Forgiving for our own selves is selfish. If we love others we require confession so they will grow in holiness. If they refuse to repent then the relationship remains broken.
This teaching of forgiving when an offender is not sorry, pressures the innocent to forgive, when it should be pressuring the offender to repent.
Once again the perpetrator gets all the love and the victim gets nothing but pressure and even contempt for not wanting to forgive someone who continues in their sin without sorrow over it.
Forgiving without confession and sorrow over sin does absolutely nothing. We are not bitter because the offender will not be sorry, they remain in their guilt and that's where we should leave them.
Removing the guilt of the offender removes the possibility that they might realize their need to be cleansed. We demonstrate that God does not require repentance to know the fellowship of God, it lies against God and His character.
God is a just God, He never beats up on the victim to forgive, but He does call the offender to account while defending the victim of abuse.
This twisted thinking of forgiveness for the offender without confession has led to abuse against victims of evil. Its lying against God, His character and His purpose.
Those who are too stubborn to confess their sin must be afforded the blessing of remaining in their guilt so they will eventually see the need to confess to be changed.
The mentality of forgiving before there is sorrow over sin has been foisted on the American culture to make everyone feel better, even leading people to believe there is no such thing as sin, just hurting people who hurt people.
In this culture everyone is just a hurting people who hurt others., This is not only unbiblical it is devilish, leaving the victims with unjust answers to the harm that was done against them.
These are modern and sophisticated self righteousness. Those who are proud of themselves for forgiving others who need to be punished. Punishment if for the purpose of bringing someone to a state of repentance.
The very sad thing is the unnecessary pressure exacted upon the innocent to forgive when the offender should be called to account and avoided if they are too stubborn to confess and repent.
As a culture we have managed to empower evil while harming the victims. We ought to be hugging and encouraging the victim while punishing the evil.
Don't anyone come to me and express that they have forgiven Hitler, he was not forgiven by God and neither should we forgive him.
And so it is true about anyone else who has offended God and man, they are not forgiven until they repent and confess. NO matter how small the sin is, the formula remains, approaching the offender to tell them of their sin, if they will not listen then we are to leave them in their sin and avoid them. This is God's way. If we love the offender we allow them to remain in their guilt until such time as they are burdened to repent. That is God's love.
Romans 2:4
"4 Or do you think lightly of the riches of His kindness and tolerance and patience, not knowing that the kindness of God leads you to repentance?"
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