I have seen cases in which the man became a Christian to become married to the woman. He knew she would not marry him unless he was a Christian so he decided to become one, but it was not real, it was manipulation and pretense to gain something he wanted.
Then the woman is shocked when there is no change in the man's character or he changes for a short time and then regresses to the point of disinterest in Christ or the things of the Lord.
We see this sort of thing often in our culture because "words" take priority over actions and change is no longer considered relevant in "becoming a Christian." No one chooses to be a Christian in the sense that one day they decided to join the group, especially if they join to gain something they want.
A person is changed by Christ into a new creation when they confess their sinfulness and desire to be changed by Him. There is a deep sense of sadness that comes over those who realize they have offended the Holy God as well as a desire to be cleansed of their sin. Without this process of brokenness over sin there is not salvation.
We see so many pretenders in the church today because the element of brokenness over sin is left out and no longer required to be one of the evidences of someone who no longer wants to offend God.
In fact, many people come to Christ to feel safe and to gain praise in a community, they have no sense of their own wickedness, they even think they have something to offer God without any inclination that change is needed to have a relationship with Christ. I don't mean someone needs to change themselves to have a relationship with Christ, I mean they must desire Him to change them to have a relationship with Christ.
1 John 1:9: “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."
Acts 19:18-19 "18 Many who had believed now came forward, confessing and disclosing their deeds. 19 And a number of those who had practiced magic arts brought their books and burned them in front of everyone. When the value of the books was calculated, the total came to fifty thousand drachmas.…"
When we have been changed by Christ we begin to hate what we used to love. We don't burn our idols to become saved, we burn them because Christ changed our thinking and we hate what He hates and love what He loves.
When someone became a Christian and nothing changed, their heart still likes themselves more than they love Christ then they were never born again. When pride still remains and stubbornness to the Word of God still remains then they were never changed by Christ because they joined the Christian club for their own sense of safety.
It is notable that when people feel unsafe they run to God but as soon as they feel safe again they ignore Him. This happened in 9/11 when the towers came down. People flocked to the buildings that purported to be Christian safety zones, but not long after the impact of the tragedy they began to ignore God again.
This practice of using God to feel safe has been going on from the beginning of Christ's ministry.
Matthew 5:3-4 "3“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. 4 Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. 5 Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth."
God will not save the proud who elevate themselves but He will change anyone who sees themselves in truth as desperately wicked unable to save themselves.
If arrogance and superiority remain in someone then Christ has not changed them. If there is the lack of the fruit of the Spirit then Christ has not changed the person who claims with their mouth that they are a Christian but still remains full of self-exaltation and stubbornness.
Those who have been changed by Christ have all the fruit of the Spirit of God. These characteristics are the attributes that are the very essence of Who Christ is, they are not human and only those changed by Christ into a new creation will have these traits.
There will be those who appear to have them but revert to their old self at the slightest hint of pressure about anything from anyone. These people were attempting to appear to have this fruit but it was an act not brought on by the power of Christ but their own theatrics. This is the majority of people who attend the apostate churches today, they are performing for their audience but still remain selfish, entitled and arrogant on the inside.
We cannot be different on the inside than our true character. When someone seems to step out of character there has not been a change they are only reverting to their true nature that was never changed, it was an act. This act can go on for years all the while the lack of fruit would only be seen by those who are discerning and know the Scriptures well.
Matthew 23:26-28 "…26 Blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and dish, so that the outside may become clean as well. 27 Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside, but on the inside are full of dead men’s bones and every kind of impurity. 28 In the same way, on the outside you appear to be righteous, but on the inside, you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness.…
Those who love Christ will never regress into selfishness and sin, because it was Christ who changed their hearts.
There are many preachers in pulpits today who are not saved, they think they are because they attended a special school, or that they have lived what they believe to be a good life but they were never dedicated to the truth of the Word of God, they are playing a role and fooling many undiscerning soles.
Galatians 5:22-23: "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law".
May we develop a heart of discernment through the study of the Bible, so that we will be able to know the difference between a true believer and a false believer.
Matthew 7:21-23
21 “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven.
22 On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’
23 And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.’"