Narcissists don't hate you, they hate the way you make them feel. If you elevate them they love you, if you are authentic and do not elevate them they will hate you. They will rage at the suggestion that they might not know everything and need to listen.
There is only love and hate in the narcissists realm. If we do not measure up to their idea of good which includes elevating them, then we are the object of contempt.
When we become born again not very much is about self. The narcissist is all about themselves. The authentic born again believer is able to see themselves in truth, warts as well as talents. We were not able to come to Christ unless we were broken over our sinfulness to confess it. That's why confessing is not nearly as difficult for the born again believer as it is for the narcissist. For the narcissist having to admit flaws is like a stabbing in the heart, they will not do it ever.
The narcissist cannot accept anyone who sees themselves in authenticity, the must be continually stroked to be able to function. If someone else is authentic it makes the phony narcissist very uncomfortable.
The born again believer does not have the burden of measuring up, they already know they don't measure up to Christ's standard and never could.
The narcissist sees themselves as the god of their life. They would give themselves high marks for perfection, but in order to do that they must pretend they are something they are not.
It is hard work pretending to be something one is not. Hiding is exhausting at best.
The freest life we can live is having been saved from our sin by the blood of Christ knowing that only He is righteous. Its freeing and beautiful when we can admit our flaws to move on to greater holiness. The stress of pretense does not dominate the believers life as it does the life of the narcissist.
If something is revealed about the believer they take it on the chin ready to make changes. However the narcissist struggles and fights to maintain their false persona especially when they have been discovered.
Until the narcissist is broken over their own sin and can admit it, they will not be able to grow past the bratty six year old mentality.
The narcissist can pretend kindness and compassion along with all the rest of the qualities but only because it gains them something. The born again believer loves these qualities because Christ dwells in them. The qualities come naturally without effort.
Narcissists have only their own futile human effort to demonstrate godly traits, believers have the strength of Christ and His nature to be able to effortlessly become like Him.
Colossians 3:12
"So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience;"
1 Peter 1:2
"according to the foreknowledge of God the Father, by the sanctifying work of the Spirit, to obey Jesus Christ and be sprinkled with His blood: May grace and peace be yours in the fullest measure."
Colossians 1:22
"yet He has now reconciled you in His fleshly body through death, in order to present you before Him holy and blameless and beyond reproach--"
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