Self-Esteem is not the same as Confidence

Confidence is not the same as "self-esteem" and yet most people think of confidence when they hear the words "self-esteem."

"Self-esteem" is esteeming ourselves better than others.

Philippians 2:3-5

"3 Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves."

In other words, the "self-esteem" doctrine is against God's word and according to faulty human wisdom.

Confidence resides in a person who knows what they believe and trust in Christ for His wisdom. Confidence does not cause us to treat others as beneath us, but it does allow us to carry on our lives without fear of what others think of us.

Confidence allows us to be kind to those who are unkind to us. It allows us to defer to others because of our love for Christ and for them.

Those who are confident do not think of themselves very much, they just live the way they believe and share truth with others to help them.

Those who narcissistically live by self-esteem are those who lack confidence needing to be superior in order to feel good about themselves. Their own interests and their own feelings take priority over everyone else. These people cannot learn, they remain emotional and spiritual infants always on the defensive to prove themselves to others. They can never receive a correction and are always correcting and judging others.

A confident person need not feel superior to anyone and can boldly state their beliefs because they do not fear the reactions or retaliation of others.

Confident people walk in love and truth as a lifestyle.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8a "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8 Love never fails."

Love does not show partiality or need to impress those they think are superior to others.

A confident person feels no need to explain to others why they do things although they may have dialogues to clear up misunderstandings with those who are rational and reasonable. Those who would invite a good discussion to resolve things will want to discuss matters in love, this is what makes good relationships.

Our world is rampant now with those who are madly in love with themselves and enraged when someone challenges them to self-reflect for emotional and spiritual growth.

We cannot help those who refuse to be helped and we cannot have a relationship with those who want only to be superior to us. These people judge only two ways, they see those they admire as perfect and those they don't admire as all bad. They are not able to see someone in truth and love them, warts and all. Narcissists live vicariously through those they elevate while denying the good in those who are judged as imperfect.

In other words, the love of a narcissist is not love at all but conditional to our performance that matches pitch with the elevated idea they have of themselves.

What a blessing it is when we meet people who are honest open and loving, ready to discuss things as we all grow and learn from one another. There is no pretense with God's people, just authentic love as they live out their life in Christ.

It is also a blessing to enjoy the company of others we know are imperfect because we know we all are lacking in something. The beauty of the loving Christ like relationship is that we accept and love a person with all their blessings and warts. There is no pride or self-promotion involved in genuinely righteous brothers and sisters in Christ.

God told us to walk away from those who say they are Christians but who walk disobediently through self-exaltation. We can pray for them and even rebuke them at times but they cannot be our constant companions, they will bring out the worst in us and we will enable their bad behavior by remaining with them.

Galatians 5:22-23

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, / gentleness, and self-control. Against such things there is no law."

Ephesians 4:2

"with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love,"

Colossians 3:12-14

"Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, clothe yourselves with hearts of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. / Bear with one another and forgive any complaint you may have against someone else. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. / And over all these virtues put on love, which is the bond of perfect unity."

1 Peter 4:8

"Above all, love one another deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins."

God made it clear that we are to edify one another, that is help one another to walk more Christlike with great compassion toward one another.

Gifts from the Heart are of More Value than Gifts from Obligation

Gifts given out of obligation are no gift at all, but a burden. Hosea 6:6

Obedience and Truth

Partial obedience is still disobedience and
Half-truths are still whole lies

Partial Obedience is Still Disobedience

We are living in the end times in which many, if not most people are experiencing individuals who are very selfish and mean.

I remember when the "self-esteem" teaching began back in the 1970's most people began to accept it because it sounded kind. Then the churches followed the world and adopted it too.

The problem with the building of "self-esteem" is that it is the devil's way of fooling people into believing we need to foster "sefl-love" not realizing that we are all born with self-love and need to love others better than ourselves.

Philippians 2:3-4 "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves".

Sadly even those who said they didn't agree with "self-esteem" teaching began to implement it eventually under the pressure of family, church and friends who thought it was mean and rude to discipline children. This is the opposite of what God taught in His word and because church people were not reading the Bible or those who were reading it were interpreting it in the context of what the world was doing instead of evaluating the world according to the Bible we have the mess we have today. The culture is self-destructing as we near the end of the church age.

Now we have most families broken and fractured, even Christian families who attend gatherings every week but have no clue what God teaches and have followed the world's ways.

Ephesians 6:4 "

Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord."

Putting this passage with other passages from the Bible we learn that lack of discipline is a form of frustrating a child because leniency brings insecurity to the heart of a child who is neglected through "time out" and indulgence when they have tantrums.

Proverbs 23:12-14 "…12 Apply your heart to instruction and your ears to words of knowledge. 13 Do not withhold discipline from a child; although you strike him with a rod, he will not die. 14 Strike him with a rod, and you will deliver his soul from Sheol."

Even the seculars back in the day, when we were children, understood physical discipline as the correct model to teach children to respect and obey their parents and to be considerate of others in society. The followed the biblical model not realizing where it came from because it worked well to build a respectful, helpful and kind society.

Many of us had difficulty with our children because we did the right thing according to God's principles but the schools they attended, and the churches as well as extended family came against what parents did that complied with God's Word. The children saw the world punishing spiritually and emotionally their parents and thought their parents were doing something wrong. Because the "village" influenced the children they learned to defy their parents in their teen years becoming bitter against them. This same generation treats parents with contempt except those lenient parents who accept any and all sin as long as their children want it.

Sadly these rebellious children are raising rebellious grandchildren who lack respect for anyone especially anyone who will correct them verbally.

We were raised to work together for the greater good, but our children's generation was trained by the culture to seek their own glory causing them to be uncooperative without regard for the greater good all they care about is being elevated in the eyes of others and the center of attention. The spirit of competition is greater than its ever been and working together is rarely practiced now.

We hear all the time how difficult it is to find young adults who do a good job at work and will collaborate for a more excellent purpose. The sense of "team-work" is passing away while independence is promoted. The idea of the "individual" being more important than the group, has permeated everything. God said it would be this way in the end times. This is one of the reasons I am convinced we are in the end times.

Society is looking continually for their fifteen minutes of fame even if they have to walk over others to gain it.

2 Timothy 3:1-5

Difficult Times Will Come

"3 But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come. 2 For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, slanderers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good, 4 treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, 5 holding to a form of godliness although they have denied its power; avoid such people as these."

Those who use the Bible as the standard to follow are demeaned and rejected for being legalistic, but those who reject the Bible have their own set of rules the Bible does not teach and twist the scriptures to justify their false assertions.

The idea of "legalism" has been twisted to mean adherence to the Bible. The truth of the matter is that it is not legalism to obey the scriptures, but it is legalism to obey man's rules that God never commanded. In these last days "bad will be called good and good will be called bad."

Satan has been very clever in turning the entire world into a rebellious state while lying and claiming the Bible followers are the rebellious ones.

The legalists are calling the Bible followers legalists and denying their own form of human legalism in defiance of God.

It is impossible to reason with those who have decided what they want to believe that is against God's Word, the best thing to do is walk away and encourage those who want to walk with Christ.

John 14:15-16 "15 If you love Me, you will keep My commandments. 16 And I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Advocate to be with you forever."

1 John 2:3-5

"By this we can be sure that we have come to know Him: if we keep His commandments. If anyone says, “I know Him,” but does not keep His commandments, he is a liar, and the truth is not in him. But if anyone keeps His word, the love of God has been truly perfected in him. By this we know that we are in Him:"

1 John 3:22-24

"and we will receive from Him whatever we ask, because we keep His commandments and do what is pleasing in His sight. And this is His commandment: that we should believe in the name of His Son, Jesus Christ, and we should love one another just as He commanded us. Whoever keeps His commandments remains in God, and God in him. And by this we know that He remains in us: by the Spirit He has given us."

God gives us every principle necessary to live as He wants us to live. If we love Him we love His principles and actually follow them. Those who pick and choose what they want to follow are not obeying.

Partial obedience is still disobedience.

Nothing in this World is more Frightening than hearing "Depart from Me I never knew you!

Praising the Lord for His Purposes in Suffering

Today I would like to praise the Lord for doctors!!!!! I cannot count the number of times doctors have helped me back to good health when I thought there was no hope of being normal again.

Yes, sometimes I had to wait for the answers and because I was frustrated dealing with my infirmities I groused a little with impatience. Now, I realize God was placing me in a situation in which I had to completely rely on Him as I waited for a resolution.

I have known many people in my life who died because there was no resolution but it was not because doctors didn't try, it was because it was God's will for these people to go home, that was the resolution.

I confess I am not a patient person and never have been. I like things to happen quickly but they rarely do. I have always known I was born with impatience and battled against the feeling only after I became born again.

When an idea comes to mind I want to implement it immediately. Thank the Lord for all the times He made me wait for His timing and for His perfect answer for my situation.

We know what we want but we often do not know what God's will is for us. When we get to the place where we are no longer begging God for our will and begin asking for His will, then we know there has been Spiritual maturity, especially if we have had to endure illness for a length of time.

I have had lots of illness in my life and God brought me through all of it. If anyone thinks they have never been ill because they are especially good, they might want to pray against that attitude. God may bring illness to mature their attitude. Illness helps us see our need for God and His purposes in it. It is usually after I am feeling better that I can speak so "fondly" of illness. LOL

May we see the providence of God in the middle of our trials and praise Him through them.

I thank the Lord for my husband who lavished me with empathy and help during those times of suffering.

Hallelujah!!!!

God's Perfect Order in the Body

God has His perfect order for the gathering and all believers, men and women have gifts God has given them.

1 Corinthians 12:14-27
14 For the body is not one part, but many.
15 If the foot says, “Because I am not a hand, I am not a part of the body,” it is not for this reason any less a part of the body.
16 And if the ear says, “Because I am not an eye, I am not a part of the body,” it is not for this reason any less a part of the body.
17 If the whole body were an eye, where would the hearing be? If the whole body were hearing, where would the sense of smell be? 18 But now God has arranged the parts, each one of them in the body, just as He desired.
19 If they were all one part, where would the body be?
20 But now there are many parts, but one body.
21 And the eye cannot say to the hand, “I have no need of you”; or again, the head to the feet, “I have no need of you.”
22 On the contrary, it is much truer that the parts of the body which seem to be weaker are necessary;
23 and those parts of the body which we consider less honorable, on these we bestow greater honor, and our less presentable parts become much more presentable,
24 whereas our more presentable parts have no need of it. But God has so composed the body, giving more abundant honor to that part which lacked,
25 so that there may be no division in the body, but that the parts may have the same care for one another.
26 And if one part of the body suffers, all the parts suffer with it; if a part is honored, all the parts rejoice with it."
27 Now you are Christ’s body, and individually parts of it."

Those Who Don't Care About Pleasing Christ

Those who don't seem to care very much if you are pleasing God often defend or deny their sin.

 
Those who don't care what God thinks are likely not born again, they are playing religion. The evidence is in the mocking of God's principles to justify their own sin.
Those who are pretenders often mock, dismiss, and demean those who insist that believers obey Christ and that His Word is more than just "good-sounding suggestions."

 
Those who make up their own rules to fit their desired lifestyle are not being convicted by the Holy Spirit, walk in rebellion and probably are those who will hear the words written in Matthew 7:21-23.

Matthew 7:21-23
I Never Knew You
21 “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven.
22 On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’
23 And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.’"

The Use of Letter to Hide Filthy Speech

Just to let you know, if anyone is using a filthy word, leaving out two letters to pretend they are not saying the word, they are still using the word.

My question is "Why would a Christian want to pretend to use a filthy word? Perhaps it is just to fit into the culture around them or maybe it sounds "cool" to them.

Ephesians 4:29, "Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.".

"Corrupting talk":

"This phrase is translated from a Greek word meaning "rotten" or "unwholesome," implying that speech should not be degrading or harmful."

Leaving out a couple of letters is a way of pretending not to use the word but still using it. The people reading still know what you are saying and are being influenced to do the same thing.

We don't need to fit into the world, we can be and should be different.

Pressuring Others for Money is not Biblical

Pressuring me to give to foreign missions I know nothing about is manipulation. I will block anyone who is "pressuring" me for funds. When the Holy Spirit guides me to give I will know it is Him, pressuring others for money is not Biblical.

One person challenged me that something was wrong because I was ignoring him. He was attempting to place guilt on me for something God never told me to do.

I do not believe in begging others to give money or anything else. If there is a need God will fill that need through His promptings in the hearts of people, not through human pressure.

This is also the reason I don't like "building funds", when anyone can have a gathering in their home or rent a space monthly without monstrous mortgages while badgering people to give to the "building fund."

We are to be generous people as believers, but that does not mean we give our money to just anyone or any cause because others expect it from us. We give as led by the Holy Spirit not as badgered by men.

Many things people ask for are not needs, they are just indulgences, such as fancy structures. One person asked me to donate money for Christmas gifts for children, I don't even celebrate that pagan holiday myself. Children do not need gifts they need Christ. If He is all they have they have enough.

2 Corinthians 9:7 "Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver".

After all, isn't it more exciting to see a need met by God when He was the only one we told about it? I think so!!!

Disallowing Participation in the Assembly is not Biblical

The modern church system disallows anyone from interrupting the preacher, this is the opposite of what God expressed for the New Testament assembly.

Everyone is participating as led by the Holy Spirit, no one person is leading and there is no formula or traditions of men in play here.

1 Corinthians 14:29-32

"29 Have two or three prophets (teachers of Bible truth) speak, and have the others pass judgment.

30 But if a revelation is made to another who is seated, then the first one is to keep silent.

31 For you can all prophesy one by one, so that all may learn and all may be exhorted; 32 and the spirits of prophets are subject to prophets; 33 for God is not a God of confusion but of peace.

The word "prophesy" here means to expound on the existing Word of God, it is not future-telling.

1 Thessalonians 5:20-21

"Do not treat prophecies with contempt, / but test all things. Hold fast to what is good."

1 John 4:1

"Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God. For many false prophets have gone out into the world."

Acts 17:11

"Now the Bereans were more noble-minded than the Thessalonians, for they received the message with great eagerness and examined the Scriptures every day to see if these teachings were true."

False Professions vs Authentic Ones

Matthew 10:35-37 "…35 For I have come to turn ‘a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. 36 A man’s enemies will be the members of his own household.’ 37 Anyone who loves his father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me;…"

John 15:18-20 "18 the world hates you, understand that it hated Me first. 19 If you were of the world, it would love you as its own. Instead, the world hates you, because you are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. 20 Remember the word that I spoke to you: ‘No servant is greater than his master.’ If they persecuted Me, they will persecute you as well; if they kept My word, they will keep yours as well.…"

The more we think with the mind of Christ the less we will be thinking about ourselves and not feel hurt when others reject us because we know it happened to Christ and foretold to us that it will also be our life.

John 17:14

"I have given them Your word and the world has hated them. For they are not of the world, just as I am not of the world."

1 John 4:1-6 "4 Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world.

2 By this you know the Spirit of God: every spirit that confesses that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is from God;

3 and every spirit that does not confess Jesus is not from God; this is the spirit of the antichrist, which you have heard is coming, and now it is already in the world.

4 You are from God, little children, and have overcome them; because greater is He who is in you than he who is in the world. 5 They are from the world, therefore they speak as from the world, and the world listens to them. 6 We are from God. The one who knows God listens to us; the one who is not from God does not listen to us. By this we know the spirit of truth and the spirit of error."

"Confess" in this passage means to agree with God about Who Jesus is.

Is it possible to "agree with God about Who Jesus is" and still ignore His word. If we say we agree with God but it does not lead us to obey Him, then perhaps our words are nothing.

Mathew 15:7-9 "7You hypocrites! Isaiah prophesied correctly about you: 8 These people honor Me with their lips, but their hearts are far from Me. 9 They worship Me in vain; they teach as doctrine the precepts of men.’ "

Merely saying things does not make the words evidence that we believe. Faith and works as well as words and works prove whether or not we are telling the truth.

James 2:18-20 "18 But someone will say, “You have faith, and I have works.” Show me your faith without your works, and I will show you my faith by my works.

19 You believe that there is one God. You do well. Even the demons believe—and tremble!

20 But do you want to know, O foolish man, that faith without works is dead?

Authentic confession of faith in Christ is always proven by our attitudes and actions. Many in our day are claiming to be Christian but have no fruit of the Spirit and will hear one day, if they don't repent, "I never knew you."

Galatians 5:22-23

"22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law."

Believers recognize one another because of the character qualities of Christ that are seen Spiritually in one another.

Those who believe they are saved but only "said" they were Christians, are not born again and will hear the following frightening words from God:

Matthew 7:21-23

I Never Knew You

21 “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven.

22 On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’

23 And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.’"

Many people will claim to have faith but follow men instead of Christ, this is a dead giveaway. When someone defends a religious teacher they are placing more emphasis on that person than they are Christ, in other words, they count the person as above Christ.

May each one evaluate whether or not they are following Christ or placing their trust in men.

Do Not Answer a Fool

God said not to answer a fool according to their folly, or you will be like him. I have learned over the years to never respond to the foolishness of the narcissist. Our response no matter how reasoned or rational is food for them to attack in worse ways.

Narcissists love to get a response of any kind to be able to twist our words and reactions. The best action to take is to remove ourselves from them and maintain that boundary away from them.

Ecclesiastes 10:12-14

"The words of a wise man’s mouth are gracious, but the lips of a fool consume him. / The beginning of his talk is folly, and the end of his speech is evil madness. / Yet the fool multiplies words. No one knows what is coming, and who can tell him what will come after him?"

1 Peter 5:8 "

Be of sober spirit, be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour."

Remember in the garden when the devil spoke to Eve? He told her that God lied to her, that He didn't mean what He said and that He was withholding good things from her.

This is exactly the tactic of those who love themselves and hate God. They work to discredit and demean anyone who speaks the truth of God's Word. They use an excuse for why we are bad and why they won't listen to us.

It is impossible to reason with someone who believes they know everything and will never value someone else's perspective. Those who see themselves as superior to others will never have the fruit of the Spirit of God, of which the first of the fruit is love.

Proverbs 29:9-10 "9 If a wise man goes to court with a fool, there will be raving and laughing with no resolution. 10 Men of bloodshed hate a blameless man, but the upright care for his life.…"

We must protect our walk with Christ by removing those who say they are Christians but act like they have never been changed by Christ. If they ever repent then we will think alike and enjoy one another, but until that happens there is no possibility of a relationship.

Ecclesiastes 7:9

"Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger settles in the lap of a fool."

Matthew 7:6

"Do not give dogs what is holy; do not throw your pearls before swine. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and then turn and tear you to pieces."

If we are to maintain our peace and walk with Christ we must remove ourselves from those who continually gossip and cause trouble just to feel superior to others.

2 Timothy 2:23-24

"But reject foolish and ignorant speculation, for you know that it breeds quarreling. / And a servant of the Lord must not be quarrelsome, but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, and forbearing."

When we obey Christ we will be at peace even when we cannot escape the wicked person, but if we can escape we must do it.

The Difference Between a Peacemaker and a Peacekeeper

"Peacemakers" are those who tell the truth to heal the broken and bleeding, "peacekeepers" are those who place a bandaide over a gapping wound to hide it, nothing is resolved and the wound grows larger and eventually deadly.

Jeremiah 30:12-17

12 “For this is what the Lord says:

‘Your broken limb is irreparable,

And your wound is incurable.

13 There is no one to plead your cause;

No healing for your sore,

No recovery for you.

14 All your lovers have forgotten you,

They do not seek you;

For I have wounded you with the wound of an enemy,

With the punishment of a cruel one,

Because your wrongdoing is great,

And your sins are numerous.

15 Why do you cry out over your injury?

Your pain is incurable.

Because your wrongdoing is great

And your sins are numerous,

I have done these things to you.

16 Therefore all who devour you will be devoured;

And all your adversaries, every one of them, will go into captivity;

And those who plunder you will become plunder,

And all who plunder you I will turn into plunder.

17 For I will restore you to health

And I will heal you of your wounds,’ declares the Lord,

‘Because they have called you an outcast, saying:

“It is Zion; no one [c]cares for her.”’

God brings hardship and punishment to cause the people to come to Him. It is only when we are devastated and see no way to fix a problem when we turn to God.

When we go to God first with everything we can avoid the discipline of the Lord. The arrogance of wanting to figure things out for ourselves brings much pain and failure.

Let Christ rule in you and even your failures will turn into blessings!