Unforgiveness in the Heart

There is only unforgiveness in our heart if the offender repents and we don't forgive. We desire to forgive. Forgiveness is for the purpose of reconciling a relationship. When someone is not sorry and refuses to mend their ways, the relationship remains broken. It is wrong to forgive when the offenders will not repent. We are to forgive the way God forgives, that is "when they confess", 1 John 1:9. When we forgive before they repent we are enablers, allowing them to be empowered in their sin.

No where in the Bible does God say to forgive without repentance. He requires sorrow over the offense for the relationship to be mended.

Isaiah 26:10 "10 Though grace is shown to the wicked man, he does not learn righteousness. In the land of righteousness he acts unjustly and fails to see the majesty of the LORD. "

We do not forgive for our own sake, we forgive for the sake of the other person and for the relationship. It is selfish to forgive before someone is sorry, it removes the burden of guilt from them that leads them to repentance.

If we love someone we require that they are sorry so they can move on to a guilt free life. If they are too stubborn to repent, then they remain in their soulish condition, never growing and not free from the guilt of their sin.

It is selfish to forgive just so we can feel better. Hitler is not forgiven by God nor man, He was evil and there is no forgiveness for him. To forgive an evil man is a slap in the face of God and all those whom he harmed.

The victims are often pressured to forgive those who don't deserve it, this is unjust. God only forgives us when we confess. No one is forgiven without it.

Because of the false and psychological teaching that every one is to forgive even though someone is not sorry, causes many people to believe other must forgive them even when they are not sorry for their sin.

Those who will not confess to God their sinfulness will not go to heaven. Those who will not admit their sin against others will not be forgiven by God and should not be forgiven by others.

When someone refuses to confess then our response to them is to remove ourselves until they want to confess. Our culture today expects for others to just "let it go" when they commit sins, removing all guilt that leads to sorrow over sin Because of this flippant mentality toward sin people don't grow and change.

It is also foolish to think that someone is going to change simply because we act friendly toward them. We are never to do revenge and we are always to pray for them, but as long as the offender is stubborn and unrepentant we must leave them alone for God to deal with. We have no right to remove the conviction of sin with our smooth words that only enable the wicked man.

God commands us to go to the offender, tell him his fault, if he repents we are to forgive, if he does not then we are to treat him as an unbeliever and remove ourselves from the relationship.

Matthew 18:15-18 "Discipline and Prayer
15 “If your brother sins, go and [l]show him his fault in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother. 16 But if he does not listen to you, take one or two more with you, so that by the mouth of two or three witnesses every fact may be confirmed. 17 If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. 18 Truly I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall have been bound in heaven; and whatever you loose on earth shall have been loosed in heaven."