Rebellious Adult Children

There are many instances now in our day, in which the adult children have either not left the nest or have returned to the nest. Often this happens when they have been irresponsible in one way or another, however there are those special circumstances when they didn't do anything wrong but were found to need a place for a time.

When an adult child returns, they must know the rules and standards of the household.

The homemaker is responsible for protecting what entertainment enters her home. She has the responsibility of monitoring the goings on in her home.

If the spouse is rebellious and refuses to honor her decisions to protect the home from filth, then the rebellious one will be held accountable to God.

Any woman who allows filth in her home is not obeying God.

A wise husband honors the protective decisions of his wife.

We cannot change the heart of rebellious family members, but we can set the standard in our own home by our decrees.

Those adult children who will not obey the family rules will have to move out if they don't like it. If the adult children still living with Mom and Dad do not like the rules of the household, then they must be told to leave. Even if all they do is whine and cry all the time about the rules, they must be told to leave.

Our homes are our safe havens against the world, no adult child should be dictating what is done in our homes, nor should we live with constant negativity.

If an adult child hates our rules and is angry all the time about them, then that child does not love or honor us and must not be allowed to bring such division and negativity into our household.

Exodus 20:12 "12"Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be prolonged in the land which the LORD your God gives you."

If the only way we can get our children to love us is to give them what they want, then it isn't love anyway, it is better to live in peace without them, than to encounter the dishonor of their tantrums every day.

A lazy child who will not help with chores and repairs, must also be told to leave. It was my rule in our home that everyone who lives there, enjoying the benefits of the household, will also work there. Everyone has a job to do, if one person refuses to do his/her part, then they must not be allowed to enjoy the benefits of the household, including meals.

2 Thessalonians 3:10-11 "10 For even while we were with you, we gave you this command: “If anyone is unwilling to work, he shall not eat.” 11 Yet we hear that some of you are leading undisciplined lives and accomplishing nothing but being busybodies.…"

When we follow the principles of God there is peace and love abounding in the household, when we ignore God's standard, out of fear of loss, then we bring on ourselves misery. If we find ourselves continually battling the bad attitudes of adult household members, then it is time to cut them loose to go somewhere else to live as they please.

Even if the rebellious one does his part but whines about it all the time, he too must go. Attitude is just as important as action. One who has a sinful attitude cannot be trusted when no one is watching them.

Ephesians 4:31
"Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice."

As parents of adult children we no longer have to endure the disrespect of our children, letting them go or making them go, is Biblical and preferable to living with a mean spirited and lazy person.

Do not let the culture dictate your decision on this matter. Our culture is lazy about discipline and correction, they will nearly always error on the side of protecting the wrong doer, while ignoring the misery the wrong doer exacts on their victims.

1 Corinthians 3:19 "19 For the wisdom of this world is foolishness in God’s sight. As it is written: “He catches the wise in their craftiness.”

God never intended for us to coddle and pamper lazy adult children, they are to be put out into the world to learn how to take care of themselves, as well as others in their charge. Don't remove their blessing of accomplishment and the lesson of becoming a kind and productive person by enabling them in their laziness.