Where is the Love?

In the culture in which I grew up we were raised with certain rules that fostered a sense of good hospitality.

One of those rules was followed by the entire culture. Those that didn't follow these rules were considered rude and crass without manners.

One rule was that whenever anyone came to the door for a visit whether they were expected or not, they were offered a drink and a snack if one was available.

If someone arrived unexpectedly while we were napping we quickly put our shoes on to greet them at the door. It was considered rude to greet anyone in ones bare or stocking feet. One was not dressed if there were no shoes on their feet. If a man had no shirt on he would rush to put on a shirt. Being undressed was considered rude.

When a guest entered the home of the host they never ever complained about the food or the table decor. We received the hospitality of the host with gratefulness and graciousness.

The host took care to prepare a table for the guests in her style and personality. Any comment that demeaned or mocked what the host had done was the height of rudeness and that guest would not have been invited back.

Standards for hospitality have been lost in a culture whose greatest goal is to be superior to others.

When we visit someone's home and receive with gratefulness whatever they are offering, we are deferring to them. When we are the host preparing a good snack, meal or drink for our guests we are deferring to our guest

Narcissists hate manners because a display of manners is a deference toward others. We have become subordinate to the one we serve. Narcissists cannot see themselves as serving or deferring to anyone, the very reason the culture has become more narcissistic.

People in our culture want to be served, but they do not want to serve and they lack gratefulness and graciousness to be able to bow to anyone else.

Philippians 2:3 "Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem the other better than himself."

When self esteem has been deeply ingrained in the culture there is no room for hospitality, unless that hospitality is done to gain favor or self elevation.

Yes, I will say it, as a whole this culture is ugly, mean and lacking in manners. Thinking of others is not important to most these days, self aggrandizement is the goal of most people today.