If we have something to offer them then it is a gift and completely our decision to give it. If we choose not to give, that too is our choice. Please remember that we are not bad parents or evil people if we choose not to indulge the whims of our adult children.
Selfish and entitled adult children will attempt to manipulate and intimidate us into capitulating to their way, we can simply decide that if we have to give into their demands and put up with their insults to keep them, they are not our friends, nor are they acting like real children, they relinquish their family membership when they treat their parents with contempt.
It is a very serious matter to treat parents spitefully, so serious that this is what God said about it;
Deuteronomy 21:18-21 "18 “If a man has a stubborn and rebellious son who will not obey the voice of his father or the voice of his mother, and, though they discipline him, will not listen to them, 19 then his father and his mother shall take hold of him and bring him out to the elders of his city at the gate of the place where he lives, 20 and they shall say to the elders of his city, ‘This our son is stubborn and rebellious; he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton and a drunkard.’ 21 Then all the men of the city shall stone him to death with stones. So you shall purge the evil from your midst, and all Israel shall hear, and fear."
Because we live in an age of grace now we no longer stone rebellious children, however the rebellion remains just as serious in God's eyes.
There are so many adult children now who think they have a right to demand things from their parents or boss them as though they had authority over their parents. This is not Biblical nor does it remotely resemble love.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7
4 Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, 5 does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, 6 does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth;"
God commanded children, young and adults alike to "honor their father and mother." No where in the Word of God do we see God commanding the parents to take care of their adult children. Just the opposite is true, the adult children are commanded to see to the needs of their aging parents.
Ephesians 6:1-3 "1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2“Honor your father and mother” (which is the first commandment with a promise), 3“that it may go well with you and that you may be long-lived on the earth.”…"
Mark 7:8-13
"8 Neglecting the commandment of God, you hold to the tradition of men.”
9 He was also saying to them, “You are experts at setting aside the commandment of God in order to keep your tradition. 10 For Moses said, ‘Honor your father and your mother’; and, ‘He who speaks evil of father or mother, is to [d]be put to death’; 11 but you say, ‘If a man says to his father or his mother, whatever I have that would help you is Corban (that is to say, [e]given to God),’ 12 you no longer permit him to do anything for his father or his mother; 13 thus invalidating the word of God by your tradition which you have handed down; and you do many things such as that.”"
The modern tradition in recent years has been to intimidate aging parents into taking care of adult children who should be taking care of themselves as well as their aging parents.
It's no wonder that we find so many aging parents experiencing "elder abuse" as well as abandonment on the part of their adult children. The new term for the modern abandonment of aging parents tells all, these neglected parents are called "elder orphans." It isn't bad enough that the adult children are treating their parents like "piggy banks", but they marry people who are also just as demanding and rude. If the aging parents do not praise their children and their spouses or give them whatever they want, the children verbally and physically abuse their elders.
Many aging parents today are deciding to "go no contact" with adult children because of the monstrous disrespect they are so tired of enduring.
This kind of evil hatred is a part of the end times realities.
2 Timothy 3 told us it would be this way. Most of us didn't believe it would necessarily be in our lifetime, but there it is and here we are.
2 Timothy 3:1-5
“Difficult Times Will Come”
3 But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come. 2 For men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good, 4 treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, 5 holding to a form of godliness, although they have denied its power; Avoid such men as these."
Parents often provide too much for their children, giving them the idea that the children have a right to that which they did not earn. This mentality leads to monstrous ungratefulness.
We are seeing the results of the "self esteem" teaching heaped on our children in the government schools, the apostate churches and the society in general as the concept spread throughout the movies and every other venue.
Now we watch in the television shows and movies, the model that has been portrayed, the insubordinate and disrespectful responses of children toward their parents as the children instruct their parents and the parents whine as the children control the family.
Isaiah 3:11-13 "…11 Woe to the wicked! It will go badly with him, For what he deserves will be done to him. 12 O My people! Their oppressors are children, And women rule over them. O My people! Those who guide you lead you astray And confuse the direction of your paths. 13 The LORD arises to contend, And stands to judge the people.…"
When the children learn they are little gods that every parent should bow to, then the nation is in real trouble, sorry to be the bearer of bad news folks, but we are there now. The children rule everything from kindergarten to NFL football.
Notice please that the age of maturity is climbing into middle age, if at all. Many people in our children's generation never matured past age six, others made it to age twelve, but most never find maturity, they flounder about in insecurity and rebellion without direction and without resolve about anything except their momentary pleasures.
As we move toward the end of the age, the age of the church, we will find it difficult to meet loving, kind and mature individuals who grow into responsible and reasonable adults. We don't have to allow this fact to devastate us, we can be bold and resolute about the truth and move on when these self proclaimed gods will not listen.
2 Timothy 4:2-4 "…2 Preach the word; be prepared in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, and encourage with every form of patient instruction. 3 For the time will come when men will not tolerate sound doctrine, but with itching ears they will gather around themselves teachers to suit their own desires. 4 So they will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths.…"
Keep going saints and do not allow yourselves to be too deeply connected to those who would seek to ruin us. Love these people from afar, even pray for them, but do not allow them to control your lives or your mission.
When adult children obey God in honoring us, then they may have a place at our table, if they choose to dishonor us, they may not sit at our table.
Isaiah 26:10 " 10 Though the wicked is shown favor, He does not learn righteousness; He deals unjustly in the land of uprightness, And does not perceive the majesty of the LORD. "
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