Today in conversation on the phone we were discussing the roll of men and women in the family. Of course in every discussion there is a joke not far off.
My brother shared his philosophy of life (jokingly) concerning marriage. He said that he believes it might be good to elevate the woman so the man can blame her for everything, except when things go well, then he can take the credit. He has been married 44 years, it seems to be working out for him.
LOL, LOL, LOL!!!!!
Perhaps some people become so dogmatic about the rolls of women and men in marriage that they tend to oppress the creativity of one or the other. There is room for diversity in marriage in terms of function, as long as both husband and wife agree. They must decide between them what works in their marriage.
When I see people making rules that God does not make, for the sake of their own agenda, my first response is to study things out to determine if the rule is actually from God or just a idea spawned from the mind of a human based on one or two verses.
When we have a view of marriage based on Scripture, we had better use the entire Bible, not one or two short passages out of context to fit our own agenda. AND, never are we to judge the marriage of another couple based on OUR OWN ideas.
Each marriage has dynamics within it that we do not know about and that are, frankly, none of our business. When someone begins to mess in another person's marriage, placing pressure on one party to force the other spouse to comply, or, when someone chooses to treat one party in a marriage disrespectfully based on their particular interpretation then we have crossed the line into meddling. Sometimes this meddling comes in subtle covert ways, one of which is to show favoritism one over another.
1 Peter 4:14-16 "…14 If you are insulted for the name of Christ, you are blessed, because the Spirit of glory and of God rests on you. 15 Indeed, none of you should suffer as a murderer or thief or wrongdoer, or even as a MEDDLER. 16 But if you suffer as a Christian, do not be ashamed, but glorify God that you bear this name.…"
1 Thessalonians 4:11-12
"11 and to make it your ambition to lead a quiet life and ATTEND TO YOUR OWN BUSINESS and work with your hands, just as we commanded you,"
There is place for the older women to instruct the younger married women, but there is no place for forcing, belittling, intimidating and treating with contempt. Teaching is far different than attempting to start trouble in a marriage to manipulate one party against another.
Titus 2:3-5
"3 Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good,
4 so that they may ENCOURAGE THE YOUNG WOMEN TO LOVE THEIR HUSBANDS, TO LOVE THEIR CHILDREN,
5 to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored."
Each person ought to be encouraging one another to seek Christ. Then we would have each person evaluating themselves, not seeking to force or intimidate others.
In our modern day of rebellion we see the younger women refusing to listen to instruction and the older women intimidated to withhold it because of the fear of losing the love of their children.
Instruction of children does not end with adulthood, it should be even more appreciated because of growing maturity in the adult children.
No where in God's Word does He tell the younger women to instruct the older women. It is disrespectful for a young woman, newly married to think she can instruct an older woman who has been married 30 years, not only disrespectful but immature. Adult children are to love and honor their parents, they are not to instruct them. Honor means to value them, their wisdom and their years of experience in life.
Some of the most offensive encounters have been when people the age of our grandchildren think they can lecture us about life. Sorry, been through too much over a long period of time to go back to the first grade, taught by an arrogant and self righteous know-it-all.
I am pretty sure many young people are not going to like this post, however, the older ones will know exactly what I am talking about. Perhaps there will be some joy in watching these snotty nosed brats get it from their own children one day. LOL If someone is offended at the use of the term, "snotty nosed brats", then you must think this is about you. If you think this is about you, then seek the Lord for a changed heart, a heart free of arrogance and self righteousness, that will fix the problem.
Colossians 3:20
"Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord."
Romans 12:2
"Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect."
Psalm 31:18
"Let the lying lips be mute, Which speak arrogantly against the righteous With pride and contempt."
2 Timothy 3:1-5
"But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come. For men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy, unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good, treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, holding to a form of godliness, although they have denied its power; Avoid such men as these."
The lesson for young people: Remember that you have not lived long enough to think you know more than those who have lived twice as long. There is a lot more for you to learn, but you will not learn it as long as you think you already know everything. Wisdom comes from listening, watching, praying and living life a long time.
Lastly, lighten up, in other words, don't take yourself so seriously that you can never say, "I was wrong", or "I'm sorry that was a dumb thing to do." The day you can say these things without feeling embarrassed, is the day you will grow spiritually and emotionally.
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