33:4)
Eternal Spirit (Hebrews 9:14)
Spirit of the Lord (Isaiah 11:2; Acts 5:9)
Spirit of wisdom (Isaiah 11:2; Ephesians 1:17)
Spirit of counsel (Isaiah 11:2)
Spirit of might (Isaiah 11:2)
Spirit of understanding (Isaiah 11:2)
Spirit of knowledge (Isaiah 11:2)
Spirit of the fear of the Lord (Isaiah 11:2)
Spirit of judgment (Isaiah 4:4; 28:6)
Spirit of burning (Isaiah 4:4)
Spirit of the Lord God (Isaiah 61:1)
Breath of the Almighty (Job 33:4)
Comforter (John 14:16, 26; 15:26)
Spirit of truth (John 14:17; 15:26)
Power of the Highest (Luke 1:35)
Spirit of the Father (Matthew 10:20)
Spirit, The (Matthew 4:1; John 3:6; 1 Timothy 4:1)
Good Spirit (Nehemiah 9:20; Psalms 143:10)
Holy Spirit (Psalm 51:11; Luke 11:13; Ephesians 1:13; 4:30)
Free Spirit (Psalm 51:12)
Spirit of prophecy (Revelation 19:10)
Seven Spirits of God (Revelation 1:4)
Spirit of holiness (Romans 1:4)
Spirit of adoption (Romans 8:15)
Spirit of life (Romans 8:2; Revelation 11:11)
Spirit of Christ (Romans 8:9; 1 Peter 1:11)
Spirit of grace (Zechariah 12:10; Hebrews 10:29)

The Confessions of the Narcissist

Homemakers Work Long Hours for their Families

If this woman did all of this for a wealthy family for a paycheck she would be called "a career woman." "My wife does not work"...

My wife doesn't work!!!

Conversation between a husband (H) and a psychologist (P):

Q: what do you do for a living Mr. Rogers?

H: I work as an accountant in a bank.

P: Your wife?

H: She doesn't work. She's a housewife.

Q: Who makes breakfast for your family?

H: My wife, because she doesn't work

Q: What time does your wife wake?

H: She wakes up early because it has to be organised. She organizes the lunch for the children, ensures that they are well-dressed and combed, if they had breakfast, if they brush their teeth and take all their school supplies. She wakes with the baby and changes diapers and clothes. Breastfeeds and makes snacks as well.

Q: How do your children get to school?

H: My wife takes them to school, because she doesn't work.

P: After taking their children to school, what does she do?

H: Usually takes a while to figure something out that she can do while she is out, so she doesn't have to pack and unpack the carseat too many times, like drop off bills or to make a stop at the supermarket. Sometimes she forgets something and has to make the trip all over again, baby in tow. Once back home, she has to feed the baby lunch and breastfeed again, get the baby's diaper changed and ready for a nap, sort the kitchen and then will take care of laundry and cleaning of the house. You know, because she doesn't work.

P: In the evening, after returning home from the office, what are you doing?

H: Rest, of course. Well, I'm tired after working all day in the bank.

Q: What does your wife do at night?

H: She makes dinner, serves my children and I, washes the dishes, orders once more the house, makes sure the dog is put away as well as any left over dinner. After helping children with HW she gets them prepared to sleep in pajamas and the baby is in fresh diapers, gives warm milk, verifies they brush their teeth. Once in bed she wakes frequently to continue to breastfeed and possibly change a diaper if needed while we rest. Because she doesn't have to get up for work.

-This is the daily routine of many women all over the world, it starts in the morning and continues until the wee hours of the night... This is called "doesn't work"?!

Being a housewife has no diplomas, but has a key role in family life!

Enjoy and appreciate your wife, mother, grandma, aunt, sister, daughter... Because their sacrifice is priceless.

Somebody asked her...

You are a woman who works or is it just "housewife"??

She replied:

I work as a wife of the home, 24 hours a day..

I am a mother,

I am a woman,

I am a daughter,

I'm the alarm clock,

I'm the cook,

I'm the maid,

I am the master,

I'm the bartender,

I'm the babysitter,

I'm a nurse,

I am a manual worker,

I'm a security officer,

I'm the advisor,

I am the comforter,

I don't have a vacation,

I don't have a licence for disease.

I don't have a day off

I work day and night,

I'm on duty all the time,

I do not receive salary and...

Even so, I often hear the phrase:

" but what do you do all day?"

Dedicated to all the women who give their lives for the welfare of their families

The woman is like salt:

Her presence is not remembered, but its absence makes everything left without flavor.

Share with all the beautiful ladies of your life.

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106KYou, Annette Nidam, Emily Nurnberg and 106K others