Tuesday, August 22, 2017

Narcissists Attempt at Control

Often I see narcissists deliberately disagreeing with malice or mocking in their voices to cause hurt feelings. They know if they do this in a crowd, it will cast their target in an unfavorable light, for answering back and then an argument ensues. The narcissists in a case like this is able to shut down any discussion immediately through this tactic.

He thinks he appears superior and is able to control the conversation. The best way to handle this is to ignore the arguer and speak personally to someone else in the group. this way the arguer is not able to control the entire conversation through his intimidation tactics.

When we are having a private conversation with a reasonable person, others in the group may hear but feel it is not their conversation and remain silent. This is good in cases where a narcissist is working to cause fights. You will still be able to have your say, the others will hear and the narcissist looks foolish if they insert themselves into a private conversation.

It is the goal of the narcissist to start an argument, they think this makes them superior. It is impossible to reason with someone who only cares about appearing to win, even if he is not winning, beating someone up verbally to make them give up, will make the narcissist sense that he has won. That is the goal of the narcissist, he cares not whether he is rational, whether truth is discovered or someone else is validated, he only care that he wins.

My suggestion:
As soon as you realize you are encountering a narcissist in conversation, ignore everything that comes out of their mouth. The reason? The narcissist will use every single response to begin the fight. If we ignore them and converse with others in the room, the narcissist is not able to take complete control of the mood of the room or the direction of the discussion.

Proverbs 23:9 " 9 Do not speak in the hearing of a fool, For he will despise the wisdom of your words."

Proverbs 14:6-8 "…6 A scoffer seeks wisdom and finds none, But knowledge is easy to one who has understanding. 7 Leave the presence of a fool, Or you will not discern words of knowledge. 8 The wisdom of the sensible is to understand his way, But the foolishness of fools is deceit.…"

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